I know he doesn’t mean it as a dig against me, implying he’s somehow unsafe with me, but it hurts anyway. Biting my lower lip, I stare at my lap and try not to let my emotions show on my face.
Because it’s impossible to hide anything from my mate, Connor gently touches my cheek, a silent request to look at him. When I do, his thick brows are raised, and his eyes ask the same question.Areyousure you want to be alone with him?
“I’m sure,” Nolan and I say nearly simultaneously, and then we chuckle awkwardly.
With collective nods, Connor, Kaleb, Felix, and Donovan shuffle out of the room.
“We’ll be downstairs raiding Alicia’s kitchen,” Felix announces from the doorway. “I have so much food to catch up on.”
He presses his hands against Kaleb’s and Donovan’s backs to shove them toward the hallway and out of view. Displeased grumbling answers Felix’s efforts. Connor quietly closes the double doors behind him.
“Alicia’s kitchen?” I ask, tilting my head to the side in confusion.
A secret smile skates across Nolan’s lips. “It’s long since stopped being the family kitchen. It’s her domain, and we’re lucky if she allows us to visit.”
“Oh,” I blurt, at a loss for a cleverer response.
We sit in silence, listening to the patter of rain falling on the large concrete balcony, for what feels like an eternity but is probably no longer than a minute or two.
Nolan licks his lips, and then he carefully uncurls himself, placing his bare feet onto the floor and letting the blanket fall to his waist. He’s wearing a thick pullover sweater with matching pants. Warm. Comfortable. Safe. He braces his hands on the armrests, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.
“Callie… love, would you… I need…” He stumbles over his words, getting more frustrated, but I don’t know what he’s trying to ask me to do to help him. His fingers dig into the black leather, and his toes flex against the hardwood floors. With a tired sigh, he requests, “Would you sit on my lap… please?”
“What?” I squeak, sure that I’m somehow misinterpreting what he’s asking, even though there really is only one interpretation.
“Don’t make me ask again,” he pleads.
“Okay,” I reply softly, standing up and slipping my shoes off. Still wearing my socks, I take careful steps across the room and stop about six inches away from him. “Why are your eyes closed?”
Nolan holds his hands out to me, and I take them, surprised by how cold his skin is. It’s like he dunked them in ice water. “My eyes are closed,” he murmurs, “because they used your likeness, but that’s all they could duplicate.” Under his breath, he vows, “I won’t let her take you from me.”
His body starts to shake. Without thought, I climb onto his lap and wrap myself around him. He clings to me fiercely, his shaking vibrating into my body. I do my best to hold him steady, tugging the blanket up around us both. It’s the same blanket he wrapped me in that first day we met and I fell asleep in his lap. He took care of me. Now it’s my turn.
Holding his head against my chest, I rock us both gently side to side. Barely above a whisper, I say, “I don’t understand. What do you mean by my likeness?”
Nolan swallows heavily and croaks, “What did you see when… when it happened?”
“I saw Gina all over you, and you were feeding from Anastasia,” I answer, the memories stoking my hot rage which, in this instance, is probably better than my cold wrath. Things disappear from existence if that pops out suddenly. “I know you’d never willingly be a part of any of that, so I… did what I did.”
“Anastasia looked like you,” he explains. My hands fall to his shoulders when he presses his face to the juncture of my neck and shoulder. Happy little tingles dance down my spine as I feel his lips against my skin. He inhales deeply. “It was impossible for them to get your scent or taste right though. It’s your magic that makes it so unique.”
“Hence why your eyes are closed and you’re sniffing me?” I question, my brain slowly unraveling under his touch. “What’s, uh, with the touching?”
He laughs, and it’s a hot breathy sound that does molten things to my insides. “Yes, my eyes are closed because I want to make these good memories. Memories that I know are of the real you.”
“Scent is supposed to be the biggest trigger for memories,” I supply, my voice getting higher on the end as his freezing hands reach underneath my sweater.
“You’re so warm.” He sighs, his body slowly relaxing.
“Glad to help,” I chirp, having very mixed feelings about becoming his human electric blanket.So this is what it’s like for the other guys when I touch them.
“The touching is for us,” he continues, and his voice is that smooth ribbon again—the one that ties around my heart and won’t let go. “This is what they were trying to take.”
“I don’t understand,” I murmur, because none of this makes sense. He was assaulted hours ago. How can he be like this? Am I hurting him and don’t know it?
He takes his hands from under my shirt and blindly reaches for my face by way of sliding them up my arms. I hold his hands to my cheeks and watch his expression change to one of determination.
“Gina isn’t stupid,” he states through clenched teeth. “Even though she’s desperate for the bite, there’s a reason she had me feed from Anastasia first.”
