Page 26 of By Your Side


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“Oh, my goodness.” Without really thinking about it, I wander out of the kitchen and back in to the living room without really thinking much about Millie anymore. I’m too much shock to really process what’s going on, it’s almost as if I’m alone digesting this, not with her at all. This is bad, really bad…

Abuse, beatings, hospital visits… The police reports that people who I assume are fans of me have found show it all. Poor Millie has been through a really horrible time with an abusive ex that it seemed she started dating much too young. As if that wasn’t all bad enough, the public are using this as something to drag her down a bit, to suggest that she isn’t good enough to date me because she got sucked in to a toxic situation. No wonder she didn’t want to tell me anything about this. It’s sickening and shows how bad people’s attitudes are.

I fall on to her couch as I see something else, something even worse, something that must have really affected Millie. So much so that it made her run away from her life completely. Dante, her boyfriend, killed people in an accident and the local town people really turned on her and made her feel like shit about it with stupid attitudes. Attitudes which have only grown out in to the world now that more people know about it.

Drug Addict Dante Booth Kills Family in Horror Crash.

He is the one who took drugs, he’s the one who got in the car and had the crash, but people seem to think that she should have known about it. That she could have changed things. That Millie is somewhat responsible because she was with him. But considering the abuse that she suffered because of him, ow could she have done a thing? It makes me so angry on Millie’s behalf. This is absolutely crazy. I want to reply to every comment, to tell them that they couldn’t be more wrong, but if I interfere I will only make it even worse.

“Oh, shit.” This is why Millie didn’t want to be seen with me. I can understand now. I wouldn’t want to be associated with anyone if it could put me in a position like this either. “Oh God, Millie…”

What do I do now? Now, I really am helpless. What the hell can I do to stop this from making Millie’s life worse? Stephen wouldn’t be able to sort this just as much as I can’t. This is out of my hand completely. I can feel it surrounding me, squashing me from every angle, the walls closing in on me. This is a nightmare. And it isn’t even directly happening to me. I’m just the wick that ignited the flames and now the fire is spreading throughout the wood lands and there isn’t a damn thing that I can do to stop it.Chapter 12 – MillieI chew anxiously on my thumb nail as I wait for Lance to come back in to the kitchen. He will, if he wants to talk about it, if he can still bear to be around me. I suppose he won’t if he agrees with all of those awful comments about me. But if that’s the case then I have no idea what I’ll do. If he goes then I’ll lose every part of myself because he’s the only thing I’m mentally clinging to right now. His opinion is the only thing connecting me to the planet, once I lose him then I will know for sure that I can never escape my past.

“What is he doing?” I whisper to myself. My foot keeps tapping hard and fast on the floor as my nerves get the better of me. “What the fuck is he doing? He must know by now. He has to have seen it…”

I spin rapidly and grab myself a glass. My throat is dry and painful, I need some liquid to cool me down, but as I try and pour water in to the glass, it splashes all over my hands. I’m too scared and messy to even get a drink, to satisfy one of my basic freaking human needs, which is just stupid. I am a real state.

“Just go and speak to him,” I scold myself, trying to snap myself in to action. “Remember that you didn’t do anything wrong, just like your father said. Go in there and be strong. Stand your ground.”

Maybe if I can stand my ground with Lance then I can do it with the rest of the world as well. Perhaps I will be able to hold my head up high and show everyone that it doesn’t matter how much they want to take me down from behind the secrecy of their computer screens, they can’t destroy me… but I honestly don’t know if I have the inner strength for that. It’s all well and good wanting to be that strong woman, but actually being her is something else. I just don’t know if I can do that quite yet, it isn’t quite there in me.

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