AllFreeNovel
Share Us
know you’re gonna be there when it happens.”
She smiles weakly and grabs my hand. “I’m just so scared of leaving you all behind. The thought of leaving behind one more person …”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I know,” she replies quickly as she leans forward and stares at the surface of the table. “I think the depression is setting in. The doctor said it would come soon and to prepare myself for it, but I don’t even know how to be prepared for this.” She squeezes her eyes shut and I reach forward to grab her hand. “It just hit me so hard. I feel like I don’t know what to do with myself any more. My mind just goes in circles all day and I find myself in a different room of the house, not sure how or why I’m there.”
I’ve never seen Grandma Flo like this. It kills me to think that the last months of her life will be spent worrying about the people she’s leaving behind.
“I’m going to take care of Molly and the baby. Don’t you worry about them.”
“And the girl?”
“Who?”
“I know you never bring girls here any more, but I’d like to meet the girl who’s going to be the mother of my great-grandchild. I’d like to think you’re going to take care of her, too.” She fixes me with a stern look and I can’t help but smile.
“You’ve already met her.” She looks surprised, so I continue before she can question me. “It’s Senia, Claire’s best friend. She came over a few years ago for Molly’s birthday.”
“I don’t remember her.”
“Well, when you meet her again you’ll never forget her.”
She pulls my hand to her chest and hugs it as if it’s a precious gift. “Thank you for coming here to tell me. When are you bringing her over?”
“Actually, she was here last week while you were asleep.” I take a deep breath and brace myself for the inevitable regret that will come from speaking the words I’m about to say. “But she’s moving in with me next weekend. Do you think you might want to come over with Molly?”
“To … to your house?”
I get a sharp pain in my chest at the sight of her uncertainty. I wish I didn’t have to keep my address a secret from Grandma and Molly – they’re just too easily influenced by Elaine. But I can’t keep being so cautious. I need to show Grandma and Moon that I trust them.
“Yeah, to my house. Senia or I will pick you both up next Saturday. Is that okay?”
“Is that okay? Oh, Tristan, that is not just okay. Those are the most beautiful words I’ve heard in months. I can’t wait to see your house. I’m …” She pauses to collect herself. “I’m so proud of you. You know that, don’t you? Everything you’ve done this year. You’ve made me so proud. And now this … You’ve made me the happiest old woman in the world.”
I smile as I realize that this news has done exactly what I wanted it to do. It’s given Grandma a small thread of hope that she can hold onto for the next few months. I only hope that Molly will feel the same way.
I arrive at the pub at 7.15 p.m., just as Link is setting out two frosty pints of beer in front of Chris. As usual, Chris is sitting in the last seat at the end of the bar. When he sees me, he throws me a curt nod. He’s still not over what happened at the pancake house.
“Hey, man,” I mutter as I take a seat next to him. “Is this Pliny?”
“What else would it be?”
We sit in silence for probably five minutes, but it feels like an hour. I don’t know if there’s anything I can say to Chris that would make this situation less awkward. Then he says something that makes me feel even more awful.
“They blew us off. There won’t be an open adoption. We got the letter this morning.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry, man. I don’t know what to say. I thought that telling you about … about Senia was the right thing to do. I fucked up.”
“Why? It’s not like…”
I have a feeling he was about to say, It’s not like you can keep the pregnancy a secret. We all know that’s not true. Chris and Claire are living proof of what happens when you hide a pregnancy.
“It doesn’t matter,” Chris continues, then takes a long swig of his beer. “It’s over. Abigail isn’t going to know us. But it’s just the beginning for you two. Don’t do what I did. Don’t fuck it up.”
I stare at the rising bubbles in my glass as I try to absorb these words. “I won’t.”
Chapter Sixteen
Senia
I can’t believe I’m moving off-campus … for a guy! What have I become? Eddie asked me to move in with him at least a dozen times over the summer and I never caved. Just once was all it took from Tristan’s oh-so-suckable lips and now I’m glancing around my cleaned-out dorm room to see if I’ve forgotten anything. There is no hope for me.
I throw an almost-empty bottle of pear-scented hand lotion into the waste bin then I sit on the edge of my bed and lie back to stare at the ceiling. Claire walks in and smiles as she catches me rubbing my belly, but I can see the months of regret etched in that smile as well as the weariness from this past week she’s spent grieving the loss of Abigail.
“Tristan and Chris should be done unloading everything in an hour. Want to grab a bite to eat on the way there? You must be hungry after all that packing.”
I want to tell her it’s not fair that I get to have a baby just as she and Chris have lost theirs, but I don’t want to slow any progress she’s made since she received the news on Sunday. The open adoption they had their hearts set on is not going to happen. They will never have a chance to know the daughter Claire gave up for adoption in April unless, by some merciful twist of fate, the adoptive parents change their minds or their daughter decides to track them down when she turns eighteen. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to lose a child whose body you’ve snuggled in your arms, whose name you’ve whispered in your sleep.
“How about we just lie here and talk about boys? For old time’s sake.”
She lies down next to me and I hook my arm in hers as we stare at the ceiling and talk about everything we’ve been too busy to talk about for the past few weeks. She gives me all the gritty details about the first night she spent with Chris a couple of weeks ago and I tell her about the brief, yet satisfying, conversation I had with Eddie a few days ago where I told him to “Delete my number from your phone and try to slam your tiny cock in a heavy door.” When the conversation runs thin, we head over to Tristan’s house in Cary – my home in Cary.
Chris and Claire don’t hang around because she has too much studying to do, and I don’t know why Chris thinks this is so funny, so we say our goodbyes out on the curved driveway then I head back into the house. I find Tristan upstairs, ripping the tape off my moving boxes.
“Are you going to unpack my things, too?” I ask as I take a seat on the low platform bed in this guest room. Tristan’s house has five bedrooms and eight bathrooms. That’s just ridiculous.
He glances at me over his shoulder as I lie back and his gaze slides over me, pausing a bit too long at my chest. “Which box has the stuff from your goodie drawer?”
I laugh and the sly grin on his face makes my heart stutter. “There’ll be none of that,” I say, grabbing a fluffy white pillow and hugging it to hide my chest. “I need to unpack and study. Get out of here.”
“Don’t you want to shower?”
For a moment, I can’t breathe as I imagine Tristan naked and dripping wet. I shake my head to loosen the image then I stand from the bed. “Actually, yes, I’d love to take a shower.” I grab my make-up case and my handbag where I stuffed a plastic bag containing all my toiletries. “I know where the bathroom is.”
He grabs the back of my T-shirt before I can leave the bedroom. “You can use the shower in the master bath. It’s much bigger.”
I wriggle away from him and step aside so he can lead me to the master bedroom. My pulse is pounding in every part of my body as I follow him down the hallway and into a bedroom so huge I’m certain I could fit six
dorm rooms in here. He leads me past the modern furnishings and I discreetly glance inside his walk-in closet. It’s a little messy, but there’s definitely enough room in there for my clothes.
Stop it, Senia!
“Why are you grinning?” he asks me as we enter the master bathroom.
“No reason. Just excited to get clean and get some studying done.”
He shows me how to turn on the shower and he stays until he’s certain the water is the right temperature. “The handheld shower-head has a pulse-mode,” he says with a wink.
As soon as I’m cleaned up and changed into something that doesn’t smell like the inside of our ancient closet in the dorm, I make my way downstairs with my book bag and my cell phone. I pull my laptop out of the bag and sit back on the sofa in the living room to get some work done. I don’t know where Tristan is, but I don’t have time to care.
My phone rings as I’m opening my laptop and I’m not at all surprised to see it’s Tristan. “What?”
“Want to play hide-and-seek?”
“Very funny.”
“I’m serious. I’ll let you hide first. The refrigerator is home base. I’ll count to thirty.”
He hangs up and I roll my eyes as I try to think of a good reason to play hide-and-seek with Tristan that has nothing to do with sex. Finally, I close my laptop and set it down on the coffee table.
