“You didn’t call meeither.”
“Not because I didn’t want to! You’d made it obvious you wanted to avoid me. That Halloween had made youuncomfortable.”
“Because Iwas…”
“Freaked out? By the kiss? Yeah, shockingly enough, I got that loud and clear. But I don’t think talking about it is going to help anything anymore. We’ve moved past it now. I am going on a date with Mark.” Drew’s voice was nearly pleading. “So there is nothing to talkabout.”
“You’rewrong.”
“No! No, for the first time in a while, I’m thinking very clearly, Sebastian. We arefriends.Whatever alternate universe you think you glimpsed when we kissed,you’re not gay. And it would be a really shitty idea for us to dwell on that one event when what we need to do is move on. Get back to where we used tobe.”
“Where we used to be.” Bas spoke slowly, like he was pondering this. “You know, Drew, I wonder if the reason you never talked to me about the guys you dated was the same reason I never talked to you aboutAmy.”
Drew’s heart pounded frantically, and his eyes flew to Sebastian’sface.
“We both knew it wasn’t right,” Bas whispered. “I’m straight.” He swallowed hard and stood up, just a foot away from Drew. “But tonight when I saw that text from Mark, I was fucking jealous. Jealous at the idea of you being out with him. I think maybe that was part of my problem with Gary too. And maybeAmy…”
“We’re not talking about Amy.” Drew’s stomach lurched with that dreadful combination of grief and relief he felt when he thought of his sister. He’d have given his life to save her, but only because that meant he wouldn’t have to see her live her life withBas.
“I don’t know what any of this means,” Bas continued, ignoring Drew’s objections. “I have no conclusions, just facts and thoughts and… and I want to kiss you again. The right way, thistime.”
Drew gaped at him. His eyes flicked to the television as he momentarily considered the possibility thathehad been dragged into an alternate reality, or had perhaps fallenasleep.
And yet, even in his wildest dreams, he couldn’t have conjured the sensation of Sebastian’s finger running up from his wrist to his elbow, then dipping under the hem of his t-shirt to hook in his waistband and pull him closer; of Bas cupping Drew’s jaw with his other hand so, so gently, as though Drew might shatter or run away; of Bas pressing his lips - warm and strange andsomehow familiar- againstDrew’s.
Drew’s stomach flipped the way it did on a rollercoaster. His heart was in freefall, the ground was rushing up to meet his face, and it was going to hurt so badly when he hit. But he still fisted his hands on the sides of Bas’s t-shirt and let himselffly.
