I didn't know what I would do without her. I was a lonely creature.
She was the only thing I had. And she was everything to me.
???
Age 12
Things became different as years passed. Morgan used to be very attentive to me and looked at me like I was the most beautiful human being in the world, but then, the adoration in her eyes wasreplaced by something that I couldn't really identify. Something like a mixture of ambition, impatience and insecurity.
One morning, I was having breakfast with Morgan when she suddenly snatched my cereal away from me.
"Enough," she snapped. "You'll get fat."
My stomach growled. I knew that she most probably wouldn't let me, but I decided to take a chance.
I whispered, "But I'm still hungry—"
"You've had your salad," she reminded me, turning away from me before throwing my food into the sink.
Right. That salad had barely been one-quarter of a small plate. I watched as Morgan settled back in her seat in front of me, resuming eating her pancakes with bacon and eggs.
My mouth watered as I eyed her food. It had been weeks since I’d had my favorite meal.
Morgan glanced up at me, noticing me watching her with envy, and she said sharply, "Not until your tummy is flat, Cassie."
I looked down at my tummy. My friends in school told me that it was the flattest tummy that they'd ever seen. How flat did she want it to be?
I sighed in desperation. That moment, I finally realized the huge change in the way she thought of me. That no matter what I did, I was never beautiful enough in her eyes.
And that to gain her love, I had to be.
???
Age 13
My heart thumped in excitement when I heard the front door being opened that Friday night. I'd been waiting for Morgan to come home from work since I finished school in the afternoon.
When she closed the door behind her, taking off her heels, I rushed to her.
"Are we really going to watch the ballet performance tonight?" I was breathless at the end of my sentence because there was so much anticipation building up inside me.
Morgan smiled.
"Of course we are. I bought you a new dress so that you can wear it for the event later." She handed me a shopping bag, surprising me. "It will be a huge performance, so it would be good for you to wear something formal and elegant."
I squealed in delight, taking out a midnight blue dress from the shopping bag. A loud gasp escaped from my mouth. The dress was so pretty. "This is beautiful. Thank you. I love it so much."
Morgan smiled. "It's your birthday present, Cassie."
My heart was filled with so much joy that I felt like it could explode out of my chest. I'd been anticipating this day for a month. Morgan had promised to watch the ballet together on my birthday, and we could finally do it tonight after she came back from work.
I rushed into my room to change, while she walked into her room to get ready herself.
When I walked out of my room to meet Morgan in the foyer, a horrible feeling stirred inside me. I was already dressed in the new dress that Morgan had just bought for me.
It was the prettiest dress that I'd ever worn, but there was one problem. I couldn't zip the side of the dress fully—it was too small and tight for me.
I wonder whether Morgan had mistakenly chosen a size for a 10-year-old because there was no way that this dress would fit a middle schooler like me.
