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I did. “Remember that red dress, the one that gave me the perfect hourglass shape?” She nodded with a subtle grin because it was Mara who’d finally convinced me to buy it. “I wore that with sexy heels that showed off the strength in my calves, my hair was set in sexy waves that any man would have wanted to run his fingers through. Sage, the hot lumberjack bartender practically drooled at the sight of me.”
Mara nodded and sipped her beer. “Sounds good so far.”
“Yeah well, then I spotted Ben and I didn’t think anything of it, you know? I figured he was meeting someone for dinner, at least until I spotted the tulips on the table, just as Sophie said they would be. The look on his face, Mara, god it was so bad! It was like, utter disappointment. Like he’d been set up on a date with his mother!” I couldn’t even stop thinking about the burn of humiliation, let alone stop the feeling from heating my whole body in embarrassment. “You know, I think you have it right with opting out of dating altogether.” It was easy to say you weren’t ready to give up when you still had a sliver of hope left, which I did. But that little sliver was nothing compared to the white-hot sting of embarrassment.
Mara scoffed at me, her expression incredulous. “After one bad date? Is that what you teach your soccer girls, to give up on soccer forever after one missed pass or kick?”
I blinked at her words and her tone. “Well, no. Obviously.”
“Ah, I got it. You only quit when it comes to your life?” I glared at the question, but Mara arched a brow at me. “You gave up on your brothers and now you’re giving up on yourself.”
I finished my beer and ordered another from a passing waitress. “And two shots of tequila, please.” I turned back to Mara. “That’s rich coming from you.”
“The difference is that I have my reasons, which we are not talking about right now. Just know that it wasn’t a decision I came to lightly.” Curiosity to know exactly what had happened weighed heavy on me, but I knew Mara wouldn’t talk until she was ready. “We’re talking about you, giving up after one bad date.”
“It wasn’t even a date, Mara, it didn’t get that far. On account of him being totally grossed out by me.”
“Grossed out? Seriously?”
I nodded. “Yes, there’s no other way to put it. He gave me some song and dance about not dating employees, blah, blah, but I know an excuse when I hear one. I’ve given out a few over the years.”
“Maybe it’s the truth, I mean what are the odds that you two were matched at all?” She shrugged again. “Maybe it means something?”
“Yeah, it means Sophie’s algorithm is broken.” That was the only explanation. Right?
She laughed and shook her head. “Or maybe it means that there’s something there.”
“You don’t believe that.” Mara was far too cynical to believe in things like ‘the one’ or any such nonsense.
“Doesn’t matter what I believe,” she said just as the waitress returned with more drinks. Mara lifted her shot glass and smiled wide. “It only matters what you believe.”
I lifted my shot for a quick moment and then poured the icy liquid down my throat until it warmed me from the inside out. “I believe that it’s time for me to accept the truth, I’m not the kind of woman who inspires lust or whatever, in men.”
Mara shook her head and slammed her shot glass on the table. “Then I believe you should go out on another date, with a man who isn’t Ben.” She whispered his name, and I flashed a grateful smile at her discretion.
“That’s a terrible idea, Mara. You’re supposed to welcome me to the dark side, tell me how great it is to orgasm every single time thanks to high powered batteries, to only shave when I feel like it, or to spend all weekend in my jammies.”
“First, that sounds lonely and pathetic. Second, that’s not my life.”
“Okay fine, but that sounds pretty great to me.” Did that mean I was destined to become a cat-less cat lady? More importantly, what did it say about me that I wasn’t bothered by it?
“Fine, that’s your backup plan, okay? But you have to try again, or else you’ll always wonder if you gave up too soon.”
“Do you?”
“Sometimes, sure, but I’m confident in my decision. I dated enough after that to know I made the right decision. But if I change my mind, then I can. And I will.” Now it was Mara’s turn to order another round of drinks to forget about the past she kept to herself.
“Hello, ladies.” I recognized the smooth deep voice of Pilgrim’s head law officer without even looking up.
