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“Xander,” Mara groaned.
“Can we join you?”
I almost said sure, but Mara jumped in first. “Nope. We’re having a private conversation so, go find your own table.” I wondered if she and Xander had a past the rest of us didn’t know about, but that curiosity died when I finally looked up to see who stood beside him.
Ben. Principal Rutherford.
“She’s right. We’re having a private conversation.” Xander’s smile dimmed just a fraction and I focused on that, on him and not on the person next to him, the reason for my own humiliation.
“Sorry to intrude, then.” His gaze lingered on Mara for a long moment before he took a step back. “Come on, Ben.”
Unable, or unwilling to read the room, Ben took a step forward, his green eyes filled with guilt, which was the last thing I needed. “We should talk, Joss.”
I shook my head like a petty little girl, but I had enough alcohol in me to not care as much as Sober Joss would care. “No, we shouldn’t. This is my off time and you’re not my boss here, so we have nothing to talk about.”
“Come on, Joss. I just want to apologize.”
I shook my head again. “I already told you that I don’t need, or want, your apology. Just go find someone more suitable and leave me alone.” I glared at Ben, not out of anger, but more out of a need to get him to get the hell away from me and end my embarrassment. “Please, just go.”
Our waitress had excellent timing, sliding between the men and our table with another round of shots and two bottles of beer. “Not a moment too soon,” Mara growled and raised her glass with a smile. “To not letting the past get in the way of a good time.”
I knew what she was doing and I was grateful. “I’ll cheers to that!” Things grew a little fuzzy after that shot, but I was fine with it since tomorrow wasn’t a work day, not technically, just a few staff meetings which meant I didn’t have to dress up or be alert. Just present.
Maybe that was the goal I needed to aim for, just being present without worrying about past humiliations and rejections or anticipating future ones.
I didn’t know if it was a good plan or a bad plan, but it was certainly better than wallowing.
Ben
I loved being at the high school when it was empty. Things were quiet and peaceful. Two things no high school ever was, except on days like today when the students were free to stay out late and sleep in, while the teaching staff spent half a day in meetings. In-service days were a necessary evil for educators since it was impossible to schedule staff-wide meetings during the school day.
The staff didn’t appreciate the early mornings for in-service days, but I knew they did appreciate having the rest of the day free, so I refused to change the time, no matter how much they complained. I’d spent ninety minutes in silence going over my notes and catching up on all the tasks that often get re-prioritized as more pressing matters rose to the surface, and before I knew it, my eight-thirty alarm chimed.
Since the school was empty, we used the cafeteria for these meetings that always included some kind of snack, a thought that had me on my feet as my stomach rumbled with hunger. I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast, I knew that. But too much time alone gave me too much time to think about Joss’ reaction to me last night, and every time I’ve seen her since our date that never rose to the level of being an actual date.
I knew I had to find a way to get her to forgive me, if for no other reason than we had to work together and I preferred to have a good working relationship with my staff as much as possible. But that wasn’t the only reason. I missed those smiles she used to save just for me, the way her blue eyes lit up whenever she looked in my direction. I felt like a hero in her eyes, something that was seriously lacking in my life.
“Smells amazing in here.” The parking lot wasn’t empty, but with five minutes to spare, I knew the teachers gathered somewhere to talk before the work day officially began.
“Everything from Bread Box smells amazing,” a familiar voice said without a hint of emotion.
Joss. “Where’s Martha?”
“Some kind of stomach issue with Herb, so she asked me to pick up the pastries.” She kept busy setting out donuts, bagels and muffins first, and then napkins and coffee. “There are no coffee sticks. Or creamer.”
I waited a beat, hoping she would turn around and, at least, give me an angry look. But all I got was a big fat nothing. “I’ll go get them.”
