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Then his lips clamped onto a particular spot just under my ear. It was a soft bit of flesh, and his mouth parted, taking in the skin and sucked on it.
A moan escaped my lips before I had a chance to catch it. My fingernails dug into his shoulder as I held on. My wild thoughts vanished into a void. His hips gyrated forward, as if hearing my pleasure turned him on.
My hips lifted up slightly, drawn to his.
He gripped my shirt then, tugging it up. He pulled back enough so he could lift it away from me. I pulled my head up, lifting my body slightly to allow it.
He didn’t stop. He reached down, tugging down the boxers I had on. He moved enough so he could pull them away.
In just my underwear now, I felt his eyes on me, even though it was dark in the room. My arms, out of some ingrained girl modesty, folded up over my breasts, covering.
His eyes did the sweep. He dropped his gaze quickly to my thighs, as if trying to avoid looking directly, but his eyes slid up slowly. He angled his head, taking in my calves, thighs, over my hips and stomach, to my chest. Very slow, very deliberate.
He was breathing heavily. His eyes settled finally on my arms covering myself.
His hand encircled one of my wrists drawing it back toward the bed. Still, I had my other arm across my breasts. It was me forcing him to go further, and I’d block every step. I wanted him to do the work, because every step he took closer, I needed to know his desire. I needed to feel it.
He kept my wrist pinned while he captured my other arm, tugging it away from my body. He brought both wrists above my head.
His eyes lowered to my breasts. His gaze settled on my hardening nipples. He tilted his head, studying.
With my wrists pinned with one hand above my head, he brought the other hand down to cup my breast. He slid his thumb over the nipple, rubbing the delicate, soft skin with his fingers.
His head lowered, drawn to it.
His lips enveloped the nipple. He kissed it. Slow at first, and then his tongue slid out, gliding along the sensitive tip.
My nerves electrified. My body arched a little, pushing my breast toward his face. I struggled for control of my hands, so I could wriggle away because the sensations were too much for me. He held me in place, firmly holding me down.
I smothered my gasps into as quiet of a whisper as I could manage.
His hand trailed to my other breast, capturing it the same way as he’d done the other. He gripped it tighter, his mouth wetting my skin, as he licked the nipple and then took it into his mouth. His teeth started to graze against the peak.
Every bit of my skin radiated with heat and excitement. I turned slightly, as intense as it was. He gripped me harder, pulling me back, forcing me to be steady.
He kept his mouth at my breast, and his fingers lowered down, grazing softly against my stomach. His fingers traced over the elastic of my underwear. They dipped further, until he was pressing against my pubic bone.
I ripped my hand from his grip, blocking off his arm from touching me further down there. I could have handled it, maybe just hand play, but I knew myself, and I’d get too out of control and would be too tempted to let it go further.
His hand retreated until he was gripping my hip outside of my underwear. His lips pulled away from my nipple long enough to kiss my mouth.
“Sorry,” I whispered against him.
“Don’t be,” he said. He stretched, relaxing on his side. He kept his hand resting on my hip and his other arm went around my neck, tugging me in.
“I didn’t want to stop all the way,” I said.
“I know,” he said. “But I need to.”
I could understand it. It is more difficult for guys to stop than it is for a girl. I tried not to move, for his sake.
He kept kissing my face, and his hand moved from my hip, to sliding across my side, feeling my ribs, touching every bone. From the waist up, he explored.
I did, too. I let my hands wander, carefully, around his stomach. I felt the lumps of muscle, the curve of his chest, the dip along his collarbone. I wanted to know his body by heart.
Axel kissed my forehead, pressing my face up against his chest. He tucked his head, burying his nose in my hair close to my ear. “I saw it,” he whispered. “Saw it the moment I saw you.”
“Hm?” I mumbled against him.
He kissed my ear and then his lips traced the edge as he whispered. “I saw you on the couch that day, and I told myself if I didn’t kick you out right then, if I didn’t make you leave, send you back home, that I’d end up like this with you.”
“Stuck in the middle of Florida with me?” I whispered.
He shook his head against me, before tilting down, kissing my ear over and over as he spoke. “Don’t leave again,” he said. “Not like before. I want you here.” He backed his head up, his hand lifting to swipe back the hair in my face, clearing my eyes until I could look back at him. “What’s it going to take to get you to stay with me? Because I don’t think I could take it if you skipped out again.”
My heart shoved itself against my ribs. My breath felt difficult to draw in. My stomach was flipping over on itself. He wasn’t waiting to ask for commitment. “Axel...”
He kissed me again and then grunted, pressing himself into me. He sighed and then relaxed. “In a minute, you should go back in with Corey.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want them to know yet. Not like this.”
Guilt crashed in. I swallowed thickly, forcing my eyes shut. I don’t know why, but it was like I expected Axel to have some magic answer. That he’d go in and tell everyone what was going on and it would be him and I and everyone had to accept it.
Instead I got more secrets. Don’t tell.
And my heart dared to enjoy that thought. I wasn’t sure I could look at Marc or Brandon or even Raven without feeling the guilt of what I’d just done with Axel. I let myself go over the edge, to be lured by him. I felt drawn to Axel as much as the others. So many outstanding guys and I was in the middle.
And why was I willing to go with his request? Because I was too chicken to even tell the boys myself. I was a horrible person.
Maybe I deserved the Academy.
FUTURE
I didn’t wait long to retreat back to the room with Marc and Corey. I’d redressed in the shirt and boxers and tiptoed in. Marc was snoring. Corey was quiet but curled up on one side of the bed.
I slipped in quietly, relaxing in the bed.
Surprisingly, I fell asleep quickly. I didn’t wake up until a hand pressed to my shoulder.
“Bambi,” Marc called.
“Urg,” I replied. I forced an eye open.
Marc hovered over me and then shook me again. “Get up. We’ve got to go.”
I grunted, sitting up. It was late in the morning, but the room was deceptively dark as the curtain was drawn tight. Corey was gone. “Where is everyone?”
Marc was in a dark blue T-shirt, jeans and he had the leather and plastic bands along one wrist. His hair was combed wet against his head. His mismatched eyes stayed on me. “Out working. Axel said to let you sleep in.”
I stared at Marc, waiting for the rest: that Axel had told him everything that had happened between us and now he knew.
Marc cocked an eyebrow. “What?”
I sucked down a breath and held it, waiting. He didn’t know. “What are we doing?” I asked, stretching.
“First, you need to get dressed. Come on.” He reached over, tugging my arm and pulling me out of bed.
I used him for support as my legs needed a stretch before they functioned correctly.
“You sleep okay?” he asked.
Funny question. “I’m still tired,” I said.
“You’re not sick, are you?”
“I’m never sick.”
“I heard about Wil,” he said, “while you were asleep.”
I perked up. “What about him?”
“He’s at school. Got a call from Kevin. He says he checked with
the front desk and Wil is on the attendance roster. So he’s still showing up. He didn’t go see him though. He will if you want him to.”
I shook my head slowly. “No. I… It’s okay. I guess I’ll talk to him when I get back.”
He smiled. “Come on, you spoiled brat. We get this job done, and we can head back home. Then you can talk to him.”
I showered slowly, just to take up time and let my body adjust to being upright when I felt like crawling into bed. I wasn’t a happy morning person. I got dressed in another tank shirt and another pair of shorts.
For a moment, I took in what had happened. I kissed Axel. I’d even been half naked with him. That was a big step, even for me. I tried to convince myself it was because I’d needed the release. I’d been building up a lot of emotions and had been around these hot looking guys for so long. After Axel’s intensity and kissing, and feeling that craving for something close, I’d given in. I wanted to lie to myself and say I did it just to learn his secrets, but I knew better and didn’t want to cheapen the experience.
The deepest part of me wanted this to be real, and that what I’d started out learning about the Academy was somehow a huge misunderstanding.
