I began to panic and looked at her in horror. She was already dressed up too, clutching her bag, ready to leave. "I think something is wrong with this dress. The size doesn't fit me. It's too small."
She smiled down at me, but there was something about it that made me shudder. Her smile was beautiful, but her eyes were so cold that it felt like a sarcastic smile instead.
She stared down at the zipper at the side of my dress and triedto help me close it but to no avail. A knowing sigh left her lips.
"There's nothing wrong with the dress. But there's definitely something wrong with your body. Did you just gain weight?" she asked curtly.
I froze. I bet that Morgan could see that my face paled.
I hadn't checked my weight again recently, but I'd eaten some chocolate that a guy from my class had given me this week. Was it because of that?
Anger crossed Morgan's expression. "You foolish girl. Didn't I tell you to stop eating chocolate? Of course this beautiful dress is not going to fit you if you've turned into a pig."
Her words stabbed my heart like a knife.
"You're not going to come with me to watch the ballet," she stated, her voice firm. "You're just going to embarrass me in front of my friends."
I grabbed her arm, but she pushed me away.
"No, please," I begged, fear engulfing me. I'd been dying to go with her since the moment she told me about this plan, and I didn't want her to leave me just like that. "I want to come with you. Please, take me with you. I promise I won't eat the whole day tomorrow. I'm sorry. I've made a mistake."
"No, Cassie," she barked. "You're grounded. And don't wait for me to come home because I'm staying at Sylvia's house tonight. Looking at you again will only make my blood boil."
She dragged me toward my bedroom, and once we reached it, she pushed me inside so I fell onto the floor.
Then she slammed the door shut and locked it. Abruptly, I got up and turned the doorknob, but it was no use. I banged the door with my palm.
"No, please," I cried, wishing that she would come back and forgive me. "Please, Morgan. Don't leave me," I yelled.
I cried, and I cried, but I knew that I was only wasting my energy.
And that was how I spent my 13th birthday. Alone, locked inmy room, heart shattered. As Morgan had said, she didn't come back until the day after, during lunchtime, already making me starving from skipping two meals.
And sadly, I thought that I deserved that. Because I wasn't beautiful enough in her eyes.
???
Age 15
"I think I'm going to join the cheer team at school," I said to Morgan as we sat at the dining table.
Most of my friends told their parents about their days at school during dinner and I wanted to have that kind of moment with Morgan.
Unfortunately, she had very little interest in it.
"How come?" she asked, not moving her eyes off her plate.
I smiled, remembering the cheer team performance earlier at school to promote their squad—they totally killed it.
I felt excited just wondering how fun it would be to have a new experience with them. "I saw the announcement that they're opening the recruitment for new members, since the seniors are graduating soon."
"And do you think that you're beautiful enough to be a cheerleader?" Morgan finally looked up from her plate, shifting her attention to me, but her sentence instantly made the smile on my face vanish. "You're too fat to be on the cheer team."
A sudden pain sliced my heart again. I never knew that we had to be super skinny to join the cheer team. There was no requirement for that.
But I had to admit that they were all talented. I didn't have that talent—I just wanted to learn. If I was fat and untalented, would I only humiliate them?
"You're just going to be a joke in the eyes of every student inyour school." Morgan stood up from her chair, already finished with her dinner, while I just realized that I hadn't even touched my food.
