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“I just assumed you’d have something for that,” she said.
She stood slouched against the wall, exhausted. She was amazed she’d been allowed into Nezha’s cabin, but Jinzha had only given her a tight nod on his way out.
Nezha lay still on the bed between them. He looked awful, paler than death, but he was breathing steadily. Every rise and fall of his chest gave Rin a small jolt of relief.
“Lucky we had the drug on hand,” said Dr. Sien. “How did you know?”
“Know what?” Rin asked cautiously. Did Dr. Sien know that Nezha was a shaman? Did anyone? Jinzha had seemed utterly confused. Was Nezha’s secret his alone?
“To give him opium,” Dr. Sien said.
That told her nothing. She hazarded a half truth in response. “I’ve seen this illness before.”
“Where?” he asked curiously.
“Um.” Rin shrugged. “You know. Down in the south. Opium’s a common remedy for it there.”
Doctor Sien looked somewhat disappointed. “I have treated the sons of the Dragon Warlord since they were babies. They have never told me anything about Nezha’s particular ailment, only that he often feels pain, and that opium is the only way to calm him. I don’t know if Vaisra and Saikhara know the cause themselves.”
Rin looked down at Nezha’s sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. She had the oddest urge to brush the hair back from his forehead. “How long has he been sick?”
“He began having seizures when he was twelve. They’ve become less frequent as he’s gotten older, but this one was the worst I’ve seen in years.”
Has Nezha been a shaman since he was a child? Rin wondered. How had he never told her? Did he not trust her?
“He’s in the clear now,” said Dr. Sien. “The only thing he’ll need is sleep. You don’t have to stay.”
“It’s all right. I’ll wait.”
He looked uncomfortable. “I don’t think General Jinzha—”
“Jinzha knows I just saved his brother’s life. He’ll permit it, and he’s an ass if he doesn’t.”
Dr. Sien didn’t argue. After he closed the door behind him, Rin curled up on the floor next to Nezha’s bed and closed her eyes.
Hours later she heard him stirring. She sat up, rubbed the grime from her eyes, and knelt next to him. “Nezha?”
“Hmm.” He blinked at the ceiling, trying to make sense of his surroundings.
She touched the back of her finger to his left cheek. His skin was much softer than she had thought it would be. His scars were not raised bumps like she’d expected, but rather smooth lines running across his skin like tattoos.
His eyes had returned to their normal, lovely brown. Rin couldn’t help noticing how long his lashes were; they were so dark and heavy, thicker even than Venka’s. It’s not fair, she thought. He’d always been much prettier than anyone had the right to be.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
Nezha blinked several times and slurred something that didn’t sound like words.
She tried again. “Do you know what’s going on?”
His eyes darted around the room for a while, and then focused on her face with some difficulty. “Yes.”
She couldn’t hold back her questions any longer. “Do you understand what just happened? Why didn’t you tell me?”
All Nezha did was blink.
She leaned forward, heart pounding. “I could have helped you. Or—or you could have helped me. You should have told me.”
His breathing started to quicken.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked again.
He mumbled something unintelligible. His eyelids fluttered shut.
She nearly shook him by the collar, she was so desperate for answers.
She took a deep breath. Stop it. Nezha was in no state to be interrogated now.
She could force him to talk. If she pressed harder, if she yelled at him to give her the truth, then he might tell her everything.
That would be a secret revealed under opium, however, and she would have coerced him when he was in no state to refuse.
Would he hate her for it?
He was only half-conscious. He might not even remember.
She swallowed down a sudden wave of revulsion. No—no, she wouldn’t do that to him. She couldn’t. She’d have to get her answers another way. Now was not the time. She stood up.
His eyes opened again. “Where are you going?”
“I should let you rest,” she said.
He shifted in his bed. “No . . . don’t go . . .”
She paused at the door.
“Please,” he said. “Stay.”
“All right,” she said, and returned to his side. She took his hand in hers. “I’m right here.”
“What’s happening to me?” he murmured.
She squeezed his fingers. “Just close your eyes, Nezha. Go back to sleep.”
The remains of the fleet sat stuck in a cove for the next three days. Half the troops had to be treated for burn wounds, and the repulsive smell of rotting flesh became so pervasive that the men took to wrapping cloth around their faces, covering everything except their eyes. Eventually Jinzha had made the decision to administer morphine and medicine only to the men who had a decent chance of survival. The rest were rolled into the mud, facedown, until they stopped moving.
They didn’t have time to bury their dead so they dragged them into piles interlaced with parts of irreparable ships to form funeral pyres and set them on fire.
“How strategic,” Kitay said. “Don’t need the Empire getting hold of good ship wood.”
“Do you have to be like this?” Rin asked.
“Just complimenting Jinzha.”
Sister Petra stood before the burning corpses and gave an entire funeral benediction in her fluent, toneless Nikara while soldiers stood around her in a curious circle.
“In life you suffered in a world wreaked by Chaos, but you have offered your souls to a beautiful cause,” she said. “You died creating order in a land bereft of it. Now you rest. I pray your Maker will take mercy on your souls. I pray that you will come to know the depths of his love, all-encompassing and unconditional.”
She then began chanting in a language that Rin didn’t recognize. It seemed similar to Hesperian—she could almost recognize the roots of words before they took on an entirely different shape—but this seemed something more ancient, something weighted down with centuries of history and religious purpose.
“Where do your people think souls go when they die?” Rin murmured quietly to Augus.
He looked surprised she had even asked. “To the realm of the Maker, of course. Where do your people think they go?”
“Nowhere,” she said. “We disappear back to nothing.”
The Nikara spoke of the underworld sometimes, but that was more a folk story than a true belief. No one really imagined they might end up anywhere but in darkness.
“That’s impossible,” Augus said. “The Maker creates our souls to be permanent. Even barbarians’ souls have value. When we die, he refines them and brings them to his realm.”
Rin couldn’t help her curiosity. “What is that realm like?”
