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As I stared into Killian’s eyes, I could see that he really believed what he was saying—that it would be easy as that for us to hook up, share a bed, and let things run their course.
But I knew better. I’d been there, done that. Hence the rules.
“I wish it could be that easy,” I said, and meant it. There was nothing I wanted more than to go back to my hotel room with Killian. “But it’s not. You have to see that.”
Killian picked his menu up. “All I see is a man who keeps denying himself what he clearly wants. Why, Levi? And don’t give me that bullshit professional answer of yours. Tell me the truth.”
I licked my suddenly dry lips and knew I needed to just tell him about my past. It wasn’t as though Killian would fire me once he found out. But at the same time, I hated that I had to share this mistake with him. That I had to admit how naive I’d once been. Even now I still found the whole thing…humiliating.
“Okay, I’ll tell you. But then you have to promise to let it go.”
“No way. That’s not how this works.”
“Professional dater, are you?”
“Actually, I’ve never been on a real date before. You’re my first.”
I studied Killian’s serious expression. “What about before me? I know you saw people.”
Killian shrugged, “All casual fu—”
I chuckled. “All casual fucks, huh?”
“Geez, Levi, I was trying to be polite.”
“Since when?”
Killian leaned forward, and the candlelight flickered over his skin, adding to his stunning looks. “Since tonight. I’m trying to impress you.”
I grinned. “Is that right?”
“It is… So?”
As I stared into his twinkling blue eyes, I forgot about my rules and all the reasons I had them. “So what?”
The smile that appeared was full of sin and sex. “Are you impressed?”
God, I was in so much trouble here. If I was smart, I’d demand to be taken back to the hotel—now. But I wasn’t. And I didn’t. “Yes. But—”
“No buts.” Killian tongued his lower lip. “But let’s order. The quicker we do that, the quicker you can tell me why you keep saying no when your eyes are screaming yes.”
I swallowed back my automatic denial as Killian raised his hand, and before I knew it, David was taking our orders.
If someone had asked me what I had decided on to eat right then, I couldn’t have told them. I was too busy trying to work out how to explain my past to Killian without making myself sound like a fool. I might have been young and dumb back then, but I still had my pride, and I didn’t want him to see me as anything other than fucking perfect. Something I clearly wasn’t in the story I had to tell.
As if he could read my mind, Killian sat back in his seat, adopting the cool and casual disposition he was so well known for, and waited for me to talk—damn it.
There was no getting out of this. I knew I was stubborn, but over the last few months Killian had definitely given me a run for my money. Still was, judging by the silence that was lingering between us.
“My rules,” I started, and then reached for the glass of Pinot Noir in front of me, knowing I’d need a drink sooner rather than later. “They’re there for a reason, Killian. I didn’t just make them up when I agreed to manage Fallen Angel.”
Killian rested a hand on the table and smoothed his fingers over the cloth. He had nice hands, big, strong fingers, and the longer I sat there looking at them, the more I realized I wanted to feel them on me—every single part of me—tonight.
But we weren’t there yet, and we might never be.
“Okay,” Killian said. “So what happened?” When I stared at him, trying to find the right words to say, Killian touched his fingers to mine. “Who broke your heart, Levi?”
I blinked at him, my mind completely blown that he’d zeroed in so quickly on what was happening here, but then again, no one could accuse Killian of being stupid.
“Tell me, so I can go and kick his ass.”
My lips twitched. “You almost sound serious.”
“I am.” Killian’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Just give me his name, and I’ll take care of him.” Killian paused. “I assume it was a him?”
I snorted. “Of course it was a him.”
“Ah ha! So that is the reason for these strict-ass rules of yours. Some douchebag did break your heart.”
I let out a sigh and slipped my hand away from his to rub it over my face. Here goes nothing. “Not so much my heart. More my pride. My ego.”
As I was about to launch into the whole sordid affair, David appeared with two plates and slid them onto the table in front of us.
