“With a little one now, I’d think you’d understand the value of keeping our youth safe.” I used a teasing tone, but I was serious. I shuddered to think what would have happened if they hadn’t evacuated so efficiently at the first sign of trouble. Or what would have happened to Lucas. Buddy may have saved me against one of those creatures but two?
When Calan carried Snarp inside, the bird redoubled his screeches as if we’d set his feathers on fire. Tristan frowned and wriggled but didn’t wake up.
I shut the door behind me, my face already in a glower again. “I’m going to kill this parrot and rotisserie the body.”
“Yesss, yessss, killsss meeeee,” Snarp said gleefully.
After situating Snarp, Calan came back to give Krystan a proper hello, then sweetly stroked the blade of his fingertip along Tristan’s face in greeting. The baby opened his tiny mouth and yawned and my heart almost burst.
“Where is Travis?” Calan asked.
“Upstairs, doing some work. Either paying our company taxes or retooling a shot gun with a flame thrower feature, who knows?” She smiled at me. “Though we’ve been hard pressed to do anything other than hang out with our little dude, as Travis calls him.”
I returned her smile. That was such a Travis thing to say.
Calan kissed me then disappeared up the stairs.
“I like how close those two have gotten,” I said looking up after Calan. “An unlikely, but bonded pair none the less.”
Half of Krystan’s lips raised in a knowing smile. “They do like to geek out about their weapons,” Krystan said, following me into the living room. “What happened with birdbrain?”
Snarp had quieted down but was back to moaning the way when we’d found him amongst the decimated Twinkies.
“Between getting toilet water everywhere, trying to commit snack cake suicide, and swallowing a gemstone off the book of Luxis, I’m ready to release him in the wild. I’m still waiting for Ylang to show up and murder me.”
Snarp let loose a satisfied whistle.
“Well Ylang can try.” Krystan paused then said, “again.” She sat on the pink and green floral couch cuddling her son. The house still smelled strongly of potpourri and mothballs, a scent I’d come to associate with hominess and safety.
Stalking over to the cage, I shook my finger at Snarp. “Be glad you’re here because if you were going home with me, I might suck your little evil essence right out and then you’d never have another Twinkie ever again.”
Krystan’s eyes widened at the rude noise that came out of the bird. “Did he just blow a raspberry at you?"
My phone buzzed six times in a row from the coffee table. Krystan’s eyebrows rose. “Whoah. Where’s the fire?” There was a serious question in her dark eyes. I had the Whack A Ghoul phone, which meant it could be another job.
I reached for the phone and glanced at it confirming my suspicions. I put it back down and sat next to Krystan on the couch.
“It’s Regina. She just asked if I still fit my wedding dress.” I could hear the disgust in my own voice. “I should check because those muffins Phillip brought over were making her puffy and I might be feeling the same.” After meeting with Mika, I didn’t want to deal with weddings, suicidal birds, or powers that made me want to suck the essence out of the demon dog that had saved me. I just wanted to sit here with my friend and coo over my godson.
Krystan’s laugh came out as a bark. Tristan stirred, his tiny face frowning. “Wow, she is hitting every classic move to make the bride miserable.”
“Pretty much. No matter how many times I tell her the dress is meant to make me look good and this isn’t my big opportunity to work toward becoming model thin, she pats my hand and says that’s the spirit then goes right back to passive aggressively telling me all about the juice cleanse she’s on.”
“Want me to order a bunch of junk food and then we can smear pizza and burger all over our lips and send her selfies?”
I smiled at her. “This is why I love you.”
Krystan visibly shuddered. “Momzilla. If everything isn’t perfect, momzilla will smash.” She started to growl and make Godzilla sounds. Pausing her reenactment of destroying Tokyo, Krystan asked, “How is she still finding time to harass you? I thought you said she was in DC?”
I rubbed my face. “She is, but she somehow manages to make sure we quadruple check every single detail of the wedding and settling for nothing less than perfection.”
Lines gathered on Krystan’s forehead. “She knows that whole, ‘your wedding day is supposed to be perfect’ saying is total bullshit, right? Not to say it’s not be one kickass day, but what day has ever been perfect?”
I shrugged. Krystan tilted Tristan so I could better pet the soft hair on his head. “The woman had her own wedding. Why the hell does she need to control your big day?” she asked. Before I could speculate she went on. “You know what also blows my mind? The woman is obsessed with making everything perfect, yet she is going to allow Calan to wear that hideous suit and not say a word.”
“I think her white-knuckled grip on our wedding has something to do with her need to impress Calan. After not knowing where he was or if he was even alive for most of his life, she may see this as a way to make up for lost time by being the perfect mother now. And if it might upset him to wear a different suit, she’s not going to risk it.”
Krystan looked into Tristan’s face and used her baby voice. “Double standard bullshit if you ask me.”
