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“I haven’t seen you, either. Not in a few days.” There were sounds behind me like he was stumbling into his pants and then a thud like he fell against the wall. “I thought he was with you.”
“I called you and told you to tell him I was at a job.”
“How am I supposed to keep up with either of you?” he bellowed.
“So you haven’t seen him at all?” Raven asked.
“Who the hell are you anyway?”
“I’m her boyfriend,” he said.
“What? How come I’ve never heard of you?”
I turned around. Jack stood, his short hair wet and stuck against his head, his face dripping. His bare belly hung over the hem of the pants. Raven and Jack had squared off and were glowering at each other. I stared hard at Raven for a moment, trying to figure out if he was saying ‘boyfriend’ to keep things simple, and for some reason I took it like that. Seemed like the easiest thing to rattle off rather than just saying friend or, the real truth: that I’d just met him a few days ago and still barely knew him.
“He’s not helping,” I told Raven. “He doesn’t know.”
“Kayli?” Marc called. Footsteps sounded by the still-open door of the apartment. Marc nudged it further open as I stepped out to meet him. He spotted me and limped toward me, favoring one of his legs. His soft brown hair hung over in front of his mismatched eyes: one blue, one green. He gripped me by the elbows. “You okay? I...”
“Who is this?” Jack bellowed. He padded out into the main hotel room. “Why do you have all these boyfriends coming out of the woodwork? What kind of job were you at?”
Marc’s jaw hardened, making his high cheekbones stand out a little more. The black and brown plastic bands on his left wrist seemed to tighten against his arm as he made fists. He positioned himself in front of me, warding off Jack from getting any closer. “We’re here for her. We’re taking her with us.”
“What is this shit?” Jack said. He tried to look over at me from over Marc’s shoulder. “Kayli—”
Raven bumped into him on his way out of the bathroom almost knocking him over. He scanned the kitchenette again, and then the beds and the dresser. He spotted my two book bags on the floor by the beds. He picked them both up, slinging them over his shoulder. He turned to me. “Do you have anything else here? We’ll take it with us.”
“Hang on a second,” Jack said. He marched over to Raven, his finger pointed at him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Someone should stay here,” I said, ignoring Jack. “I mean, maybe I should. If Wil comes back—”
“He’s not here and he hasn’t been back,” Marc said. “I checked the computer logs downstairs in the business center and I’ve asked the manager. He said he hasn’t seen him, only Jack.” He looked over where I’d opened up the drawers, finding them empty. “If he’s taken his things, he’s not planning on coming back. Not for a while.”
“But...”
“You don’t take all your things and plan on coming back,” he said. He grabbed my hand, tugging me to the door. “Come on.”
“Wait a second, you’re not dragging her out of here.” Jack stomped over. “Let go of her.”
Marc moved over again, blocking access. “She’s coming with us.”
“Kayli doesn’t get dragged anywhere.” Jack looked at me, his eyes wide and wild. “You can’t just leave here.”
“You mean you can’t find beer money without me?” I asked.
“Don’t give me that shit.”
“No,” I said. I yanked my arm out of Marc’s grasp and stepped toward Jack, getting in his face. I didn’t want to do it this way but I had no choice. He was my father, but I’d had enough and I was wound up too tight to stop now. “I was gone for four days and you didn’t give a damn. Wil’s gone and you’re not out looking for him. You don’t even care. You just want me here to pay for this hotel room and to give you money. I’m nothing to you but an income source. The only reason I was doing it at all was for Wil. He’s gone. So I’m gone, too.”
Jack clenched his hands and shoved one toward me. “You selfish little ... after everything I’ve done...”
Raven clamped down on Jack’s wrist and twisted. Jack bent over backward to relieve the pressure. He howled and clawed at Raven’s grasp. Raven pushed back until Jack was on his knees and then shoved.
“Don’t touch her,” Raven said in a cold, deep voice.
Jack held his arms up in defense, easing himself up. “Fine. Take her.” He focused on me, pointing a finger. “You think I need you? You don’t know anything about nothing.”
I ground my teeth together to stop myself from arguing. Over the years, I dreamed of the day I would walk out on him and let him rot in his own mess. Now that it was here and I was doing it, all the words I’d wanted to spit at him didn’t want to appear. And did it matter? Nothing I could say would make any of this right.
But why was there that still persistent nag at my heart? Maybe it was because I still had a picture of him in my mind of what he used to be. Before my mother died, he’d kept a job, even if it wasn’t a good one and didn’t pay very well. He wasn’t always the friendliest, but he’d worked hard and kept us kids in line. It was what you’d want in a dad, at the least.
How could he dare ask me to stay, and beg me with those eyes that look struck and horrified? After all the fights? After becoming a bum and forcing us to cart him around while we barely survived? He’d given up on us.
“You have about a month,” I said as coolly as I could muster. I could leave him that at least. It relieved some of the guilt over abandoning him like a helpless animal. “The hotel room has been paid until then. If you don’t cause too much trouble, and they don’t have a reason to kick you out.”
Jack’s lips twisted and his head jerked back. “You shrewd girl. You’ve been holding back money? Paid a month? For this place?”
“Come on, Kayli,” Marc urged. He reached out for my wrist and tugged. “We should go.”
“You’re an idiot,” Jack called after me. “The rent is outrageous here. I was going to move us somewhere else. After the next check came in, I was going to...”
I turned from Marc, looking back at Jack. What was he babbling about? “What check?”
Jack shook his head. “You think you’re going to get a dime from me? You’ve got to be kidding. After all I’ve done to teach you to fend for yourself.”
“Teach me?” I asked. My shoulders drew back and I pointed a finger at him. “You mean drinking all our money and getting into fights at night until we were nearly out in the street? You couldn’t afford a cardboard box.”
“Stop, Kayli,” Marc said, tugging again, gentler this time. “He’s just egging you on.”
“What check?” I asked Jack again.
“You think I need you?” Jack shoved a finger back at my face. “It doesn’t matter if Wil is here as long as he’s going to school and the cops don’t catch him living somewhere. And if you’re both off on your own, then the state may reduce it, but I can still live on...”
It was like ice water striking at my very heart. “You...” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You get checks from the state?”
“You think I do nothing around here?” he bellowed. “You think I can’t support myself? You think your little contribution makes you tough shit?”
I smashed fists against my thighs to stop myself from hurling them at his face. My mouth clamped shut and I was biting my tongue so hard, I tasted the blood boiling inside me. “How long?” I managed to utter.
“None of your business what I do with my money,” he said. “You dropped out of school and have been running around and when I stopped providing for you and your brother, you straightened up and worked and finally started contributing.”
Raven held up a hand between us. “This isn’t the time for this. Wil is still gone.”
But the revela
tion struck me hard. My father had lied to me. Lied about having money. He lost his job, and didn’t even try to look for another one. It’s why I’d dropped out of school. I’d started working part time jobs where I could get them. And when it wasn’t enough, I started stealing what I needed by picking pockets at the mall. Even then, we got kicked out of our old apartment and Jack convinced us we should stay at the hotel until we found another. But this whole time, I had been the only one paying the bills and contributing. Jack left nearly every afternoon when the bars opened to drink and pay for hookers out of the money I’d brought home for rent.
And now he tells me he’s been getting government assistance all along. Possibly using me and Wil the entire time as the state helped pay for what we needed. Only the money went to Jack. He must have drank it all. Gave it away to those hookers.
My rage bubbled over. I lunged at him. I wailed. I screamed. Marc tried to pull me back, but I wrenched myself free. Raven dropped my bags and wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back, but not before I clawed at Jack’s face with a good swipe. Even then, it wasn’t enough.
“How could you?” I screamed at him as Raven started carrying me to the door. “We needed you and you kept it all to yourself? We were starving!”
“Get out!” Jack bellowed after me. “Ungrateful little shithead!”
A slew of curses fell from my lips as Raven towed me out. I fought him, but not as hard as I could have because he wasn’t the one I wanted to kill.
I was a mess, upside down, eyes seeing red and choking on sobs as Raven brought me to the parking lot. Marc followed, carrying the book bags that Raven had dropped. His head was down as he stared at his feet as we left. He opened the truck and threw my bags into the back seat. Raven put me down in the passenger side and then shoved me over until I was in the middle.
