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I shoved my cell into my shorts pocket and dropped my legs, mimicking Viper’s pose. With no one else around, we stared out at the water, listening to the sound of waves crashing. Had we ever just sat like this? Still and quiet, not saying a word?
The longer we sat there, the more the anxious thoughts about what Imogen had heard left me. My shoulders relaxed; I was content to have the stable force that was Viper sitting beside me.
“I was eight when I told my parents I was in love with one of the boys in my class.” His words came from out of nowhere, but it was clear he’d been thinking over what to say.
I smiled slightly. “You? In love?”
“Believe it or not, my heart wasn’t so black when I was a kid.”
“Who was he?”
“Hiroji Onaga. His family had moved from Japan at the start of the school year, and I guess I found him fuckin’ fascinating.”
“Enough to come out to your parents, huh?”
Viper’s lips twisted. “You wouldn’t think it’d be such a surprise. I was a flashy kid. Into music. Never into girls.”
“I would’ve liked to see a young, flashy Viper,” I said. “How’d they handle it?”
“Mom knew. She always knew.” A faraway look entered Viper’s eyes as he stared ahead.
“And your dad?”
“You could say that was the catalyst in a long, messy divorce.” When he saw the shock on my face, he lifted a shoulder. “He’d rather have no kid than a gay kid, and I’d rather have no dad than a homophobic asshole.”
“Shit, Viper. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. I helped Mom pack his shit.”
“And you never had a relationship with him after that?”
“Never even heard from him again.” He glanced at me and shook his head. “Don’t look so sad, Angel. It happens. We’re better off.”
God, I couldn’t even imagine what that would be like. To show who you are to someone you love and to have them reject you in that way. Viper had only been a kid, and he hadn’t deserved a father who deserted him. No one deserved that.
“So I can understand why you wouldn’t wanna say anything,” Viper continued. “You said you’re tight with your family. I get it.”
I frowned, looking for what he was really saying. “But it bothers you? Tell me the truth.”
As I studied Viper’s profile, I found myself holding my breath. From the day I’d met him, I’d sought his approval, and I found myself wanting it now. If he was disappointed in me, would it change anything? And if he wasn’t affected, would that bother me more?
God, when had things become so complicated?
Twenty-Six
Viper
“VIPER?” HALO’S VOICE found me over the waves that lapped upon the sand and chased each other into the shore as I sat beside him looking out at the fading sunlight. When I’d come down here looking for him, I had one goal in mind: find the angel and convince him to come and spend an hour in the guesthouse before heading up to the mansion for dinner.
But instead, I’d stumbled on him mid-conversation with his sister—a sister he’d hidden me from—and now I found myself sitting on the sand staring out at the water ahead of us, hoping that he didn’t reach for me, because I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t jerk away.
Fuck. When had I let this get away from me? When had I started to…care this much?
“Hey,” Halo said, and I didn’t need to look his way to know he was staring at me. Probably wondering when I’d lost the ability to speak. “If I said something I shouldn’t—”
“You didn’t.” I finally made myself talk, and turned to look his way. “I just don’t have anything to really say about this. It’s not my decision to make.”
“Okaaay…” Halo said, the hurt at my blunt dismissal exactly what I’d been aiming for.
But when Halo bent his legs as if he was about to get up and leave me sitting there, which was exactly what I deserved, I reached out, put a hand on his leg, and said, “Shit. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Then why did you?”
I shrugged. “Because I’m an asshole.”
Halo said nothing as he searched my face—looking for what, I had no clue. But when he swallowed and raised his hand to put it over the top of mine where it rested on his thigh, I shook my head. “I’m not good at this, Angel. Fuck.” I gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I think it’s safe to say I’m horrible at it.”
“What’s that?”
“This,” I said, gesturing between us. “Talking.”
“I don’t know. You seem to have a pretty good handle on the English language.”
I rolled my eyes. “Smartass. You know what I mean. I’m not good at talking about my feelings. About opening up to others.”
Halo stretched his legs out in front of him again, and once he was settled back in place, he said, “Would it help to know you make me nervous as hell?”
