Page 37 of The Billionaire's Virgin

Chapter Twelve

Taylor

The guilt felt like it would crush me to death. There was no feeling quite as crippling, and I felt powerless and isolated. But to hear Reed pile on and accuse me of purposefully harming Jenna… it was more than I thought I could bear.

His words had cut deep, so it was odd that I could barely remember exactly what he had said to me. All I was left with was the deep and painful sting of hurt. I had stood outside Jenna’s room door for five whole minutes wondering why I wasn’t just walking away like Reed had instructed me to. I was fired. I had no connection to Jenna or him any longer. I was no longer obligated to stay. And yet… I found myself unable to go back home.

Realizing that Reed would probably have a conniption if he opened the door and found me still standing there, I walked down the hall and made a sharp right. I walked around aimlessly until I realized that I wasn’t willing to leave the hospital at all. I couldn’t just leave Jenna. I needed to know she was really going to be all right and for that, I needed to see her sit up and smile and talk.

I ended up in the cafeteria and considering how late it was, the sprawling area was practically empty. There was something hauntingly sad about hospitals at lonely times of the day. It made you reflect on your own life. Most people came into the world in the hospital, and most people went out of the world in them too. The entire circle of life was lived within this one contained space. There was something almost poetic about it if it hadn’t been so very… morbid.

I sat down at a table and put my head in my hands for a moment. Everything felt so heavy all of a sudden: my head, my limbs… my heart.

I was forced to come to terms with the glaring truth. My feelings for Reed had become much more than a fledgling crush. They had developed into serious feelings: the kind that kept you up at night. It was more complicated because I also happened to love his daughter. Jenna wasn’t just a job to me. She was this beautiful, interesting, curious little girl who had introduced me to a part of myself I had been unaware of up until now.

I thought about the way that Reed had dismissed me from his life. He had done it so easily, so thoughtlessly. And he hadn’t even given me the chance to offer up an explanation. I could understand his pain and his worry given the state he had found his daughter in, but his decision to fire me without hearing my side of the story was… cruel and unfair.

I looked back on my life and thought about the long string of failed relationships I had to show for it, starting with my familial ones. My father had left the moment he heard of my existence. My mother had spent her whole life rejecting and dismissing me. My stepfather had only ever been interested in me when he wanted to abuse and bully.

I had spent my late teens and my early adulthood going through a string of relationships that only ever lasted a few months and dissolved quickly and messily. Was I the problem then? Was I the reason people kept trying to expel me from their lives? Maybe at some point I needed to stop looking at everyone else and start looking inwards.

“Taylor?”

I looked up with a start and realized that Reed’s business partner was standing over me. “Jennifer,” I said.

“May I sit down for a moment?” she asked politely.

I had met her only a few hours ago when she had shown up on Reed’s orders to be with Jenna on his behalf. She had been a little cold at first, but I had explained what had happened. The doctor had spoken to her as well and after that Jennifer must have seen how stressed and worried I was; she warmed up and started talking to me a little more freely.

Her presence had been a comfort to me as we’d sat together waiting for Jenna to come out of surgery. And when she had been wheeled into intensive care and the doctor had assured us that everything had gone smoothly and Jenna was recover in no time, I had turned to Jennifer and hugged her as though I’d known her my whole life.

“Are you okay?” Jennifer asked me.

“Sure,” I replied immediately, without thinking about my answer.

“Because to be honest, and I mean no offense when I say this, you look awful.”

I almost smiled. “Maybe I am a little tired.”

Jennifer reached into her bag and pulled out a tissue. “Why don’t you wipe away those tears?” she suggested. “Otherwise they’re going to be permanently imprinted on your face.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I’ve been a blubbering mess this whole time, haven’t I?”

“You were scared, I get it,” Jennifer said.

“I should have brought her in sooner,” I said, with regret.

“How were you to know that Jenna had pneumonia?” Jennifer asked. “You spoke to two different doctors, and neither one made an accurate diagnosis. If anything, it was their fault, not yours.”

I sighed. “But I saw how unconcerned they were the moment they came to the apartment. Once they knew the nanny had called them in, their interest disappeared immediately, and they just wanted to get out of there as fast as they could. I should have just taken her to the hospital. But I ignored my instincts, and this is the result.”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Taylor,” Jennifer said. “I spoke to the doctor. She told me that had you waited another day to bring her in, there was very little they could have done. The fact that you acted when you did saved Jenna’s life. I know that and trust me… Reed will know that too.”

Even the sound of his name hurt me. “I don’t think Reed wants anything more to do with me after this,” I said.

“He’s just upset, obviously,” Jennifer said. “Once he calms down, then I’ll be able to talk to him and tell him what really happened. I told him a long time ago that house doctors were a bad idea. I never liked the look of that tall bearded one anyway.”

“You’ve met Doctor Mueller then?”