Page 41 of Hockey Player Seeking Fan

"I mean, I get it. I do. And I really hope that happens for you. But is there anything wrong with flirting with Tyler and maybe enjoying some of his kisses?"

"I don't know," I say. "Oh, Sabrina, I'm a mess."

"What do you mean? Why are you a mess? We all kiss guys that we shouldn't at some point in our lives."

"It's not just that. It's just..." I stare at her. "I've just been thinking recently, and I want you to be honest with me about something."

"Sure. What is it?"

"So I know growing up, your mom wasn't necessarily super well off."

"That's an understatement," she says, laughing.

"Well, I know you kind of struggled, and obviously, I was there for you as much as I could be, but now, I'm starting to realize that maybe I've just had an easy life, and maybe I haven't appreciated it." I stare at her. "Do you think I'm a spoiled brat? Do you think I'm just a rich girl who is living in daydreams and needs to have a reality check?"

"No. Why would you say that?"

"Because I feel like I'm being faced with different scenarios in life, and I'm just realizing that a lot of people have it really hard.I guess I'm starting to self-reflect that my problems aren't really problems."

"I feel you. And I think what's great is that you recognize the privilege that you have from being born to a rich family. And you do with that what you will."

"Yeah, I guess." I take a deep breath. "I just feel like everything is at a standstill in my life. I don't know if this podcast is going to take off, and it's not like I'm meeting anyone, and I just feel like... should I have more goals?

“Should I have more ideas? Should I have more needs and urges to do something? Like, where am I going?”

“I feel you, Erica, but not everyone knows right away. Is there anything you really, really want from life?”

“I mean, I'd love to be a successful podcaster, but do I really think it's going to become the number one podcast and be on NPR? I don't know.”

I hear my phone ringing.

“Oh, would you get that for me?”

“Sure. Hold on.”

I watch Sabrina head toward the bedroom and then come back out. She holds my phone in her hand and waves it around.

“It's your boy.”

“What boy? I don't have any boy.”

“It's Tyler.”

“Tyler. Oh my gosh. What does he want?”

“Well, you won't know unless you answer.”

“Fine,” I say, taking the phone from her.

“I'm going to make you some breakfast.”

“Okay. Thanks, girl.”

“You're welcome.”

“Hello, this is Erica,” I say into the phone, waiting for Tyler to speak.

“Good morning, princess.”