“Say it,” his voice was low, and gravellyscrapingup the back of my spine to my neck. “Say you knew.”
I was about to say I didn’t, but I knew. I’d known a longtime,but I’d never admitted to myself in those words. More a feeling I carried around. The knowledge he wouldn’t leave no matter what I did or how I acted. And part of me didn’t want to believe it so I tested it at every chance I got. Prove to myself he didn’t really lovemeandthathe would drop everything and go if I pushed the right buttons. If I didn’t smash down on all the buttons now to figure out what would make him leave, one day I’d accidently press the wrong one and he’d gowhen I least expected it.
“I knew.” It came out as a whisper. Misery wrapped around my chest as the full weight of what an awful shit I’d been fully came tothe forefront.
He looked away, grimacing as if in pain. Like part of himhadhoped hewaswrong. Without looking at me he said, “I may have felt worthless, but you liked it.I get it now.You made sure to rub my nose in the dirtbecause that way I couldn’t leave and for all your pushing, you never wanted me toactually go. If I was stuck in the dirt, I’d always be stuck with you.”
My throat wouldn’t work. Panicscreamed through my bodylike a massive fighter jet.
“Well I'm done being stuckonthe ground,Krystan.” His eyes met mine and they were a brilliant shade of emerald, taking my breath away. “I’m done. For real this time. Once we find this monster and kill it for your gran,we’re done.”
“The baby...” I regretted saying it the instant it came out.
His lip curled. “Oh,I’ll be there for the kid. The least I can do is not act like my ownneglectfulparents. I plan togive our kid the attention and self-esteem you and I could nevergrab hold of.But you bet your ass, things between us are going to be different.If you think I’m going togrovel and beg and plead for any footholdwith my own kid, you got another thing coming. When I want to be there for mychild, you sure as hell won’t get in my way.I won't lethersee me bound andgagged by your control.”
I wondered if he realized he picked a sex for the baby.
Travis stepped back to put on his shirt. He looked at me coolly, his voice all business. “Put on your shoes, and let’s go. We haveto get back.”
Turning around, I shoved my feet back in my boots and let the hot shame-filled tears fall from my eyes.I stopped myself.If I thought things had been royally screwed up before, I clearly had no idea how badly I could mess things up. And this time I screwed up theabsolute best thing I’d had. Travis’s love and loyalty which was what I wanted more than anything, even if Ineverallowedmyself to trust it.
Ibrushedpasthimand out of the officewithout letting him see myblotchy,wetface.Twice. He’d made me cry twice when I didn’t even shed tears at finding gran. How did he have this effect on me?I’d wipe away my tearsonce I was out of sight, but I couldn’t brush away the pieces of my heart that lay shattered on the floor with the bodies of the crib.
When we got home, Gregory was in the dining room having a serious conversation with Sophie who sat on the other side. The bunny sat on the table next to her as if involved in this crucial conference.
I'd been anxious to get out of the van and as far away from Travis as possible. Iwanted to run straight upstairs and jump straight into a scalding shower in the hopesit would burn away the emotions rioting through me. I couldn’t even be happy about the big payday we scored. It wasn’t enough to save thehouse,but it wasmore money that we’d seen since the first couple weeks we startedWhackaGhoul.
Travis barely shut the door behind me, whenthere was a sharprapped againstthewood. He opened it up and Phillip stood there, his normally placid expressionbrimming withexcitement.
“We found the woman. She is secured at one of our safehouses. I’mon my way over andexpectedyou would like to beapartof the interrogation.”
The scrape of Gregory’s chair along the floor pulled my attention. “I think it would be best if I also came.”
I nodded. Sophie grabbedMerlinandsidled up next to me.
Before I could suggest seeing if Susan was home again to watch them, Travis said. “The kids are coming with. I want to make sure they are safe.” Then to Phillip, “I assume you have someroom we can put them while we...have our chat.” His voice, his demeanor was different. Transformed with a hard authority I wasn’t used to seeingfromhim.
At first I wanted to protest and keep them far away from any of the dangerous crap we were getting into, but as if sensing I would put up a fight he shot me a cold hard look that had the words on my tongue wilting the moment they formed.
Phillip nodded. “Yes, I agree. It’s best to keep them close after encountering the demon. And we haveaccommodations for them.”
Sophie’s face split into a smile. “Does that mean Noah and I can come?”
Travis nodded. “Go get your brother.”
She raced up the stairs, tripping twice butthatdidn’t stop her from bounding up the rest of the way.
Despite the icy fearstuck in my gut at bringing the kids along, anticipation rolled over me at the prospect of getting a second chance at the bitch responsible for murdering my gran. I knew without a shadow of a doubt she somehow conjured up the demon, and if I could convince Phillip to leave me alone in the room with her, I could work out some of the anger that tightly wound around my shoulders and back at all times now.
Noah and Sophie stomped back down the stairs like tiny elephants. Sophie now wore a metalcolanderover her head though it kept slipping over her eyes and Noah had a cape tied around his neck.
“Okay, we’re ready,” Sophie said beaming, huggingMerlin close.
If I weren’talreadypregnant,my ovaries would have exploded.
In true, Order of Veritas style, Phillip led us to asecret mansion.He used a remote to open the gate to a vastly walled off part of town. I always figured there were cramped little neighborhoods on the other side. Instead, it was like being transported from the city to the rolling hills of asprawling chunk of land. It took afullfour minutes todrive upthe way to what must have been amulti-milliondollar home complete with a separatecarriagehouse.Several people were milling about, guns holstered over their shoulders. They wore khakis and dark greens like they were from the military.
When I hopped out of the van, I said to Phillip, “This feels more like a military compound than a religious faction.”
