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“I should go,” I said, my voice sounded small.
“Do you want me to go with you? I can help you get to your window.”
I shook my head, pushing my body to the side of his bed. His bed was high off the ground, enough that my feet were still hovering inches above the floor. I jumped off of his bed and wobbled where I stood, still half asleep and wishing I could crawl right back into his bed. I wanted to skip school and sleep all day there. “The back door should still be unlocked.” I fished my phone out from the bed, putting it back into the bra top.
“Sang?”
“Yeah?” I turned toward his voice.
He was on his knees, coming toward me. The muscles in his body shifted as he knee-walked across the bed, his arms outstretched toward me.
I opened my own arms to him. His encircled me, holding me around the waist as he hugged me to his muscular body. My arms wrapped around his neck. I liked hugs.
My fingers traced behind his ear. He stiffened against me and drew away. His eyes locked with mine.
Did I do something wrong? “Nathan?”
His mouth twisted, his lips parting to say something but closed again. I had the sense to understand there was something more he wanted to tell me or ask me, but he had changed his mind.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “Don’t worry about me.”
He smirked, shaking his head. “Says the girl that can’t sleep in her own bed.”
I scoffed but he crossed the room to the window. He yanked the cord to open the blinds and opened the window. The air had chilled during the night. September was promising cooler days ahead.
I lifted myself through and hit the ground on the other side. I turned around and Nathan leaned out the window, his chest and stomach muscles making weird shadows against the odd glow of the moon.
“Guess you didn’t need to go through the window,” he said. “Though it’s kind of fun, I guess. I do it to you so much.” He grinned. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“In a couple of hours.”
He nodded. “Get going before you’re caught. Be careful.”
Cornered
I ran home with my bare feet sliding against the dew in the grass. A fog had rolled in sometime in the night. The hovering density in the air left my skin electrified as it had the night before. Again it was tempting to stay outside. Monday was here, though, and the guys needed me. I’d see them at school. That thought alone drove me on. I’d get dressed, grab my things and dart right back to Nathan’s. No, I should wait and give him time to get dressed. How long would it take him?
I padded across the long driveway up to the door in the garage. My father’s car wasn’t there. I wondered how much longer he would be away. I wondered if he was in Mexico again. I’d have to find some crackers to leave for my mother.
In my hurry, I twisted the handle, stepping inside.
“Who is it?” My mother called from the kitchen.
My heart froze in my chest as my hand slipped from the door handle. It swung out of reach and crashed against the wall on the other side. The slim chance I’d had of possibly tiptoeing up the backstairs and disappearing as if nothing had happened vanished.
My mother waddled into the family room from the kitchen. She was awake, and that was good, right? I wouldn’t have to call Dr. Green. She was sweating. Her eyes bugged out. “What are you doing out there?” she demanded.
“I... uh... thought I heard something,” I said. I let the lies flow from my mouth, too terrified to be concerned with what. “I heard meowing outside my window. I went to check.”
“Did you find a cat?”
Was she going to believe me? “I couldn’t see one,” I said. “I checked the bushes. Is that why you’re up? Did you hear me out there? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Her pale face twisted, her dull eyes glancing toward the wall. “Where’s your father?”
“He’s not here,” I said. Did she really not know? “He said there was another business trip.”
Her mouth tightened, the creases at her lips deepening. The hair around her face was pulled back. The pony tail was freshly done but the hair was matted together as if she didn’t bother to brush it. When was the last time she brushed it? Was it an effort so she ignored it?
“Were you hungry?” I offered in a quiet voice, unsure of her expression. “I’ve got time before I have to get ready for school. I could scramble some eggs and make some toast.”
She swayed on her feet, enough to scare me that she might fall over. “I think I want...” Her head tilted, her eyes widened, staring at my body. It confused me. Was she looking at me now? Did she finally focus on me? Maybe being nicer and trying harder was working.
I thought that until I felt the slight vibration of the phone against my chest. I glanced down, the face of the phone glowed, giving away its location against my heart. Nathan was calling.
“What is that?” My mother’s voice strained with confusion and a rumbling anger bubbling to the surface.
“Nothing,” I said, covering my chest to hide the glow. “Just a...” I couldn’t think of a lie. I couldn’t think at all. Was Nathan watching? What happened? Why would he call? “Something for school,” I said.
Her hands balled into fists. Her eyes narrowed at my chest. “Show it to me.”
My body quaked. There was no way to hide it. Nathan’s call went to voicemail. Either he’d seen what was happening or he was checking in for me to make sure I got in safe. Would he try again in a few minutes?
My fingers trembled as I couldn’t think of a reason not to show her, and even if I denied the request, it wouldn’t matter. She might punish me and then what? Dr. Green said to do whatever she said as long as it wasn’t being tied up in the shower or something equally dangerous. The phone wasn’t dangerous.
I untucked the phone from my chest, presenting it to her.
Her eyes narrowed on the iPhone in the pink case. “The school doesn’t give cell phones. Where did you get that?”
“I meant,” I said, trying something else, “I found it at school. I didn’t have time to turn it in to the front office, so I was hanging on to it until Monday when I got the chance.”
She snatched the phone from my hands. She tapped at it, illuminating the surface.
A text message caused the phone to buzz in her hands. The message popped up on the screen in front of her face. She scanned the words. “Sang,” she read, her voice bursting with anger, and something else... satisfaction? “Hurry back when you can. I’ve got some of those coffees you like.” Her head tilted toward me, her eyes. “Who is Nathan?”
My hand fluttered up to my lip, pushing to my teeth. My tongue felt glued to the top of my mouth. What do I do? What should I do? Should I run away? If I ran back to Nathan’s, could he help?
My mother pointed the end of the phone at me. “Where did you get this? Did you steal it? Or was it from the money you stole?”
I blinked at her, confused by this new information. “What money?”
“You know what money.”
My eyes flashed at her. “I don’t have money.”
She scoffed. “Are you telling me this boy bought you this phone? Is that what you’re sa
ying? What kind of things did you have to do to get him to buy you one?”
I started to shake my head, but I didn’t have an answer for the question it left open. Either someone got it for me or I stole something to get it. What answer was the best?
“I can’t believe this,” she said. “I tried. I did my best. Here you are. Sneaking into the house. Smelling like a boy. A cell phone. Lying. The tramp of the neighborhood. I knew it when we moved here that it was a mistake. I don’t know what to do with you,” she spat at me. Her fingers clutched at the phone. She swung her arm, pointing the end of it toward the kitchen. “Start walking.”
My eyes opened wide. I smelled like a boy? I couldn’t tell but perhaps I carried Nathan’s cypress scent with me. This was the worst thing she’d ever caught me at and there was nothing I could say to reverse it. What now? Rice? Should I not kneel like Kota said? Should I wait until she had me kneel and then escape? If I don’t answer the phone, they’d come for me when they discovered me on my knees.
I walked through the kitchen as she directed. Instead of looking for a stool or grabbing the rice, she continued to point toward the direction of her bedroom. I shuffled forward awkwardly, my eyes on the phone. I almost wanted to take it from her to call for help but I also wanted to avoid the worst possible outcome. If I fought her on this, she could call the police on me. I should wait and trust that if the boys did discover I was in trouble, they would know the best way to get me out.
I stood just inside her bedroom door. My mother pushed me aside. Her touch at my arm had me cowering, afraid. How different her touches were from Nathan’s or Victor’s.
She marched to the closet doors, opening the one to the left. She stopped, her head reeling back. Something caught her off-guard. She stared into the space for several minutes. The door blocked my view. Was that her closet or his? I couldn’t remember. I was pretty sure it was his. Was it messy?
