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He met her eyes. "Even if I'm deep in my head, I still need you, Julie. That's how I knew when I fell in love with you. For the first time in my life I need someone so much I can't turn it off and convince myself otherwise."
She slid her arms around his neck, holding him close and turning her head to his mouth, offering him a marvelously predictable hot, toe-curling kiss. He quickly took over, fist in her hair and in the back of her shirt, finding bare flesh beneath it and telegraphing his desire. They'd need to find somewhere private really soon.
"Good answer," she said against his lips.
Chapter Twenty
Marcus leaned against the wall, watching the nurse flutter around his lover, doing her job while blushing and smiling at Thomas's uncalculated charm. His sexy, slow smile, the way he called all women ma'am, how he tried to accommodate her while she was trying to do the pre-surgery prep, were all part of what Marcus found appealing about him.
Yet there were far, far deeper and broader things that bound the two of them together. During the time Thomas had left him to care for his family, during the struggle to reconcile their own needs with that, Marcus's gut had ached for everything they could be to one another, a chance they'd
had for far too brief a period.
Now past the worst of those challenges, the two of them were married and Thomas's art career was in full swing. Yet Marcus felt like he'd experienced only the tip of the iceberg of how deep their bonds went. He loved his farm boy more every day, a condition only exacerbated by Thomas feeling the same way.
His initial reaction to Thomas's decision to give his cousin a kidney had been no, no and oh hell no. He was the selfish one. He knew that and didn't apologize for it. But he'd learned it didn't matter who he was to Thomas as Master or husband, friend or lover, there was an inviolate area of choice that belonged to Thomas alone. It was an essential part of who he was, and as much a part of what Marcus loved about him as anything else. Goddamn it.
Marcus knew he was a prick for wishing he hadn't visited Des to give him the option, persuading him toward this. But fuck, he loved Julie, and Thomas had asked him to do it.
"You're good at convincing people to do things they think they'd never do," his pet had said, his brown eyes knowing and understanding Marcus's dilemma, but trapping his conscience in a corner on it regardless. He'd make Thomas pay for that later in a variety of ways. There would be a later. He wasn't going to be a drama queen about this. Thomas would never let him live it down.
Almost no one who donated a kidney died during the surgery. Very few had any complications afterward, and Thomas was strong and healthy as a draft horse, especially now that they'd gotten on top of that ulcer he'd developed some time ago.
As the nurse took her leave, Thomas's doe-brown eyes came back to him. "You look like a glowering statue over there," he observed. "Or a stick of dynamite about to go off. Not sure which."
"I'm missing a whole day of work for this. And don't get me started on how far behind you'll be on those three pieces you owe me for the San Francisco show."
"You don't care about any of that." Thomas held out a hand. "Come sit on the bed with me."
"There are many things I want to do on a bed with you. Sitting is not the first one that comes to mind."
"It's the hospital gown, isn't it? The way the pale color leeches all the pigment out of my skin and how the sack-like shape and gap in the back show off my ass. It makes me irresistible."
Marcus came and sat on the bed, bracing his ankle on his opposite knee. Thomas's hand fell naturally on his thigh and their fingers laced. "Your mom should be here soon with Rory," Marcus said.
"Yeah, he'll take any opportunity to drive, now that he has the hand-controlled van. I told you that we should have called them afterwards, or just waited and brought it up at Easter dinner. 'Hey, I did two gallery showings and we visited Monterey. Here are the pictures. Oh, and by the way, I donated a kidney to Julie's soulmate.'"
Marcus arched a brow. "Under normal circumstances, I have zero fear of your mother. Telling her we didn't give her so much as a heads up before they put you on a table, cut you open and took a major organ out..."
He cut himself off when a mortifying and terrifyingly strong wave of emotion hit him. He was squeezing Thomas's hand so hard he was likely going to break it. "I shouldn't be here."
"You have to be here. I need you. It's in the marriage rule book." Thomas wouldn't let him pull away. "Do me a favor. Hold me in that way you do really well, that convinces us both everything's fine."
Actually that was the feeling Marcus got when Thomas was holding him, but since he was supposed to be the alpha and Master here, he had enough pride not to say it. Though from Thomas's knowing look, Marcus figured he already knew it. But he did wrap his arms around Thomas. His pet sat up so it wasn't like Marcus was lying in his arms like some swooning heroine. He knew this helped Thomas as much as it helped him. That was what the whole marriage deal was about, too.
Thomas let out a sigh and relaxed against him as Marcus threaded his fingers through the curls at his nape and tugged. Then he trailed them past the tie of the gown and stroked the bare line of his spine.
"It's going to suck, being out of commission on the sex side of things for a while," Thomas said.
"As long as you can get on your knees and give me blow jobs, I'm good with it."
"Asshole." Thomas put his lips against Marcus's neck and bit lightly, but it sent a bolt of response into dark, savage places Marcus knew were too close to the surface. His farm boy was fanning the flames. "Let's get in a quick fuck before this all goes down."
Marcus chuckled, though his fingers dug into Thomas's back muscles as his submissive's lips and tongue dragged over his carotid. Marcus had fucked him endlessly last night and, though he hadn't always been gentle, he'd been thorough.
"You are pushing it," Marcus muttered, drawing his head back. He gave Thomas a warning look, though the moist look of Thomas's lips was way too distracting. He attempted a casual tone.
"If I entertain that idea for even a millisecond, that's when your mother and Rory would come in. Your mother would have a heart attack and Rory would swear we'd burned out his retinas."
