Ignoring his protest, I picked up Bob and turned on my heel. "You can't do this, Miranda," Xander insisted.
"That's where you're wrong," I replied, not slowing my stride.
Two strong hands gripped my shoulders, forcing me to face him. Instantly, he was too close. My skin tingled, my head went fuzzy, and I involuntarily wet my lips. Xander's pupils dilated, as if he too sensed the undercurrent of desire throbbing between us, between all the places we'd been and lost.
"Why are you here?" I asked, shrugging off his grip and stepping away. "I thought you hated me."
His brows furrowed. "Hated you?" he echoed in confusion. His eyes cleared as he looked away. "I was upset."
"Upset," I scoffed, throwing my braids over one shoulder. “For four weeks, you’ve beenupset.” I hated the way the pitch of my voice rose at the end of that sentence.
"I didn’t ask you to bring me back, Miranda," he murmured, a soft growl imbuing his voice.
With Xander’s dying act, he saved me from stabbing my own child in a supernaturally-induced hallucination.
When the dream cleared from my eyes and I found Xander pierced through the heart by my own hand, I thought he would regenerate like he did every night I killed him. But whether fate is a cruel bitch or his sudden desire to live triggered it, Xander’s power had ebbed enough that I was able to kill him for good.
Right there, right then, he died a true death at the end of my blade.
I couldn’t leave it at that.
“I know you didn’t ask me to save you,” I said stiffly. “Believe me, I realize my mistake now.” I threw away my life the day I revived him.
I regretted ever asking for outside help, allowing myself to be manipulated by Sunny—the fae who performed the spell—who clearly had ulterior motives.
Not only was Xander released from the prison of the blade’s steel, so was everything the blade ever killed. It was a massive jailbreak of all the destructive gods and monsters that had been destroyed and trapped into the steel of my blade. All thanks to my feeling-clouded idiocy.
Now the most primeval deities this world had seen since the beginning of time walked this earth again. And it was my fault because I had a crush on a beast in a cage with a death wish.
The purge had also robbed Bob, my talking blade, of his voice. We’d known each other a short time, but I felt bonded to him, and now that my sword was silent, I felt more alone than ever.
My hands clenched against the stupidity of my own actions.
“What do you think you are doing then?” he asked even softer now.
That’s when I spun on my heel and backed Xander up against a wall, the sharp end of my sword pricking at his throat. His eyes remained impassive even as he lifted his chin. As if he didn’t believe I’d do it.
He should. I killed him every night for weeks.
But if I did it now, he would die instantly, his soul trapped in the blade I held.
“I am dealing with the consequences of my actions,” I said, only growing angrier when I heard the tremor in my own voice. “I have to kill every one of those monsters I let out. Perhaps I should start with you, since you are here.”
But this wasn’t about Xander. He wasn’t slain because he was a threat to this world. He was only a threat to my good sense.
“They can’t expect you to do this.” His eyes bore into me, until I felt his penetrating gaze travel all the way to my toes. “It’s suicide, Miranda. You can’t fight immortals as a human.”
My arm dropped, the blade going with it. “It is my duty, my penance.” I paused. “Put on a shirt and some shoes. You look like some damn homeless maniac.” My irritation was way too apparent. Hopefully he’d think I said it because I think he’s indecent, not because it’s distracting as all hell.
I hated the way his stupid carved abs flexed at my comment.
“You didn’t know what you were doing. It wasn’t your fault,” Xander argued on, ignoring my commentary on his dress—or rather the lack of it.
I narrowed my eyes. “Didn’t seem to stop you from blaming me either.”
The moment the searing light of the purging spell lifted, Xander appeared there in my living room with a look in his eye so full of hatred it was a live wire electrocuting me.
Then he took off, and I hadn’t seen him since.
