It takes me a moment, my eyes searching his handsome face for answers while I puzzle out the clues he’s left before me. The idea that my appearance was used to torture him makes my stomach turn.
Tried to take touching from us?He’s trying to make good memories, ones that he can be sure are of me by separating the element that tricked him. Good memories to override bad ones?
When the truth dawns on me, tears build in my eyes, and I immediately pull his hands around me. “I’m so sorry,” I whimper.
“It’s not your fault,” he mutters wetly, his fingers digging into my back. I welcome the potential bruises.
“She hurt you to ruin you for me,” I cry, holding him as tightly as he’s holding me. “She wanted you to relive it over and over again every time you looked at me. How are you able to be this close to me without—”
“Because I love you!” he exclaims, opening his eyes and staring desperately into mine. “She’s taken… everything. Spoiled every part of me. But not you. I won’t let her take you!” His eyes are glassy and bright.
Silent tears drip down my face. Cupping his face between my hands, I press my lips to his forehead, and in a gentle whisper, I confess, “I love you too.” I kiss the tip of his nose. “Every part of you.” I kiss his right cheek. “The parts that scare you.” Then his left. “The parts that shame you.” My mouth hovers over his. “I love all of it.”
Nolan closes the distance and kisses me. It’s slow and soft, tasting of our tears and mending hearts. Of the time we lost fighting against something we both wanted but wouldn’t admit to. My hands slip into his hair, loving the feeling of it between my fingers. His slide up and down my back in gentle strokes.
Whereas our first kiss was all passion and fire, this one is so tender that my heart aches with how much I love him. It doesn’t feel like the meeting of two bodies, but of two lost souls clinging to each other in the dark. It’s bittersweet. It’s relief. It’s etching a lasting love into my bones.
His lips are cold, but his mouth is warm, our tongues enjoying a leisurely dance of give and take. He tastes of blood and expensive vodka, but I don’t mind. This is him. Raw but refined. Messy and beautiful. Made perfect by his imperfections.
I’m left bare by his kiss, my very being on display for him to love or ruin. My magic answers the desperate feelings within me, sensing the delicate joining of our hearts, and blankets us with its warmth. He moans, enveloped by the physical embodiment of my love, and his skin is once again warm to the touch.
Needing to breathe, we end our kiss, our foreheads together as we share the same heated air that separates our lips.
“I promised I would kiss you the next time you apologized for something that wasn’t your fault,” he teases, his nose nuzzling mine.
“I’m sorry.” I giggle with a grin that takes over my entire face.
“No you’re not.” He chuckles, and then plants another lingering kiss on my lips.
I nod gamely. “No, I am. I’m very, very sorry.”
He kisses me again and again… and again. Each one is punctuated with how deeply apologetic I am.
I finally concede the game when I’m laughing so hard I can barely breathe. Feeling happy and safe, I snuggle down into his arms, both of my legs hanging off one side of the recliner, and rest my head on his shoulder. He hums contentedly, his fingers combing through my hair.
Nolan attempts to wrap us up in the blanket, trapping our combined warmth, and then leans his head on top of mine. “Do I have you to thank for no longer feeling like a vampire popsicle?”
Chewing on my lip, I answer with anxious hesitation. “Yes? Please don’t be mad. My magic was only trying to help.”
“Thank you,” he murmurs, his other hand reaching for mine so we can lace our fingers together.
“Really?” I blurt.
“Really,” he echoes with a yawn, his voice becoming low and drowsy. “I’ve been shivering nonstop for days.”
Growing concern builds in my belly, but before I can get him to elaborate, he turns to complete deadweight, sleeping the deep sleep of the exhausted.
I’ll ask him later.I close my eyes, shift a bit to get comfortable, and fall asleep too.
Chapter 19
Nolan
Igive myself one month to live the life I’ve always wanted. I hang out with the guys, doing normal stuff like watching movies, doing homework, playing video games, and even working out, covering how my body grows weaker with jokes about being too lazy. I steal kisses from Callie any chance I get and savor each moment. Every smile. Every laugh. Every confession of love. I hold onto them, filling myself with them so I can survive to the next day.
Refusing to spoil my time with Callie, I decline her offer to go back to feeding, assuring her that Donovan and I are fine as we are. My explanation? I wanted a chance for us to take it slow, to simply be silly and in love. She happily agreed, rewarding me with an exuberant kiss. It’s not a lie. I’ve always wanted this, but I also know that if I feed from her, take the extra step with her now that she knows my heart, I won’t be able to do what I promised—stop Gina from hurting anyone ever again.
I’m not dumb enough to think they haven’t noticed the changes in me. Their concerned gazes follow me when they don’t think I can see them, but they don’t know how to fix me, and I always have an answer if they become brave enough to ask. Fatigue? Weird dreams keeping me up at night. Since Mildred came back, I was able to score a few overnights with Callie for that one. Weight loss? We’ve been working out more because of Felix, even if I’m not putting in as much effort as the others. Feeding more frequently? Well, D is so backed up that wanting to fool around is not a hard sell. I’ve done my best keeping a lid on my mood swings, but Gina’s actions were more than justification for the times I slipped.
