If only Mother was still here. She could help him be good. Save him from the darkness.
Movement out of the corner of his eye drew his attention to the tents over on the other side of the gulley. The men had returned. Would Anna?
She was so kind to him.
Mother’s voice floated through his mind, stopping him in his tracks. “You’re a good person deep down, Julian. Don’t let the dark take over. Be good.”
Be good.
There was still hope for him. Anna Lakeman was good. She could help him. He knew it in the depths of his heart.
He would do anything for her.
Anything.
The rest of the summer at home would be heartbreaking without Caleb’s presence, but Joshua took solace in the fact that he was here with his family during this difficult time. Bone weary and in desperate need of a bath, he’d finally come home yesterday evening to sleep for the night. Something he hadn’t done since his nephew had gone missing. After sleeping for ten hours straight, he’d washed up, shaved, and headed toward the kitchen.
The house held an eerie quiet this morning. His sister and brother-in-law were in the parlor with Mom and Dad. Little comfort could be given right now.
There was a pot of coffee on the back of the stove, so he filled himself a cup and stared out the kitchen window unwilling to think there was no hope. But the more his mind went over the situation, the more his physician training kicked facts and statistics into the center of his attention.
God, You are God of the impossible, but I can’t see past the grief in frontof me. Hope doesn’t even seem fathomable. Forgive mefor my lack of faith. A miracle would be mostwelcome to my family, Lord.
The silence was broken by gut-wrenching wails.
Martha. His sister had always been stronger than the rest of them. He wasn’t sure if it was being the firstborn, or if she was simply made of sterner stuff. Hearing her break now was enough to send a tremor through Joshua’s bones.
Father, give me Your strength to help my family through this.He squeezed his eyes against the tears that burned in thecorners and took another sip of coffee. Would the nightmare ever end?
“Why? Why Caleb?” His sister’s voice echoed throughout the house. She’d shed a few tears when Caleb first went missing, but this was the first time he’d heard her sob like this. Joshua’s heart threatened to crack in two at the sound of it.
“Mornin’, son.” Dad’s gravelly voice made him turn from the window.
“Morning.” One look at his father’s face told him the man hadn’t slept.
Swollen and red-rimmed, Dad’s eyes conveyed the weight of the sorrow of this family. He walked over and wrapped his arms around Joshua. He held on for several seconds. “I love you, son.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
His father patted his shoulder. “I hate that these are the circumstances, but I’m glad you’re home. At least for a little while.” His jaw clenched. “I need to get out to take care of the cattle.” Dad swiped at his face.
“Do you need help?” Anything to get out of the house and away from the sorrow.
“No. I need some time alone, if that’s all right. But there’s a note on the table that came for you earlier. From Peter Lakeman.”
Watching his father walk out the door was brutal. The man had always been strong and spry. Today the weight of ten thousand pounds seemed to rest on the man’s shoulders as he trudged his way to the barn.
Joshua forced his gaze back to the table. He swept up the note and opened it.
Mr. Lakeman expressed his sincerest apologies for what Joshua’s family was going through, but asked if since he was home, he was in need of a job. Since Mr. Lakeman was laid up, their team was down a man, and they needed to accomplishas much as they could at the dig site while the weather cooperated.
While he longed to see Anna and spend time with her, the thought of leaving his family tore at him.
“Joshua?” Mom lowered herself into a chair at the kitchen table. “Did you sleep?”
“I did.” He went to the stove to refill his cup. “Would you like some coffee?”
“No, thank you, dear.” Her monogrammed handkerchief was gripped tight in her hand. “What did Mr. Lakeman have to say? Is he recovering?”
