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“He was proud of it. Proud,” he says with such disgust I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to restrain himself in Lucifer’s presence. “And he still expected me to behappy that he was finally paying attention to me. He thought I would just agree to the terms of his will for money. I ran into some of the worst people this world has to offer my first few years working patrol, and to this day, I have never met someone as cruel and selfish as him. I left with him screaming that he would make me sorry I was ever born.”
We stop again. He places a hand on my hip, gently turns me to face him. My breath catches as his hand comes up. He traces a finger along my jaw before cradling me in his palm.
“When I walked into that bar and saw you, it felt like something was finally going right. My night with you wasn’t expected. I needed it more than I realized. Yes,” he says with a ghost of a smile, “I went back to the bar to look for you. Our time together meant something.”
“It meant something to me, too.” My words are barely a whisper.
“I know that now. When I walked into your office three months later and saw you, my first thought was that I had found you. You were cold, calm. At first, I thought you didn’t recognize me. Then, when I realized who you were, and that you had appeared in my life right after Lucifer issued his ultimatum, the answer seemed obvious. Even if you hadn’t been involved with him directly, I wondered if you had figured out who I was and decided to put your knowledge to use.” A scowl darkens his face. “More than one woman has tried to trap me into becoming a father or getting married since I made my first million. It’s the reason you saw pictures of so many women. I already didn’t trust people in general. Why let someone get close when I had so many examples of people acting in their own interests?”
Hearing him present it now, without anger or insult, I can’t say I wouldn’t have drawn a similar conclusion.
“When you walked into my office… I thought the same thing.” I look up at him, his handsome face that is now so familiar. “I thought you had found me.”
A muscle twitches in his cheek. He looks away. “After you read the will, I wanted nothing to do with Lucifer, my brothers, you.”
“What made you change your mind about Gavriil’s wedding?”
“My mother. She hadn’t wanted me to go see Lucifer. But as she told me, her wants and my needs were two very different things. After I told her about the will and my brothers, she told me I owed it to them, and myself, to give them a chance.”
“So you went to the wedding.”
“I did. I wasn’t happy about it, but I knew she was right. Because I showed up, Gavriil reached out a couple weeks later when he had a problem.” His voice drifts off as his gaze turns pensive. “The fact that he reached out and asked for my help meant something. It opened the door for us to get to know each other better, and eventually Rafe.”
I want to point out in that moment how much that meant to him, his brother placing his trust in someone he barely knew. But I stay silent. This isn’t about me. Not right now.
“When I saw you there at the wedding, all of my suspicions came to the forefront. I was convinced you were playing a long game, just waiting to somehow use our night together. I decided to warn you off.”
He stops next to a low-lying wall with incredible views of the sea. He gently turns me to face him, running one hand up and down my bare arm as he cups my face with the other.
“I’m sorry. I still wanted you, and that made everything ten times worse. I lashed out at you, not just because I was angry and suspicious, but because I was angry at myself for still thinking about a woman I thought had betrayed me.”
I reach up and smooth a lock of hair away from his forehead. “I understand a little better now. I didn’t deserve the vitriol.”
“No, you didn’t. But I also understand a little more now.” He leans down and touches his forehead to mine. The simple contact makes my breath rush out in a wash. “My whole life has been tainted by betrayal. My father betraying my mother and leaving her to fight on her own. Schools that were overburdened and didn’t help. The women who wanted money or clothes or a ring after I made my first million. What I saw over and over again of human nature and what we can do to each other as an officer.”
I lean back slightly. “You don’t talk much about your time as an officer.”
“I was very proud of what I accomplished during my time with the NYPD. I gave everything I had to that job. But I wanted more, too. I wanted to make a bigger difference.”
“Do you miss being an officer?”
“Sometimes I miss the work. But what I do now fills a lot of that void. When I was working for the Special Crimes Division, I saw so many alarm systems that failed. I learned a lot. Sullivan Security was born because of those failures and the lack of affordable systems for the people who need it most.” His fingers drift up and down my jaw, his movements light even as they leave tiny sparks burning in the wake of his touch. “Good can come from ashes.”
I suck in a quick breath as the baby moves.
“What’s wrong?”
I laugh slightly at the alarm in his voice. “Nothing. He’s just very active this morning.”
Michail’s gaze drops down to my stomach. Slowly I reach up, tug his hand away from my face and guide it down. He inhales sharply. The intimacies we have shared so far are nothingcompared to this moment. I place his hand on the side of my stomach.
“I don’t feel anything.”
“Give it a moment.”
And then he moves. A good roll, tiny hands or perhaps a foot pushing against my stomach. Right against the palm of Michail’s hand. His eyes widen as his lips part.
“Was that…?”