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I remembered she messaged me that morning after I had been with Marlena the first time, but I had never replied. I thought nothing of the fact that I hadn’t heard from her since.
Greta followed me and stood in the doorway of my living room, dressed like every man’s wet dream, and I didn’t even feel a stirring in my shorts. She wasn’t the woman I wanted.
“I can see that,” Greta remarked, giving me a once over. “You smell like you’ve been hanging out with the local winos all weekend. Have you showered today?” She wrinkled her nose.
I sat back down on the couch and grabbed my beer. “Yeah, well it’s not like I have anything else to do.”
Greta looked around my messy apartment. I wasn’t quite a neat freak, but I usually kept things tidy. I hadn’t bothered to clean up after myself in almost a week. Empty pizza boxes were piled on the table in the corner; beer bottles cluttered every surface, and the unmistakable scent of sweat and depression were rank in the air. “Jesus, Jer, this place reeks.”
“There’s a candle over there. Light it or something.” I waved a hand toward the mantle. “What are you doing here anyway? Why aren’t you with Josh?”
Greta’s face sobered instantly. “We broke up,” she told me.
I took another drink of my warm beer. “Ah, so you came over here for a rebound fuck.”
Greta fidgeted, pulling on the hem of her short skirt. “I figured you’d be up for it. You’ve never let me down before,” she giggled with a shrug.
“Well as you can see, I’m not much up to anything at the moment. And given how much I’ve had to drink today I doubt I’d get it up anyway. Even though you look pretty hot in that get-up. Was I supposed to be a schoolteacher and you the naughty girl?” I laughed, but it sounded forced and sad.
Greta sat down beside me on the couch. “You look like you could use a little distraction. Let Greta take care of you.” She slid the straps of her bustier down over her shoulders to expose her breasts.
At one time I would have had my mouth all over them. Back when I didn’t have the heart to break.
“Come on, baby. Touch me,” she cooed, picking up my hands and placing them on her boobs. She pressed herself into me, her skin soft beneath my palms. “You’ve always made me feel so good. Let me do the same for you.” She started kissing my neck, straddling my lap. I could feel her hot and warm against me.
Maybe I could forget. For one night, I could stop thinking about her…
I closed my eyes and tried to be in the moment. I made my lips move, but when Greta’s tongue entered my mouth, I recoiled. Lena’s face swam through my mind and I couldn’t do it. I’d never been able to be with anyone else.
I didn’t want to be.
“Stop it. I can’t.” I lifted her off me and set her down on the couch.
Greta sat beside me, perfectly still. She slowly slid the straps of her top back up over her shoulders. “Is it me?” she asked in a small voice and I felt like even more of a dick.
“No. It has nothing to do with you, Greta. You’re great. You always have been.” I tried to smile again and again failed miserably, so I gave up.
“You met someone,” Greta deduced, her voice shaking slightly.
I sighed. “Yes. I met someone.” My eyes started to burn. Jesus, I was losing my shit. “But she hates me. God, does she hate me.” I covered my face with my hands, not wanting to cry, but not able to stop myself. I was emotionally spent, and Greta happened to have a first-row seat to my breakdown.
I felt Greta’s hand on the back of my head, her fingers gently massaging me, not in a sexual way, but in a way that meant she was listening and supporting me. And damn, I needed that. I felt alone. So, fucking alone. I felt a torrent of emotion flood out of me. I didn’t think I was capable of it. I had been holding so much inside for so long, it was like the lowering of a dam.
“Tell me what’s going on, Jeremy. I’ve got nowhere to be but here,” she said softly.
I lifted my head, let out a shuddering breath and unloaded every glorious, awful moment of the past few months with Marlena. I told her how I had been drawn to Lena since the very beginning, but Adam made it clear that we were not to be together. That he didn’t trust me not to hurt his beloved baby sister. How we almost got together when she worked for us as a paralegal, but once again Adam nixed that before it started.
