“Hello?”
“Reed,” I gasped. “Thank God.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, sending the urgency in my tone. “Is everything all right? Is Jenna all right?”
“I… no,” I said, and my voice shook violently. “Reed… she has a severe case of pneumonia. I’m at the hospital with her now and the doctor… they want to do a thoracotomy.”
There was a split second of dead silence on the other line, and then Reed’s came through loud and clear and panicked to the bone. “That’s major surgery.”
“Which is why they need parental consent. You need to sign off on it, otherwise, they won’t be able to save her.”
“Save her,” Reed repeated, like the possibility that Jenna could lose her life hadn’t even crossed his mind.
“I… I…” Reed stumbled through his first few words, then suddenly it was like a switch turned on in his head, and he was in father mode, and he didn’t have time to falter. “I’ll get the first flight back to New York, but first, I need to speak to the doctor… now.”
I turned to Doctor Farris and handed her the phone. I tried not to listen to her side of the conversation, but snippets of it still got through. She was explaining the procedure to Reed. She was explaining how she was going to need to cut into Jenna’s chest wall in order to get to her lungs.
I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes and it was suddenly beyond me how Jenna had managed to fall so sick and I hadn’t realized it sooner. I had relied on two doctors who had barely listened to me as I tried to explain all her symptoms to them. If I had trusted my instincts sooner, I could have got Jenna to the hospital before the pneumonia had gone into an advanced case.
“Excuse me… Taylor?”
I turned to Doctor Farris. “Yes, Doctor?”
“We have parental consent.” The doctor nodded, handing me my phone back. “We’re going to take Jenna in now and prep her for surgery.”
The word surgery almost sent me over the edge. It was so… daunting, so terrifying that I thought I would collapse from the weight of that one word alone. I nodded and walked over to Jenna. She looked drawn and tired, and she had abandoned the toys. They were lying at her feet, and she was looking at me as though she wished she were at home in her bed.
“Sweetheart, the doctors are going to take you into a room now, and they’re going to make you better, okay?”
Jenna frowned. “Can’t you come with me?”
I turned to Doctor Farris. “She’s only four, Doctor,” I said pleadingly. “Can’t I stay with her?”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”
“Just until she’s under,” I begged.
The doctor stared at me for a second and then nodded. “Okay.”
I picked Jenna up and followed the doctor into the surgical unit of the hospital. I had to scrub in before entering the operating theatre, but I had Jenna in my line of sight the whole time. Seeing her in the hospital dressing gown nearly broke my heart. She looked so small and fragile, and now a team of doctors was about to cut into her little chest.
When Jenna was lying flat on the operating table, I saw fear blossom in her eyes, and I realized she knew something serious was about to happen.
“Taylor,” was all she said.
I held her hand tight and put my face close to hers. “Listen to me; everything is going to be all right. I’m here, my darling. Just close your eyes and dream sweet dreams.”
The moment Jenna’s eyes closed, I started to sing and then a doctor tapped me on the shoulder.
“She’s under,” the doctor told me. “We need to start now.”
I cleared out and removed the scrubs I had been given. Then I was shown back to the waiting room, and I sat down and tried to resist the urge to scream. I couldn’t imagine going through this as a parent. But then I assumed the feeling was pretty similar. I felt like Jenna’s parent at that moment, and I felt the fear of loss keenly.
It was only later that I remembered to check my phone. I had eleven missed calls from Reed, and I called him back immediately. But this time… he didn’t answer.