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Joss said nothing in response to that, and she remained mostly silent as the rest of the staff filtered into the cafeteria, and the meeting began. I didn’t like this version of Joss, so quiet and subdued, so stingy with her smiles and big blue gaze. Nothing I said or did drew her gaze to me and I knew she avoided meeting my eyes on purpose.
Out of anger or hurt, I didn’t know, but it didn’t matter because the effect was the same.
But I wasn’t a quitter, and I knew I needed to find some way to get her to talk to me long enough to accept my apology. “The parent teacher conferences are coming up soon, any volunteers to help organize it?” Pilgrim was too small for an organized Parent Teachers Association, so we relied mostly on volunteers, something Joss had proven herself willing to do since she arrived.
I looked around the room expectantly and found most gazes diverted, which I expected, but I Joss’ gaze was unexpectedly diverted as well. Crap.
“I’ll do it,” the Dean of students, Matt Letterman smiled beside his girlfriend, the Lit teacher.
“Me too, I guess.” Lara flashed a look of love up at Matt and smiled sweetly. “We can do a late dinner when it’s all over.”
“Sounds perfect,” he said and leaned in for a quick kiss that sent a round of groans up from the group.
I couldn’t agree more, but I kept my opinion to myself because my staff was free to date whomever they wanted, as long as it didn’t interfere with the job.
“Great, thanks. If anyone else wants to sign up, you know where to find me.” I had a feeling Joss wouldn’t be finding me anytime soon, so I made a note to find her after the meeting was over. Most teachers would spend an hour or two going over the lesson plans for the next semester or planning final exams, so they could leave work behind when the day was over.
Thinking I might find Joss in her classroom, I hurried with a bit more energy in my step, thanks to the sugar high from three donuts and one banana macadamia nut muffin. I didn’t need to open the door to know she wasn’t there. The lights were off and the door was locked.
Message received.
Joss
“Joss, did we have an appointment today?”
Eva strolled into the reception area, looking gorgeous in a figure-hugging black dress with fire engine red stilettos and matching lips.
I stood from the chair, ignoring my own outfit which was nothing more than jeans and a half-attempt at looking like a woman in a soft pink sweater that I was pretty sure made my pale skin look like death warmed over. “No, but my last hour of the day is my free period and I wanted to stop by to talk to you.”
“Uh oh, I know that tone, and I know I’m not going to like it. Come on, tell me what’s wrong.” Eva turned on her heels and sauntered down the hall before she disappeared into her office, just ahead of me.
“Nothing is wrong, but I’ve changed my mind about my search for love and all that.” I could have sounded more confident, but I wasn’t feeling it, and I just wanted to get the conversation over with as soon as possible so I could go home and curl up on the sofa. “So, I won’t be needing your services any longer.”
“This has to do with your date with Ben.” Sophie’s voice sounded behind me, startling me with her words.
I shook my head, hoping my face didn’t give away my emotions. “No, it doesn’t have anything to do with that.” It was more that Ben’s reaction had obliterated any confidence I had about dating in the first place, and I needed time to get back to that place before I would be ready again.
“I’m so sorry Joss.” Eva’s dark brows dipped in concern. “He didn’t tell us until after the date that he didn’t want to be matched with any of the people who worked for him.” After the fact was just a kind way of rejecting me without saying it flat out, but I kept my expression neutral so they wouldn’t know how much it had bothered me.
I shrugged it off like it didn’t matter. “It’s all right, no apology necessary. But I’ve just decided that I’m not ready for forever. Not yet.” Or ever, but I kept that bit to myself.
“No one is ready for forever until it’s thrust in their face.” Sophie took the chair beside me, her gaze bouncing from me to where Eva sat behind her desk, concern knitting her brows. “Look at me, I almost lost my best friend because I wasn’t ready to admit how I felt about him.”
“Exactly,” Eva added. “I didn’t think I would fall for a man whose entire job go against everything I believe in, but we’re getting married. Soon.”
