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The name of the store should be Whimsy’s or Whimsical or Octavia’s . . . I Don’t Really Care. That was all this was. She’d never admit that was true. When you’re enabled and rescued time and again you don’t have to look at yourself. It’s like a mirror without any glass. All you see is your next big screw up.
“I’m starving. Have you found anywhere good to eat?”
“My grandpops,” was my response. She knew it would be. Just like I knew she would scrunch her nose in distaste.
“No thanks. I’ll Google it. Go wash up and let’s take Bliss to have a decent lunch. I need to keep her around.”
“Bliss likes grandpops,” I shot back. That was asking for trouble. But damn if Octavia didn’t suddenly annoy me and it only took twenty fucking minutes.
She didn’t even turn back. “Of course she does. She’s simple.”
Then she walked through the door to the front of the store, her high and mighty completely intact.
Bliss wasn’t simple. Not by a long shot.
I went to the restroom, washed my hands then stared at myself in the mirror. I needed mental preparation for this. To remind myself why I chose Octavia and why Bliss wasn’t a fit. I had no place in my heart or future for all that Bliss would require. And if I admitted that . . . the idea that I could let myself love her and then have her cancer come back, scared the shit out of me.
That would break me into pieces. I wasn’t willing to be broken or made that vulnerable, which was selfish and all about my safety, the most fucking selfish thought I’d ever had and I was pretty damn sure I’d had plenty. But it was true and I accepted my truths. I didn’t pretend to be noble. At least not anymore . . .
Seven years ago . . .
I was early. Bliss told me to meet her at our spot on the beach around ten this morning. It was nine thirty. I didn’t want her to get here before me. Not after yesterday. She’d let me kiss her and it was hands down the best kiss I’d ever had. Not that I’d had that many. And I wasn’t counting Lila Kate. Neither one of us had kissed anyone before three years ago when we decided to practice on one other. It grossed us both out. Like kissing a sibling. Didn’t happen again.
Kissing Bliss had been amazing. She smelled like the coconut in her tanning oil along with something else. It was unique to her and I couldn’t get enough of it. When I leaned in to kiss her last night I was afraid she’d push me away. She hadn’t. She’d slipped her hands up my arms and linked her fingers behind my neck. It’d been hard to let go after that.
So this morning I’m waiting on her. Making sure she knew that the kiss meant a lot, that she was special and that I loved her. I hadn’t really thought love was possible until you were older and experienced. I realized I was wrong. My heart was so damn tight when I looked at her that it ached when she walked away. I wasn’t sure there was any definitive thing that could explain what love was. To me this was my definition.
“You’re Nate Finlay aren’t you?” I turned to see a girl whose body advertised that she was at least eighteen. Her boobs were about to spill from her bikini. They were the biggest I’d seen close up. Her long blonde hair was thrown over her shoulder and the tanned skin she so generously exposed was shiny with oil and early sweat. If I hadn’t grown up on a beach then this might be exciting. But I was a Finlay and in my world I had this in my face quite often, especially at the country club.
I wasn’t sure how the girl knew my name. I shrugged my shoulders and glanced back down the beach looking for Bliss with urgency. “Yeah, but I don’t know you.”
She giggled and I cringed. I didn’t like the gigglers. They annoyed the shit out of me. Bliss didn’t do the flirty giggle thing. Two years back that was the primary reason Bliss became attractive to me. Of course, after raw beauty.
“My grandparents are members of The Kerrington Club. I normally spend a month each summer in Rosemary Beach with them. I’ve seen you there.”
The two beaches were only two and a half hours apart. But seriously, the place had to follow me here? Jesus.
“Well now,” I replied. “Now you see me here.” I tried my hardest to sound like an asshole so she’d leave before Bliss got here. I didn’t need her walking up to me while talking to Miss Big Tits, especially after last night’s kiss.
