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And not talking to her and spending time with her was driving me crazy.
So, I attempted to speak to her once at work and twice in the parking lot as she was leaving. Neither went well.
“Please, Jeremy. I can’t right now,” was all she said, putting her head down and hurrying away like her ass was on fire.
It hurt. A lot. It seemed I was incapable of brushing it off and moving on to the next pair of nice legs like I had been able to in the past. I was sure there would be no moving on from Marlena Ducate.
Maybe I should have put more effort into finding out what was going on with her. Maybe I shouldn’t have backed off so easily. The truth was, I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. If I pushed her, I was scared she’d shut me out completely. If I gave her the space she claimed to want, I was terrified she’d build a damn wall.
So, I was stuck in a paralysis where I couldn’t move at all.
It was the Friday before Christmas and I was heading over to Sweet Lila’s. The firm had booked the back room at the popular bar for our Christmas party. The partners and Lena would attend, of course, along with Whitney, but we’d also invited other local attorneys, the court clerks, the district attorney’s office, and a few police officers we had good relationships with. It was an opportunity to let loose and to maintain community relationships. We went all out, catering food and paying for an open bar. One thing was for sure, everyone would be getting loaded.
But I wasn’t feeling it. Normally I’d love any excuse to have a good time, but with Lena and I on the outs for reasons I didn’t quite understand, I wasn’t exactly in the partying mood.
“You heading straight to Lila’s?” Rob asked as I walked by his office at the end of the day.
“I guess,” I replied with a shrug.
“What’s with you? You’ve been walking around here for weeks as someone ran over your cat,” Rob observed, taking his glasses off. He was one of those people that always appeared older when he wore glasses. When he took them off, he looked like a teenager.
“Nothing’s going on with me,” I said, realizing how defensive I sounded.
Rob’s expression never changed. “Really? I’ve known you for years, Wyatt, and the way you’ve been acting can only be described as depressed. Something’s bothering you. Is it your mom?”
“No. Mom’s fine. Well, as fine as she can be.”
Rob sat back in his chair. “Then it has to do with a certain associate that looks equally miserable.”
I tried to laugh. It sounded as if I were being strangled. “Seriously, man, I think you’re reading into things that aren’t there.”
“Am I? Because I know you like to think the two of you were being sneaky, but the pheromones you were giving off could be smelled a mile away.” Rob rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “You’re more obvious than you think.”
Shit. If Rob had picked up on it, then what about Adam?
“Adam is too focused on Meg and work to notice what’s going on right under his nose. So, no need for a coronary,” Rob assured me dryly, picking up on my unspoken panic. “But please do me a favor and don’t treat me like an idiot.”
I sighed. Long and heavy. “Look, it wasn’t supposed to be anything—”
“Let me guess, that changed,” Rob cut in.
“Yeah, I suppose so.” This was awkward. Rob and I didn’t do heart to hearts. Hell, I didn’t do heart to hearts with anyone. Except for Marlena.
“So, you’re sleeping together,” Rob surmised.
“We were,” I corrected. It was finally out there. And a part of me felt good about it.
“Look, I don’t want a play by play or anything. Frankly, I’m not interested in your sex life. It’s not my business and I sure as hell don’t want to know about it. But man, it’s Lena. She’s not some random you can mess around with and discard. You work together, which is never a good idea. It was bad enough when you were screwing around with Sheila from the DA’s office. But Jer, this is Adam’s baby sister. What the hell were you thinking?” Rob looked slightly horrified, which was as bad as full-blown hysteria from a guy like him.
I ran my hands through my hair in agitation. “Thinking had very little to do with it,” I grumbled. “It doesn’t matter, Rob. It’s over. Done. She’s made it clear she’s finished with me.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t make it weird at all,” Rob muttered.
“Look,” I said, losing my patience, “I don’t want to talk about this. We were something, now we’re nothing. I won’t let this interfere with work. Why can’t people have more faith in me than that? Why does everyone jump to conclusions and think the worst? It’s not like I’m some horrible guy. Sure, my past is checkered, but people are capable of changing, you know,” I seethed. I realized I was venting and that my anger had nothing to do with Rob’s statement. I reined myself in. “Just don’t say anything to Adam, please. I don’t need that noise.”
