Swiping my phone off, I stuffed it in a pocket. Excited jitters tingled along my arms.
She agreed to meet me tonight. Does it mean she’s going to give me a chance, or is she just seeking a way to close the door on our past?
Either way, I’d make it work. This might be my only opportunity to prove myself, to stake my claim and become the man I should’ve been all this time. The man she deserved.
Knock knock.
I strode to the door and peeked through the peephole.
Jay and Katrina stood in the hallway.
Holding back a sigh, I unlocked the deadbolt and stuck my head through the crack.
“Hey Paxton.” Katrina smiled, the movement causing tiny wrinkles to form in her thick makeup. “Since we’re not far from Cascade Falls, we’re heading to Jay’s house later. You wanna come? His dad’s hosting an afterparty for Soulful Death.”
Soulful Death was another up-and-coming band specializing in symphonic metal. Their music bridged hard rock with catch metal, their stage presence and sound similar to Ghost.
“No thanks. Got plans.” I scratched my stubbly jaw, ready to get into the shower.
“With who?” Jay asked, glancing at Katrina with a meaningful look I couldn’t quite understand.
“An old friend.” It wasn’t any of their business. Besides, I remembered Katrina’s pettiness and jealousy toward CC.
Jay stepped closer, his face only a couple of inches from mine. Several people strolled past. “You gonna need something for your nerves?” His voice was a low whisper.
The pills I’d stuffed into my jeans yesterday felt like they were burning a hole through the material. They did help. A lot. Yet I didn’t want to become an addict.
“No. I’m good.” I kept my tone firm.
“They’re not going to work as well if you keep taking them, which means you’re going to need something stronger.” He held out his fist. The top of a baggie rose from between his index finer and thumb.
I backed away, for some reason not wanting my hands anywhere near what he offered.
“What the fuck, man?” I stumbled into the room, my eyes never leaving his fist.
Jay took one step into the room, then laid the bag of light-brown pills onto the entry table. “I’m just putting them here in case you need them. I’m not saying you should, but they’re there if you do. We need you in tip-top shape for our debut album.”
I sneered at the bag. “I don’t need that shit. My dad—”
“You’re not your dad, Paxton. I know that. But you also need to finish the lyrics to those two songs we’ve been working on. And you work best when you’re relaxed.”
“Get out.” I stepped toward him, the cords of my arms tight with rage.
He held out his palms. “Fine. We’re leaving. Just think about it.”
Jay stepped back into the hallway. Katrina smiled at me.
I slammed the door in their faces, then swung around to the unassuming tiny pills in their plastic bag. With a huff, I scooped them up and took them into the bathroom, determined to flush them down the toilet.
Opening the top of the bag and stretching my arm out over the water in the bowl, I hesitated, the earlier happiness I’d felt now turning to dread and angst.
What if Jay’s right? What if the only way I can truly function is with a little help from modern medicine?
Instead of dumping the medicine, I placed it onto the edge of the sink and stared at myself in the mirror, looking for the Paxton who’d first met Terri Kingston, the Paxton who’d been so strong, the Paxton who would’ve taken these goddamn pills and shoved them up Jay’s ass.
The only person who stared back was the man with the bleached hair, with the skin covered in art, with the look of a dead man walking in his eyes.
I gripped the sink’s counter and hung my head.
