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Moving to the edge of his bed, I sit down, away from him and start, “I’ve been here forever. This has been my home since I was just a baby. Father Robert took me in and I knew my life would always be this church.”
“Were you forced into becoming a nun?” He actually sounds concerned.
“No. Absolutely not. In fact, Father Robert tried to talk me out of it multiple times. He thought I was only doing it to make him happy. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve gone up to my room to find college brochures there. He just wants me to be happy. And I am. But for a while there, I was really confused about what I wanted.”
I don’t know how to explain it any other way than just telling it straight. “You see, when I was sixteen, I started seeing a guy. An older guy. He was a bad guy.” I swallow hard as I think about James and try to tell my story in a vague way, hiding most of the details. “I was young and thought I knew what love was. I hid my relationship from everyone because it’s forbidden for a training nun, and I convinced myself that he was it.”
After a moments silence, Xavier prompts, “What happened?”
“Father Robert found out.” I chuckle humourlessly and scratch absently at my chest. “It was fucked. Beyond fucked. I was in a lot of trouble. Years of trust flew out the door. Everyone was so disappointed in me.” My voice turns to a hush. “I hated myself.”
Xavier sits up straighter. That definitely got his attention. “What happened to the guy?”
What happened to the guy?
My mind takes me back to that day.
James pulls me closer to him, his warm lips brush over mine and my knees weaken. I’m so in love with this man. I would do anything for him.
Anything.
“I love you, Cat.” I smile against his lips. He smiles, too, and then whispers, “I’m gonna marry you one day.”
My stomach dips. I’m so happy I could burst.
He wraps his arms tighter around my waist and pulls me deeper into his lap. I feel the thickness of his erection right up against my most private place and sigh. I’m so wet. I want more but James won’t let me.
He says it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen and we have no need to rush. We’ll be together forever. We have a lifetime of lovemaking ahead of us. And it’s going to be amazing.
We’re becoming more and more desperate to see each other. Tonight, James has become so desperate that he’s snuck into the church grounds, behind the building by the kitchen’s entrance. We sit on the bench under the oak and kiss furiously. Frantically. As if this will be the last time we see each other.
Who knew it would be the last time?
Ironic, huh?
I bite the inside of my cheek. My heart pounds. I try something I’ve never done before.
Reaching between us, I gently stroke his hard length over his jeans.
His mouth parts, his hazel eyes close and he mutters, “Oh, baby.”
That being all the encouragement I need, I become braver. My strokes become bolder, albeit jerky, but he seems to be enjoying what I want to give.
He runs a hand through his constantly chaotic light brown hair and lies back on the bench, allowing me better access. I stroke slowly but firmly. He lets me explore on my own a while before he places his hand over mine and grips himself so tightly I’m sure it must hurt him. He groans and bucks into our hands. His pace quickens as does his breathing, and just when I’m sure he’s going to fall apart, I’m startled at the sound of someone behind us.
A growl, “Cat, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? What’s he doing here?”
Bob.
My heart pounds. I know I’ve fucked up. Badly.
I jump off of James and he moves to stand too. He looks Bob in the eye and tells him, “I love her. I can’t help it. She loves me too. We’re gonna get married as soon as we can.”
Bob glares at him. “Of course you love her. Every person that meets Cat falls in love with her.” He sneers, “She’s everything you’re not. You don’t belong together. You’ll corrupt her. Then when you turn her into everything you hate, you’ll leave and blame it on her too.”
James shakes his head. “No. It’s not like that. I really love her.”
I stupidly add, “I love him, Bob.”
Bob ignores James and looks down at me like he doesn’t know me. “You don’t know what you’re saying. He’s a fucking criminal, Cat.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I don’t fucking believe this. How long has this been going on?” Before I have a chance to answer, he places his hands up in front of him. “Don’t answer that.” He looks at me stone-faced. “This ends. Tonight.”
My heart stops. “No.”
Bob’s jaw tics. “You listen to me, girl. You end it.”
James steps forward. “Father Robert, I know this sounds crazy but—”
Bob booms, “If you know what’s good for you, boy, you’ll shut the fuck up. Right now.”
James stops talking.
Bob utters in warning. “I’m serious, Cat. This is done. Finished.”
The thought of losing James is enough to make me ill. I stand straighter and respond shakily, “No. I won’t.”
Bob stares at me for a few seconds before he mutters, “You think I’m not serious?” He steps closer to James. “How’s this for serious?”
Bob pulls out his .357 magnum from behind him, aims it a hair’s breadth away from James’s forehead and pulls the trigger.
The shot echoes throughout the distance. Something warm splatters my face.
I gasp in shock as James falls to the ground, motionless.
My mind blank, eyes tearing, body trembling, I whisper, “No.”
Bob stands there, looking down at James, huffing and puffing from adrenaline.
This is just a dream. I’ll wake up any moment and see this was all just a dream.
“No.” I look up at Bob and wail, “No! No, no, no, no.”
I drop to the ground and kneel by James. There’s a hole in his forehead and his eyes are open. He bites his tongue. His head lolls.
He’s very much dead.
Not able to stand it, I let out a keening cry so pained I think that God himself hears me. I cry in hurt and heartache. I cry til I’m numb.
I feel Bob behind me. His hand touches my shoulder but I shrug him off. “I hate you! I fucking hate you!”
Bob stands back, allowing me distance. He stays quiet a long time, listening to me cry, before he tells me something I didn’t know. “He wasn’t just a drug dealer, Cat. He was selling women. Not just women but teenagers, close to your age. You know what his position was?”
But I don’t answer. I don’t want to know. Still kneeling, head dipped, my body shakes in silent sobs.
“He would break them
in.”
I don’t know what that means. Bob obviously knows this so he explains, “His job was to have sex with them, sweetie. He would rape them until they wouldn’t fight back, then they’d be sold. I’m sure you don’t want to hear it but I need you to know this. Whenever they fought back, he would beat the shit out of them. Beat them within an inch of their lives. Before you ask, I have evidence of this. A lot of photographic evidence.” I cry harder. Bob utters, “He deserved to die, Cat.”
The tears won’t stop. I find it hard to breathe.
Before I can register what’s happening, everything fades to black.
I blink away tears, look at Xavier and whisper, “He screwed with some dangerous people and got himself killed.”
Xavier nods. We sit in a comfortable silence. He takes a sweet pastry out of the basket and hands it to me.
I lift my head and smile softly.
As he takes a bite of a croissant, he smiles back.
I nibble on my tart and think:
Aren’t we a pair?
Maybe Xavier and I have more in common that I thought.
Chapter Eleven
Huff-puff-pant.
The long thin stick in my hands feels heavier by the second. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. For an old guy, Bob has the stamina of a twenty year old.
Just my luck.
Although he pants, he holds the stick in one hand, circling me. He smirks. My eyes narrow and I want to wipe that smirk off his face using as much force as necessary. So I do.
Lifting my hand, I swing the stick down over my head so fast that I hear the whoosh of the wind as it cuts through it. Bob moves fast, but not fast enough. The stick comes down on his shoulder and he winces. If it were anyone else, an unprepared person, that shot could have been a kill shot.
I smirk back and then stick out my tongue. His body shakes in silent chuckles. He kneels as though catching his breath but the long stick he holds spins out and catches the back of my calf.
