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“I won’t see a doctor! I don’t want to. I wouldn’t go near a doctor.”
Evelyn looked sharply down into her face, then she took the girl’s hand in hers.
“You may be frightening yourself for nothing, Molly. You know there are all kinds of nervous disorders that aren’t really serious at all. A doctor would soon reassure you.”
“He mightn’t. He might say that there was something really wrong with me.”
“Why should there be anything wrong with you?”
“Because—” Molly spoke and then was silent “—no reason, I suppose,” she said.
“Couldn’t your family—haven’t you any family, any mother or sisters or someone who could come out here?”
“I don’t get on with my mother. I never have. I’ve got sisters. They’re married but I suppose—I suppose they could come if I wanted them. But I don’t want them. I don’t want anyone—anyone except Tim.”
“Does Tim know about this? Have you told him?”
“Not really,” said Molly. “But he’s anxious about me and he watches me. It’s as though he were trying to—to help me or to shield me. But if he does that it means I want shielding, doesn’t it?”
“I think a lot of it may be imagination but I still think you ought to see a doctor.”
“Old Dr. Graham? He wouldn’t be any good.”
“There are other doctors on the island.”
“It’s all right, really,” said Molly. “I just—mustn’t think of it. I expect, as you say, it’s all imagination. Good gracious, it’s getting frightfully late. I ought to be on duty now in the dining room. I—I must go back.”
She looked sharply and almost offensively at Evelyn Hillingdon, and then hurried off. Evelyn stared after her.
Twelve
OLD SINS CAST LONG SHADOWS
I
“I think as I am on to something, man.”
“What’s that you say, Victoria?”
“I think I’m on to something. It may mean money. Big money.”
“Now look, girl, you be careful, you’ll not tangle yourself up in something. Maybe I’d better tackle what it is.”
Victoria laughed, a deep rich chuckle.
“You wait and see,” she said. “I know how to play this hand. It’s money, man, it’s big money. Something I see, and something I guess. I think I guess right.”
And again the soft rich chuckle rolled out on the night.
II
“Evelyn….”
“Yes?”
Evelyn Hillingdon spoke mechanically, without interest. She did not look at her husband.
“Evelyn, would you mind if we chucked all this and went home to England?”
She had been combing her short dark hair. Now her hands came down from her head sharply. She turned towards him.
“You mean—but we’ve only just come. We’ve not been out here in the islands for more than three weeks.”
“I know. But—would you mind?”
Her eyes searched him incredulously.
“You really want to go back to England? Back home?”
“Yes.”
“Leaving—Lucky?”
He winced.
“You’ve known all the time, I suppose, that—that it was going on?”
“Pretty well. Yes.”
“You’ve never said anything.”
“Why should I? We had the whole thing out years ago. Neither of us wanted to make a break. So we agreed to go our separate ways—but keep up the show in public.” Then she added before he could speak, “But why are you so set on going back to England now?”
“Because I’m at breaking point. I can’t stick it any longer, Evelyn. I can’t.” The quiet Edward Hillingdon was transformed. His hands shook, he swallowed, his calm unemotional face seemed distorted by pain.
“For God’s sake, Edward, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing’s the matter except that I want to get out of here—”
“You fell wildly in love with Lucky. And now you’ve got over it. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Yes. I don’t suppose you’ll ever feel the same.”
“Oh let’s not go into that now! I want to understand what’s upsetting you so much, Edward.”
“I’m not particularly upset.”
“But you are. Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No, it isn’t,” said Evelyn. “Let’s put it in plain concrete terms. You’ve had an affair with a woman. That happens often enough. And now it’s over. Or isn’t it over? Perhaps it isn’t over on her side. Is that it? Does Greg know about it? I’ve often wondered.”
“I don’t know,” said Edward. “He’s never said anything. He always seems friendly enough.”
“Men can be extraordinarily obtuse,” said Evelyn thoughtfully. “Or else—Perhaps Greg has got an outside interest of his own!”
“He’s made passes at you, hasn’t he?” said Edward. “Answer me—I know he has—”
“Oh yes,” said Evelyn, carelessly, “but he makes passes at everyone. That’s just Greg. It doesn’t ever really mean much, I imagine. It’s just part of the Greg he-man act.”
“Do you care for him, Evelyn? I’d rather know the truth.”
“Greg? I’m quite fond of him—he amuses me. He’s a good friend.”
“And that’s all? I wish I could believe you.”
“I can’t really see how it can possibly matter to you,” said Evelyn dryly.
“I suppose I deserve that.”
Evelyn walked to the window, looked out across the veranda and came back again.
“I wish you would tell me what’s really upsetting you, Edward.”
“I’ve told you.”
“I wonder.”
“You can’t understand, I suppose, how extraordinary a temporary madness of this kind can seem to you after you’ve got over it.”
“I can try, I suppose. But what’s worrying me now is that Lucky seems to have got some kind of stranglehold upon you. She’s not just a discarded mistress. She’s a tigress with claws. You must tell me the truth, Edward. It’s the only way if you want me to stand by you.”
Edward said in a low voice: “If I don’t get away from her soon—I shall kill her.”
“Kill Lucky? Why?”
“Because of what she made me do….”
“What did she make you do?”
“I helped her to commit a murder—”
The words were out—There was silence—Evelyn stared at him.
“Do you know what you are saying?”
“Yes. I didn’t know I was doing it. There were things she asked me to get for her—at the chemist’s. I didn’t know—I hadn’t the least idea what she wanted them for—She got me to copy out a prescription she had….”
“When was this?”
“Four years ago. When we were in Martinique. When—when Greg’s wife—”
“You mean Greg’s first wife—Gail? You mean Lucky poisoned her?”
“Yes—and I helped her. When I realized—”
Evelyn interrupted him.
“When you realized what had happened, Lucky pointed out to you that you had written out the prescription, that you had got the drugs, that you and she were in it together? Is that right?”
“Yes. She said she had done it out of pity—that Gail was suffering—that she had begged Lucky to get something that would end it all.”
“A mercy killing! I see. And you believed that?”
Edward Hillingdon was silent a moment—then he said:
“No—I didn’t really—not deep down—I accepted it because I wanted to believe it—because I was infatuated with Lucky.”
“And afterwards—when she married Greg—did you still believe it?”
“I’d made myself believe it by then.”
“And Greg—how much did he know about it all?”
“Nothing at all.”
“That I find hard to believe!”
Edward Hillingdon broke out—
“Evelyn, I’ve got to get free of it all! That woman taunts me still with what I did. She knows I don’t care for her any longer. Care for her?—I’ve come to hate her—But she makes me feel I’m tied to her—by the thing we did together—”
Evelyn walked up and down the room—then she stopped and faced him.
