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I touched a hand towel to dry myself quickly. “Nothing,” I said. I turned and shoved my arms across my stomach, leaning back against the counter. “The room is freezing.”
“So you come in here?”
“And I don’t like hotel rooms.”
“It’s not the same hotel,” he said. “You don’t like taking a vacation?”
“I’ve never been on one,” I said. “And we’re not on vacation.”
He stepped forward. I stood still as he positioned himself in front of me. His head tilted down as he gazed at my face. He was quiet for so long, I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me. He was staring at me, waiting me out.
I was throwing my anger at him, and I was angry because I hated the lies piling up. I hated being a complete hypocrite, which is what I was becoming. Worse than a thief, was a liar.
I rubbed at the goose bumps on my arms, and tilted my head away. “Can I ask you something?”
I sensed his dark eyes staying with my face. His voice deepened. “Anything.”
I wanted to drill him about the Academy. I didn’t want to wait to snoop for answers. I didn’t like being in the dark, but I didn’t know where to start.
Silence filled the space between us. When I finally met his gaze, he was as I’d seen him last, staring at me, the same expression. Patient.
His eyes drifted up, toward my hair. “You know,” he said quietly and then reached toward a kit one of the boys left in the bathroom. He unzipped it, drawing out a brush. “When I was younger, my mother used to sit me on the bed and she’d brush my hair and talked to me. It was the one thing that calmed me when I was angry.”
“You want me to brush your hair?” I asked.
He smirked. “Turn around.”
I wasn’t the sort to play dress up with the girls, or let other people do it for me. Letting other people cut my hair was bad enough.
Strangely, I obeyed Axel. I felt compelled to comply. I told myself I was trying to gain his trust, but a deeper part of me was curious.
Axel lifted the brush to my scalp. He collected the long strands and started to brush. I watched through the mirror as he focused on my hair. He started slowly, working out tangles, the gentle scrape and tug of the brush mesmerizing.
He grazed his fingertips lightly along my neck, sometimes my shoulders.
The movements were soothing. The tight ball of tension in my stomach started to relax, and my mind drifted to an almost sleepy state.
“Tell me about the scar,” he said quietly.
He was talking about the one on my butt, the one I’d avoided talking about before. “No,” I said. Because if I talked about it, he’d ask a lot of questions and I didn’t want to think about right now.
“Your father or your boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend?” he asked.
I grunted, tilting my head away from his brushing.
He lifted his hand from my shoulder, putting his palm against the side of my head, close to my ear, drawing my head back in a gentle, warm touch. “Which one?” he asked a little louder.
What an ass. He waited until I was vulnerable, and couldn’t run and he was going to corner me with something that didn’t matter? Did he really need to know that bad? “Ex-boyfriend,” I said sharply, trying to make it clear I hated this. “Wasn’t even a boyfriend. Just someone I was on a date with once.”
“He tried to rape you?” he asked.
My hands clenched into fists and I stared through my hair that was draped over part of my face, staring at the sink. My lips stiffened against my teeth as I clenched my jaw.
He put the brush down on the counter. With both hands, he combed his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp. This way, he redirected my eyes again, until I was looking at him through the mirror. “But he didn’t succeed,” he said, his gaze meeting mine.
My heart thundered against my ribs. “How do you know?” I asked.
“You’re not that broken,” he said.
Not that broken. He thought I was broken, but not that much. My jaw dropped and I accidentally sucked in air at the same time, catching some hair into my mouth. I spit it out and clawed at my hair to get it out of my face.
“Stop,” he said. He collected the strands and drew them back, trying to gather my hair into a ponytail.
I glared at him through the mirror. “Stop talking like you know everything about me.”
“I didn’t know for sure until now.”
Damn. He had me reacting. He didn’t have to know, he just guessed and depending on how I responded, he got his answer. “Don’t tell the other guys.”
“You’re not interested in any of them?”
I didn’t know how to react to this, because I didn’t know the answer myself. Marc, Brandon and Raven had expressed so much interest, that they were just waiting for me to confirm in some way. There was Blake, waiting on the sidelines, thinking I was teamed up with him now. I was stuck in the middle. I didn’t know where I belonged.
It was all wrong. I’d let things go too far. My feelings were so conflicted. I felt so strongly about them all, I couldn’t decide. It killed me every time I thought about it. Every moment I waited, it was becoming too late to turn back.
I closed my eyes, forcing Axel out. “I don’t need to make things worse,” I whispered.
Axel dropped his hands and stood behind me quietly. When I opened my eyes again, he was gazing at me through the mirror. His eyes dropped, and from the way his head tilted, it seemed like he was gazing at my cheek, my neck. He was close enough that I felt this breath warming my skin.
“Are they fighting over you?” he asked quietly.
Heat rushed through my body. It was like he actually knew what was going on, and wanted me to confirm. “Not yet.” Maybe even not for long, if they ever knew the truth, and found out what I was really up to. If they ever found out about each other, about how close I’d let some of them get, that would be it. The different sides pulling me in all directions was wearing on me.
His hand lifted, and caught my chin. He tilted my face until I was looking over my shoulder at him. The swell of a storm rose behind his gaze. “I’ll end it. Right here, if you want me to.”
I didn’t know how to respond, but his answer put me in a panic. Would he tell the guys about what was happening? Would he call them off? Demand his team leave me alone? Would that even work?
Did I want that?
It wasn’t until his eyes lowered to my mouth that I realized that wasn’t what he meant at all.
My insides vibrated, sensing him so close, half naked behind me with his hands on my face. His thumb traced over the edge of my jaw. His nose lowered closer to my neck. He hovered there for so long. Waiting.
I lifted my gaze deliberately. He drew his head back a notch, meeting my eyes again. Silently, I told him I didn’t know what I wanted. I was a mess. In the quiet span between us were a hundred little different roadblocks, all created by lies, shrouded in secrecy because of this Academy.
What was Axel doing to me? He seemed so aloof at times, but he was getting closer than the others, digging out my feelings with just a question and a stare. As much as I resisted, he pushed me into admitting all sorts of crazy things. He knew more of me than the others did. He had my heart pulsing, pleading with me to just give up, to submit and let myself be happy for once. Could I ever stop fighting long enough to let anyone else in?
“I don’t know,” I said, and my voice shook with every syllable.
The corner of his mouth dipped down. His eyes shifted from mine to all over my face, my hair, my cheeks, my lips, my ears. “This is dangerous,” he said quietly. “You’re dangerous. Maybe Kevin was right.”
Kevin? He barely knew me and he told them I was dangerous. I didn’t have an answer. I just stared back, daring, feeling stripped naked under his scrutiny.
He sighed, shaking his head. “We’re already done for. I get why you tried to leave, but now you’re back. There’s no escaping anymore.”
“Didn’t ask for t
his to happen,” I said. “I’ll leave, if you want. Tell me to hop a train or a boat and disappear. If that’s the answer, if that’s the smart thing to do—” To be honest, it was my first instinctive answer to any of this. The last two times I’d done it though, I’d failed and returned. I thought if Axel told me it was the right thing, I’d do it. I was worried about my brother, but it felt like I was putting him in more danger staying than I was just running off.
His hand lifted, tracing the edge of my cheek with a corner of his fingernail, scratching slightly as he drew his fingers across my skin. The small touch tugged my heart with it. “No,” he said. “It was inevitable, I think. If you leave now, most of my team would follow. Including me.”
I stared at him, trying to figure out that last part. I was begging him silently to tell me what it all meant. Was it really too late for me? Did I know too much that they’d have to hunt me down if I tried to run?
“You?” I whispered.
Axel’s hand dropped and he backed up a step. He took my elbow, turning until I faced him. At first, I kept my head lowered and stared at his chest, his collarbone, anything else.
His finger curled around my chin and lifted.
