“Where are you? I’ll come get you,” he offers immediately. In the background, there are voices speaking, but I can’t tell what they are saying.
He’s in the middle of something. I shouldn’t be bothering him. I should have told him I was fine.
Shaking my head even though he can’t see me, I sniffle and tell him, “No, you don’t need to do that. I, um, have Mildred’s car. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be—”
“I called you,” he interrupts, his voice warm and gentle. “Let me help… please.”
“You don’t know what I’ve done,” I whisper, my heart breaking because once he knows, I’m sure he’ll hate me.
“It doesn’t matter,” he insists, a low growl underlying his words. “I feel what you feel.” There’s a weighty pause before he quietly adds, “Your desire. Your shame. All of it.”
Embarrassment flushes my already warm skin. I hadn’t realized that I’d driven so close to pack grounds, but now, pushing through all of my tumultuous feelings, I can sense Connor—a small flame within the dark guiding me to what feels like home.
“Come to me,Reina,”he murmurs. “You will be safe here. I won’t let you suffer alone.”
Even though I know it’s wrong to go to him when my desire burns so brightly because of Nolan, I can’t resist the promise of comfort within Connor’s arms. Simply hearing the sound of his voice has soothed some of the harsh pain.Maybe if I only ask to be held, that would be okay.
“I’ll come,” I agree, unrolling myself into a seated position again. My body continues to shake, and I fight for control with slow, deep breaths.
There’s a hint of relief in his tone when he replies, “Meet you at the front gate.”
As soon as I realize he’s about to hang up, panic seizes me. I’m scared of returning to the dark silence while my body burns and my thoughts sink their sharp teeth into my battered heart.
“Please, don’t hang up,” I cry, my throat already starting to close under the weight of my fear. “Don’t leave me alone.”
“Never,” he promises, the gruffness of his wolf prevalent in his voice.
My anxiety relinquishes my lungs, and after another few deep breaths, I restart the engine. Setting my phone to speaker, I place it in the cupholder nearest to me and then pull back out onto the road.
The next thing I hear is the muffled sound of Connor’s voice as he commands one of his guards. “My mate will be here soon. Clear out the house and widen the perimeter. No one is to disturb us.” His tone is one of confident authority with the edge of his wolf’s low growl, eliciting a tingling sensation that runs down my spine.
There are a few more moments of muted discourse as Connor dictates what our needs will be in the morning and what to do in case of emergencies. Each time he says “my mate,” instead of feeling my normal anxiety and annoyance over the phrase, I feel a little safer and less alone, a tether to keep me from floating away into the nightmares that engulf me.
“Reina?”he murmurs into the phone, accompanied by the loud thuds of boots meeting wooden stairs.
“I’m here,” I answer, focusing on my breathing and the road. None of the yearnings or shame has lessened, and it’s once again telegraphed with another flash of dry lightning splintering the sky.
Oh please don’t light anything on fire. I don’t need another blood ritual to bring back a bunch of burnt down trees because I can’t keep my shit together.
“Soon,” Connor promises in the wake of the answering thunder. “Soon you’ll be here. Safe. Protected.” He pauses, and there’s the screech and clang of an old car door opening and closing. I can hear his breath, the opening of his mouth as more words wait in anticipation on his tongue, but he changes his mind and simply echoes his promise again. “Soon.”
After several minutes of silence filled only with the sounds of the engine, the crackle of gravel underneath tires, and the faint beats of an oldies radio station, I beg, “Please say something. I don’t care what it is. I just need to… hear you.”
“Okay,” he answers, clearing his throat.
There are a few more moments of silence, the wheels of his mind shuffling through different choices before he settles on something unexpected. He starts to sing.
It’s in Spanish, and I’m only able to understand a few words, but they are lost without context. It doesn’t matter, because I don’t need to understand the words to feel the emotions underlying each verse. The song is something bittersweet sung in a breathy, low croon touched with a gravelly vibrato that reminds me of the blended howls of wolves. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, and it guides me to a place I never consider to be home.
By the time the song finishes, I’m pulling up to the entrance of pack lands. The first thing I see is Connor’s tall, lean form highlighted by the car’s bright headlights. Several thoughts strike me at the same time as he hangs up the phone and takes measured steps toward the passenger door. First is the relief that I can place my problems into his capable hands. The second is the realization that a simple hug will not be enough to satiate my venom enhanced yearnings. Finally, there’s the all-consuming guilt that while Nolan suffers alone, I’m taking comfort in his best friend’s arms.
Please forgive me,I pray, but I don’t know if it’s to Nolan, Connor, or the goddess herself.
Chapter 7
Connor
Callie drives up to the unassuming gate and finds me standing there alone. I sent the Tahoe back with the two betas who have the night watch. They’ll return once I have Callie safely holed up in the alpha house. I never thought I’d consider that cueva de pesadillas safe, but there’s nowhere on pack lands more fortified.
