∞∞∞
We exercise for the next hour, and it’s much easier than I expect it to be. After Kaleb’s instructions, I fall into a type of zen-like state, where each motion feels natural and my mind isn’t so full. Also, working out with Nolan and Kaleb is strangely fun, and I’m left with a pleasurable ache of well-worked muscles. For the first time since becoming James, there’s hope that I can also have something that resembles my old life. I can still hang out with my best friends and, at least with them, be no one but myself.
When Callie is done with her training, Donovan and Connor set up for their normal bout of beating the crap out of each other, but the vibe between them is different. Not in a bad way, but like they have a secret they are taunting each other with. Connor is the most relaxed I’ve seen him, well, ever—all loose-limbed and amused smiles. Donovan gives him a cocky smirk and moves onto the black padded mats. There’s buzzing energy to his movements as he shifts his weight quickly from foot to foot, and it dawns on me that he’s excited about the fight. What the hell is up with them?
Callie walks over to us, rolling her eyes over the spectacle of the coming combat. Sweat glistens on her flushed face and along her hairline, and wet ringlets that escaped her messy bun while she was training now stick to her skin. I want to wrap them around my fingers and kiss her exposed neck… as well as a few other places. My raging hormones flare to life simply by looking at her, and X-rated content makes a mad dash across my brain. Shocked by my own caveman desire to drag her off to some closet and touch her everywhere, I fist my hands in my pockets, determined to keep my hands to myself.
Unaware of what’s going on in my head, she puts her hands on her hips and sighs. “I can’t with those two. No protective gear. No pads to aim for. Just beating the snot out of each other.”
After Kaleb rubs the sweat from his face with the bottom of his white t-shirt—Callie following the movement with her eyes—he gives one of his Kaleb-like explanations. “They do it for the authenticity of combat. Between Connor’s constant challenges as the new alpha and Donovan’s future of demon hunting, these fights under safer conditions are vital. Both of them heal quickly, so try not to worry.”
“Yeah, I know,” she responds, chewing on her bottom lip, which I follow withmyeyes. “I just wish it wasn’t so brutal.”
He looks at her with focused concern, finally appearing to be all here and not wherever his mind keeps wandering to. His hand rests on her shoulder, and he analyzes her expression while asking, “Do you want to go? I know the sounds of the fight can be hard on you.”
She places her hand on top of his and gives it a light squeeze. “Thank you for asking, but I’m okay. You don’t need to worry.”
“I’m going to anyway,” he replies, and they trade the private smiles of an inside joke the rest of us aren’t in on.
Damn it, them too? It’s like she has these special relationships with each of the guys that I somehow missed. I need to tell her I’m in love with her soon, but how do I get her alone when we are either surrounded by people or I’m grounded? Hell, the only reason I was allowed over here today is because I’m training for baseball.
Through this entire interaction, Nolan is bizarrely quiet, not quite ignoring Callie, but like all the words have dried up inside him. Considering talking is one of Nolan’s favorite pastimes and he had no problem cracking jokes while we were lifting weights, it’s obvious something is going on between him and Callie. The question is will he tell me anything if I ask him about it later, and am I prepared for the answer? The memories of catching them together while Nolan fed fills my brain, and I don’t know how to feel about it anymore. It hurts and doesn’t all at the same time, and it dawns on me that my greatest fear isn’t Callie’s feelings about the others or the others’ feelings about her. It’s whether she’ll have room for me in her heart and life.
With all the guys vying for her attention, will she want some nerdy human too?
You’re not going to find out on the sidelines, hoping she’ll notice you, a newer, more confident side of my brain challenges.You want time with her, then find a way to make some.
I get an idea when I hear the heavy thump of Donovan hitting the mat after Connor kicked his legs out from under him.
“Hey, Callie,” I call, drawing her attention away from the fight. With a warm smile, I casually ask, “Since learning about this supernatural stuff, I was thinking I should probably learn how to defend myself. Will you teach me?” Kaleb opens his mouth, and I can tell he’s about to recommend himself as a better teacher, so I cut him off by adding, “It’ll help you practice too. The best way to make sure you know something is by trying to teach it to someone else. It’s one of the reasons I tutored all the time.”
She beams with pride and excitement, definitely eliminating any chance one of the other guys will try to step in to train me instead. “I’d be happy to,” she answers, bouncing on her toes. Grabbing the crook of my arm, she starts pulling me toward the punching bag. “We can start with the basics right now.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for any high kicks,” I tease, my whole arm tingling under her touch.
“I’ll start you off easy.” She laughs then shoots a mock glare at Donovan. “Unlikesomepeople.”
Whatever tiredness I felt after working out evaporates under her genuine enthusiasm. I offer zero resistance as she drags me away from the others. It worked! She wants to spend time with me.
I’m putty under her lithe fingers, my heart skipping every time she touches me to correct my form. Unfortunately, our training session is short-lived when my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Pulling out my phone, I notice Callie’s face falls when she sees Bree’s name and picture across the screen. She takes several steps back and hunches in on herself like she just realized she’s done something wrong.
Hating seeing her try to take up less space, I drag her into a side hug while I answer the phone. “Hello, Bree.”
“Hello, James,” she jokingly mimics. “What’s up with you? You sound weird.”
Looking down at Callie, I try to appear as reassuring as possible, hoping my eyes can convey how she’s the only one for me. “I sound as normal as I’m going to. This is the way I talk now.”
The words came out harsher than I meant them to, and Bree’s voice has a wounded shake to it as she apologizes, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. I only meant to tease you about how formal you sounded.” She releases a nervous laugh. “I’m your girlfriend, not some random stranger.”
Not for long.Holding Callie makes all of this so much more real, and I know I can’t put off breaking up with Bree any longer. She seems like a nice girl, and I don’t like hurting her, but Nolan and Kaleb are right. I have to live my life based on what I want, not what James would have wanted.
Adrenaline surges throughout my body, and I begin to shake with anxious energy. I’m one to defuse conflict, not create it, but that’s exactly what I’m about to do. Ignoring what possible reason she was calling for, I stutter out, “Can we meet up at the park off of Main Street?”
“Sure,” Bree replies with the taped-over casualness trying to hide her real fear. “When?”
“Now,” I state with clipped finality.
