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“Uncle Mathis beat up Dad?” she asked like she could barely understand the words I was saying.
I stopped pacing and faced her. “Look, I don’t know what Mathis is up to, but he has your father and he’s threatening to hurt him.”
I debated not telling her. It would be easier for me if I kept it from her. If I could just lie to her, tell her everything was okay, things would go smooth. I mean, fuck, she looked incredible in that little lingerie, and I know she wanted me to come over and peel it off her, even if she hated herself a little bit for it.
But I can’t lie to her. I won’t lie to her, not if I can avoid it.
“We have to do something,” she said. “We have to… we have to help my dad.”
“We will,” I said. “I promise. I fucking swear we will.”
“They’re going to kill him,” she said, her voice tight with tears. Her eyes went wide and she leaned forward. “They’re going to kill him, Steven. All because you brought me here.”
‘No,” I said. “They won’t. He’s still family. They wouldn’t.”
She stood up, rage coming over her again. “You asshole,” she said, grabbing a dress at random and throwing it at me. I batted it down to the ground.
‘Stop,” I said.
She threw more clothes. Jeans, skirts, button down shirts, zip up hoodies, bra and panties. She threw it at me and screamed until I slapped aside a pair of panties aimed at my face and grabbed her wrists.
“Let me go,” she said.
I wrestled her down to the couch. She struggled against me, eyes hard and angry, but I pinned her down, wrists above her head, her supple body under mine.
“Stop,” I said. “You have to calm down. We can’t do shit if you’re going to lose it like this.”
“They have my dad,” she said. “Don’t you get it? He’s all I have left.”
I stared at her for a long moment and let out a breath. I released her wrists and stood. She stayed on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
“I get it,” I said. “And I swear we’ll help him. But right now, you can’t freak out, okay? I can’t worry about you and help your dad at the same time.”
“I’m so fucked,” she whispered.
“You’re not,” I said.
“I’m fucked.” She stood up. “And my dad’s fucked. The Club took my mother away, and now they’re going to take him, too.” She stormed past me, up the steps, and disappeared into her room. I heard the door slam behind her.
I stood there for a second and let out a sigh.
“Fuck,” I said, and stared up at the ceiling.8ColleenI curled up into a tight ball and stared at the ground while thoughts of my father getting murdered by my uncle swirled through my mind.
I couldn’t understand how this was happening. Uncle Mathis let Dad leave the Club when I was just a kid, back when my mother died. I was ten years old, and I could still remember it over a decade later. I could see my father, angry and red-faced, his eyes puffy from crying, drunk as hell and leaning on the bannister as he shouted at my uncle, as he blamed my uncle for her death. I’d never forget how my uncle got down on his knees, took my father’s hand, and begged forgiveness.
I didn’t understand what it all meant back then, and I still barely understood it. But it made no sense that my uncle would take my father and threaten to hurt him.
My uncle begged for my father’s forgiveness. He allowed my father to leave the Club, allowed us to stay in the neighborhood. Though my father never forgave Uncle Mathis and we haven’t had anything to do with them in a long time, things were still quiet. There was no reason for Uncle Mathis to hate my dad or want to hurt him.
I don’t know how long I stayed in bed in that oversized sweatshirt and the silly lingerie. I felt like an idiot, like I’d lost my mind. I don’t know what came over me, but I was having so much fun trying on clothes, and when he asked me to put on the lingerie, I thought it might… I thought it might be fun.
I wanted him to look at my body. He’d looked at me already, and I knew he liked what he saw. I knew he wanted me.
And god, it’s insane, it’s sick, but I wanted him, too.
So I put on the lingerie. And of course now he’s bringing even more darkness into my life.
Eventually I stirred and got in the shower. I left the sweatshirt and the lingerie on the tile floor as I stood under the water and let it roll down my skin. I refused to let myself cry, wouldn’t give Steven the satisfaction. When I got out, I found the door was open a crack and there were clothes piled on the bed, everything I’d chosen downstairs.
