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nipple as his finger strokes me. My thighs grow weak as I push myself up and down on him. I pull his face to mine and shove my tongue into his mouth as I grind myself against his fingers. He thrusts himself deeper inside me, hitting my core and crushing his hand between us. I pull his hand away and grind myself against his pelvis as I ride him, feeling the power trembling through our bodies as we clutch tightly to each other and climax together.
I rest my forehead against the top of his head as he kisses my shoulder. He moves onto my collarbone then kisses his way up to my mouth. We kiss like this for a long time, with him inside me, until I finally pull back.
I look him in the eye and ask the one question I’ve been afraid of knowing the answer to since we met. “Now that you know everything, can you still trust me?”
His chest is still heaving as he thinks about his answer and I lay my hand over his chest to feel his heartbeat. He grabs my hand and plants a soft kiss on my palm before he lays it back over his heart.
“I think I trusted you too easily,” he says, and my stomach clenches as I prepare myself for what he’s about to say. “But I wouldn’t give my heart to someone I didn’t trust. And you have my whole heart, Claire, so please be gentle with it.”
I kiss his forehead and look him in the eye. “I’ll be gentle. I wouldn’t want to crush my favorite olive.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Relentless Love
It took six days to pack up all my stuff, put it in storage, and convince the admissions counselor at UNC to take me back as a sophomore. Okay, it took five days to convince the admissions counselor and one day to pack, but I got it done with the help of the most amazing boyfriend a girl could ask for.
“Knock, knock,” Adam says as he writes KITCHEN on the box I just finished packing.
“Who’s there?” I say, snatching the marker from his hand and writing FRAGILE on the same box.
“Leopard.”
“Leopard, who?”
“Leopard with spots.”
I glare at him from across the box we’re both squatting next to. “You’re kidding? This is what you’re resorting to now?”
“Just making sure you’re paying attention. Here’s a good one.” He takes the marker from my hand and places it on the kitchen counter as he stands. “I’m going to start competing again.”
I stand up so I can look him in the eye. “Are you being serious now?” He nods and I pause for a moment before I throw my arms around his neck. “This is great! I’m so proud of you.”
He laughs as he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me onto the counter. “It’s not a big deal. It’s a small competition that takes place down in Florida at the end of this month. I’ll be gone for a couple of days so I won’t be able to see you that weekend.”
I try not to let the disappointment show on my face. Now that I’m going back to school, weekends are the only time I’ll be seeing Adam. He promised to drive from Wilmington to UNC every weekend—a two and a half hour drive. I know there will be times when both of us will have other plans or commitments and there may be times when we’ll go weeks without seeing each other, but it will be worth it. It will all be worth it when I have my degree and I’m given the chance to mend a child’s broken heart the way I wish someone had tried to fix mine.
“I wish I could be there to watch.”
“You can,” he says. “I can pick you up Friday night and we’ll be in Florida at least six hours before the first heat.”
“Yeah, with no sleep. I can’t let you go into your first competition with no rest.”
“What time does your last class end on Friday?”
“One.”
“See. We can make it to Florida by ten. I’ll get plenty of rest, assuming you can keep your hands off me.”
He wiggles his eyebrows and I shake my head.
“Adam, you don’t have to do this just to make me feel better about us being apart. I know there are going to be times when our schedules don’t mesh. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”
He sighs as he leans his head back. “I just don’t want us to get used to being apart.”
I hook my legs around his waist and pull him closer. “We’re going to be okay. We’re going to spend the whole week of Thanksgiving together and four weeks during Christmas and New Year’s. We’re going to get sick of each other.”
He doesn’t look convinced. He looks the way I feel.
“You’re assuming that I won’t have to go to Hawaii for work.”
I take a deep breath as I try to resist the urge to go into the bedroom and meditate. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“Ew! Are you guys having sex on the counter?” Senia squeals as she enters the apartment carrying a six-pack of beer and a six-pack of bottled water. “Well, don’t let me stop you. Merry Christmas,” she says, handing Adam the beer and me the water.
I slide off the counter and put the water down so I can give her a hug. “What did your dad say when you asked him for the day off?” I ask, cracking open a bottle of water and taking a long swig.
“He said if I took the day off he was going to fire me. That’s only the third time this week he’s used that one.”
“You’re such a spoiled brat,” I say, shaking my head as I reach for another bottle of water.
“Yes, I am, which is why my dad is not firing me. He’s buying me a new car.”
“Shut up!”
Adam rolls his eyes as he scoots past us. “I’m going to check on Cora.”
He scampers out of the apartment and leaves the door open on his way out. The storm that came the day of the concert has passed, leaving behind clear skies and a warm breeze that carries in the briny scent of the ocean.
Senia grabs a bottle of water and leans up against the counter. “Yep! My dad’s getting me a new car and I’m giving you the Focus.”
“I’m not taking your car.”
I grab the marker off the counter and march into the living room to label some more boxes. She follows me and sits on top of the first box I kneel in front of.
“You are taking my car or I’m pushing it over a cliff. You need it, Claire. Adam can’t always be the one making the effort to see you. A good relationship is a balance of give and take.”
“I can’t believe you want to give me your car just so I can see my boyfriend on the weekends.”
“Well, I didn’t say that was the only reason. The position of Senia’s designated driver still hasn’t been filled.” I push her off the box and she falls onto the floor, spilling water over the front of her halter-top. “Hey!” she squeals as she flings a splash of water in my direction.
The water hits me in the face and I suck in a sharp breath before I compose myself and run for the kitchen to get a retaliatory bottle of water. That’s when I see him standing just outside the front door.
Chris is wearing a Black Keys T-shirt and a gray beanie similar to the one he wore the day we met. His expression is serious as he stands with his hands behind his back and nods at me as if he can’t say the word hello aloud. I look to Senia and she’s dumbstruck as she gawks at him from where she sits on the floor. She’s met him plenty of times, but not since he became famous.
Chris turns to her and waves. “Hey, Senia.”
“Hhh-hey, Chris,” she replies.
He smiles awkwardly and turns back to me. “Claire.” The way he says my name makes my whole body ache. “Can we talk?”
We can’t talk here, with Adam across the hall.
“How did you find me?”
He doesn’t have to answer. He’s got money coming out of every orifice now. That was a stupid question.
“I have something I want to show you.” He pulls a large manila envelope out from behind his back.
A million possibilities race through my mind at once, but only one seems likely. “Follow me,” I say as I walk to the bedroom without looking at Senia.
I don’t want to know if she thinks inviting Chris into my b
edroom is a bad idea. I need to know what’s in this envelope because I know Chris wouldn’t come all the way out here if it weren’t important.
I close the door behind us as we enter my bedroom. The beds were here when I moved in so they’re staying behind when I move out. The mattresses look so bare without the sheets and blankets. I sit down and he hands me the envelope as he sits next to me.
I look at him for a moment in the daylight and try to determine what’s different about him. “You got rid of the nose ring?”
“Yeah, I took it out of my nose and popped it straight into my lip.”
“That’s gross.”
“You’re the one who had it in your mouth when you were kissing me.”
“You kissed me!”
“Is that the official story you told your boyfriend?”
“It’s the truth and his name is Adam.”
“Your face is wet,” he says as he reaches up and brushes a drop of water from my jaw.
The familiarity with which he touches me, the comfort and ease of reaching for someone who you once knew better than yourself, all of this is embedded in this single touch. The second his skin touches mine, a shudder travels through me.
I quickly push his hand away. “Don’t do that,” I whisper as I stare at the tattoos on his arms to keep myself from looking into his eyes.
Most of them I recognize, but there’s a new one on the inside of his right forearm that wasn’t there last year. I can only see half of it from this angle, but it’s definitely a shattered heart. I begin unfolding the metal clasps on the envelope and he puts his hand over mine to stop me.
“Wait. I need to explain first.” I push his hand away again and he leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “I felt really lost after you left on Friday. I’ve been feeling lost for a long time. I come home to visit every once in a while and you’re not there and my mom is a fucking saint, but—”
