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Proving it a moment later, he adjusted his body toward her, lifting an arm and looping it over her bent shoulders, rounding out the cocoon their bodies and limbs formed. His fingers delved into her hair to hold and tug. He squeezed her hard, giving her his strength in return for her own.
He also surprised her when he at last shifted, making sure the kitten had a safe transition to the floor before he stood on his knees and wrapped both arms around Regina. Since she was still sitting, her head was on his chest, and he gave her that same se
nse of being surrounded by warmth she'd just given him.
"Thank you," he said thickly. "In case I'm an asshole later, which is a pretty sure bet, I wanted to say that."
"You won't be an asshole later, or I'll kick your ass. If that's what you need." She smoothed her hands over his back and pressed her face into his chest, liking his heated scent. "I promised you a walk along the waterfront. Why don't we go do that? We don't have to make any decisions here."
"No. Yeah." He sat back on his heels and considered the kitten, who was playing with one of her brethren, tumbling and posturing with an adorable fuzzing up of tiny tail and back. "I think if I don't set things in motion, once I leave here, I'll talk myself out of it. I want to do it."
"Okay." She put a hand over his. "Just don't push yourself to do too much, too fast. It might be a good idea to think it all over some before you make too many changes."
He shook his head, a stubborn set to his jaw. "I've been stuck in this fucking rut for so long, all this shit about my dad in my head, and I'm done with it. It's like you said. Time to start living up to the expectations of people I want in my life."
"Sounds like a great start," she said sincerely. And she didn't want to do anything to throw a wrench into it. But...
"What you went through, Marius. It's not something you decide one day it's over, pick up your life and go on. Just now, when you looked at the kitten, I could see the hesitation in your gaze, even though she was sitting on you just a few minutes ago. It's going to be there for a long time, what happened with your dad."
"So you don't think I should adopt her?"
He looked so crestfallen, it gave his face a youthfulness she didn't typically see in his tough, masculine features. "I didn't say that." Though she realized she did think it might be too soon.
"No. I think you should," she said firmly, hoping she wasn't mistaking soft-heartedness for good instincts. If she was, she had Dale as a safety net. "I just think you should also take it slow. Why don't we go take our walk, and let it all sink in? Though before we go, we can fill out all the paperwork and get things started."
He gave her a searching look, but nodded. "Okay."
Dale's standard process involved a lot of questions. Some of the more penetrating ones about Marius's living arrangements, finances and work schedule made her boy get more somber and quiet as the process continued. When it concluded and Dale met her gaze, Marius pushed back from the table abruptly.
"I know I'm a bad bet, so I get it. Whatever." He moved toward the office door, that belligerent set to his shoulders Regina well knew. Dale brought him to a halt with one question.
"Why do you want to adopt this kitten, Marius?"
Marius pivoted and faced him. "What does it matter? I'm not a good home for her. I can tell you think so."
"Maybe you're assuming things so you don't get punched in the face by a rejection. From what I understand from Regina, you're not afraid of getting punched in the face for real, so man up and answer my fucking question honestly. And don't presume to know what's in my head, son."
Marius bristled at what Regina was sure was Dale's deliberate use of the familiarity. His jaw clenched, but he didn't break the retired SEAL's gaze, which Regina knew was a good accomplishment when Dale was leveling that stare on someone.
"I would take care of her. I'd follow Regina's direction on the stuff I don't know about, and I'd learn how to be good at it."
"I'm glad to hear that. That's the kind of sincerity I want from someone who adopts an animal. But it's not an answer to my question. Why do you want to adopt her?"
Marius frowned. Sorting the thoughts and emotions to answer Dale clearly was an obvious physical effort. "I liked holding her," he said at last. "I liked how she trusted me. When she played, it made me smile. Those things felt normal. She made me feel like I could be a normal person, adopting a pet. I thought, for a minute, I could give her a good home. That we could be good together."
She saw a deep despair in his gaze. "But you're right. It's too soon and...just forget it. Thanks for your time. I'll be in the car."
He left the office, the screen door clapping against the frame as he released it and strode across the lot. A couple of the dogs approached him and then veered off.
"He's right. It's too soon," Dale said. "I'm sorry, Regina, but he's all over the map."
"What if I was the cat's primary guardian? If she lives with me?" As the idea formed in her mind, it made sense. Keeping the cat at her home for the time being would help Marius be less uptight about all the things that could go wrong. Give him breathing space to build the necessary bridges in his mind to see himself as a good risk as a pet parent. "I think he truly does want to learn how to care for a pet," she added. "But that would be less stressful, and good for him and the cat at the same time."
Regina was relieved to see Dale's expression ease into a tentative approval. "If you're wanting to adopt a cat, that could work. I'd need to be sure that if it never worked out for him, that you'd want to be this cat's long term home. I want her loved, not just tolerated."
"No problem there. I've thought about adopting one plenty of times, but until recently I traveled too much. The corporate outreach through the community college is looking like a two-year gig at least, and may lead to other consulting in the area. I'm over being on the road half the year."
Dale grunted. "I'd accept that solution, then. But it would be good if she had a friend to play with."
