I bowed my head, unable to stand the sight. “Did I do this to you?”
She combed her fingers through my hair. “No, sweetie. This is Michael’s doing, not yours.”
“But I’m draining you each time I use my power.” It wasn’t a question. I already knew the answer and needed to voice the horrendous words out loud.
“As I’ve been draining you to survive in my coma state.”
I whipped my head up. “But that’s okay! I’m okay with that! We’re going to kill Michael and save you. You just need to hang on for a couple more days.”
Her face tightened into her no-nonsense expression. “How many times have you needed Sam to save you from Divine Wasting?”
“That doesn’t matter. I’ve been fine since Lucifer has been giving you more energy.”
My mother jerked back as if I’d slapped her. “No, it’s notfine. I’m slowly killing you, and now your father too.”
“I’ll just stop using my powers. Then you can take more of our energy, and you’ll be okay until we can kill Michael,” I said, trying to convince her and myself.
“Lucy,” she said softly, pulling me close.
I resisted. I knew that tone.
It was the same tone she used when our dog ran away and never came back. The same one she used after I got sent to the principal’s office for punching the kids who mocked my eyes. She hadn’t scolded me then. Just held me and gently explained the way of the world.
“Listen to me.” She wrapped me in her warmth.
I breathed her in and squeezed my stinging eyes shut, keeping my arms by my side. I couldn’t hug her yet. I didn’t accept this.
“You are my greatest joy.” Her voice cracked.
“Stop!” I jerked back, quickly wiping the tears that had escaped. “This isn’t goodbye.”
But she continued, ignoring my outburst. “There’s a lot you still don’t know, and I can’t bear to tell you it all now. But once I held you in my arms, I knew I had to do everything I could to keep you hidden,and I might’ve gone too far. I know that now, and I’m so sorry for taking so much of your life away.”
“Just stop,” I pleaded through the ache in my throat.
“I’m sorry, Lucille.”
My lip wobbled when a few tears trailed down her cheeks. My mom rarely cried in front of me. I could count on one hand how many times it had happened in the last twenty years. She always wanted to protect me from her pain—from everything.
“It’s okay.” And it was. Earth wasn’t all darkness and abuse. There had been joy, laughter, even wonder woven between all the suffering.
“But it’s not, sweetie. You deserved to grow, and I didn’t allow that because I was scared. I was so scared. I still am.”
“I forgive you for the past. But don’t you dare give up now.” She pulled me back against her chest and rocked me in her arms. “I’ll find Michael. Please, just hold on.”
“Sweetie, you have been through so much. You traveled through Elora and survived not only its inhabitants but also capture. You lived through Michael’s torture. You’ve persevered in Hell’s military. And not once have you given up on me or yourself.”
“I don’t know how to give up.”
She grasped my shoulders and pushed me back. “Exactly. And I never want you to. Do you hear me? Ineverwant you to give up on yourself.” She tilted her head, her eyes glassy as she touched my face. “You are Lucille Chiara, my beautiful daughter, born from an Archangel and the King of Hell. You, my heart, are a warrior. Asurvivor. And I’m so proud of you.”
A sob worked its way up my throat. I clenched my teeth, trying to stay strong for her, but I couldn’t stop the stream of fresh tears.
She brushed my cheeks, and I brushed hers.
“Mom, please,” I begged her.
“Whenyou wake, I only ask two things of you.”
