Bailey snorted before speaking again, “Thank you for explaining that to me. I’m realizing that I’ve never really asked you about your anxiety, much less what helps it. You’ve always seemed like you had such a good handle on it, so I assumed you didn’t need any help. I’m sorry for not checking in on you.”
I cleared my throat to push down the emotions that sat heavy there. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I never said something before now.”
We talked a little bit more and I explained the coping mechanisms that worked well for me and why they worked. Bailey took it all in, asking questions here and there that were very kind and respectful. By the end of my explanation, I was feeling just as empowered as when I’d told my parents. Right as I was about to end the call, Bailey stopped me.
“There’s something you need to know.” His voice took on a more serious tone.
“What is it?”
“Brooks is going to be moving back to Westwend.”
I felt a surge that was equal parts excitement and apprehension at the idea of my eldest brother coming back to town. Brooks had practically sworn to never set foot back inside the city limits unless it was just a twenty-four hour stay to see our parents.
“Wow, do you know when?”
Bailey sighed, the sound deep and weary. “I have no idea, honestly. He just shot me a text saying he was making plans tomove back, but didn’t respond to any of my follow-up questions.”
Classic Brooks. This was likely another one of his spur-of-the-moment ideas, and he was just going to figure it out as he went.
It wasn’t long after that Bailey and I said our goodbyes. Our talk had really settled something inside of me that I hadn’t known was out of place. Bailey had a way of doing that for me though, and I took a moment to appreciate how lucky I was to have that kind of connection with him. With Brooks moving back to town, it could be a good opportunity for us to work on our relationship. It wasn’t like it was bad or strained, but it felt distant in a way I’d always assumed was because of my anxiety. But after things shifted between the twins, it had me wondering if Brooks had more going on than he ever let on. Hopefully this change would do some good for us all.
CHAPTER 21
Derek
The cool waterfelt so refreshing as I slid my hand through it lazily, making me contemplate slipping my whole body beneath the surface. Next to me, Lucy was lying on her stomach and let out a content sigh as she shifted to move her face from direct sunlight. When I’d arrived at my parents’ place earlier, she had practically thrown my things into my room before demanding we lay out by the pool in their backyard. I’d barely had time to greet Toni and Dad before I was ushered into changing.
Part of me wanted to remind her that I now lived where water-related activities were the main attraction, so sunbathing and swimming were all I’d been doing. But, this trip was about spending time with her before her senior year began.
The home my parents lived in was the same one they’d been in since they married, nestled in the same quiet suburban neighborhood that had raised Lucy. The areas of town surrounding their place, which had once felt suffocatingly small when I was a teenager, looked totally different after having been away. It now felt practically metropolitan with its multi-light roads and over-abundance of fast food chains.
My drive had been pretty uneventful, reminding me of the one I took to Westwend just a few months ago. It was hard to believe how much had changed in such a short amount of time. But, none of it felt unnatural or too soon. Realizing my sexuality and falling in love with a man all in the span of two months was going to sound insane to my family, but I knew it was real. There was a sense of rightness that came over me thinking of the life I was building with Colton. We hadn’t talked about what our future looked like, but I caught myself daydreaming more than once about where we’d be ten, twenty, or thirty years from now. That day I’d burned my hand had made me realize how good of a dad he’d be. The way he’d fussed and cared for me, with such gentle tenderness had made me feel beyond cherished. And the thought of Colton chasing after a little version of himself never failed to bring a smile to my lips.
Coming out to my family was the first step in making that dream a reality. And telling Lucy was the first priority. Her reaction would carry over into how things with our parents went.
My heart hammered heavily against my chest as I situated myself into a seated position on the inflatable lounger beside her. I’d told Colton I wasn’t worried about Lucy’s reaction, since I’d been sure she’d have no issues with me dating a man, but so close to admitting it out loud had nerves rolling deep in my belly.
“Hey, Luce. There’s something I wanted to tell you.” I started, licking my dry lips.
“Mmm?” She didn’t make any move to face me.
“I’m dating someone, and I wanted you to be the first one to know.” I said, trying to keep my tone even.
She startled, the float beneath her sinking into the water as she awkwardly adjusted herself to look at me without falling off face first. I could feel sweat forming on the back of my neck as she pulled hersunglasses off her face. Fuck, why was I so nervous?
“How long?” She asked, her face eerily blank and setting off a whole different set of alarm bells in my head.
“Not long, just a few weeks.” I said, my eyebrows scrunching together at the way her body relaxed at my response. “Why? What’s going on Luce?”
She chewed on her lower lip, tilting her head to the side.
“Mom and I got into a fight recently.” She started, her voice sounding small.
“What about?” I asked when she didn’t elaborate further.
She puffed her cheeks out. “I’d been complaining that I hadn’t really heard from you much since you moved. At first she’d tried to tell me that you were likely just busy getting settled. But I’d argued that you hadn’t been this way before when you’d moved off to college or gotten a new job out there.” She paused, glancing at me quickly before continuing on.
“Anyway, I kept harping on about it and I guess she got tired of it, so she snapped that things between us weren’t always going to be like when I was younger. She told me that once you found someone and settled down, they were going to be your priority. She apologized later for the way she talked to me, and explained that while I was always going to be important to you, dynamics between people often shift as we go into different phases of our lives.” The way she phrased that last part sounded so much like Toni, I could almost hear it in her voice.
