“For the love of God and Baby Jesus, Jeri,” I growled.
“You woke him up.” Felix chuckled.
“Did I?” Jeri asked. “Dude, you shouldn’t come out with us tonight.” She paused a beat. “Are you coming out?”
“Honey, he already came out,” Felix said, “he just forgot to get dressed while he was in the closet.”
“Felix!” I snapped. “Yes, Jeri, I am coming out tonight. Maybe the stupid dog will have shut up by the time I get home.”
“Dog?”
“My neighbor has a dog and it just keeps barking.”
“Landlord?”
“Oh please,” I groaned. “Don’t you remember the toilet incident?”
“Ooh, that’s right.” Jeri grimaced. “He’s a useless jackass. Got it. What are you gonna do? You can’t keep falling asleep at the desk.”
“If it happens again, I guess I’ll give him a warning.”
“Mmm.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Mmm? What does that mean?”
“You’re going to need help to switch the living room and bedroom.”
“No I’m not.”
I totally was.
I almost gave in and asked her for her husband’s help moving things, but then I thought of one more option.
Shame. Maybe I could shame the guy into keep his dog quiet. There were ways to do that and I was sure other people in the building would be right there with me about thatbark bark barking.
But it would have to be fun. Or funny. I was always a little bit chicken when it came to confronting people about things that inconvenienced me. My mother had said I was more Canadian than American when it came to my ‘ope, sorry!’ policy.
And…I ruined my morning thinking about my mother.
Yay.
* * *
“So after hewhips the container of floss out and pulls out like two feet of it,” Noah said, “he starts flossing at the table like his life depended on it.”
“At Per Se?” Jeri asked.
Noah nodded. “At the table at Per Se.”
We were all trying not to laugh. Noah had the worst luck dating. His brother Uriah made ago onmotion because he—and the rest of us—didn’t trust ourselves not to burst out laughing.
“Well, his dentist must be proud because he cleaned his teeth so well, I swear they were squeaking.” The poor guy let out a sigh. “The dessert comes out and he’s staring at it like it had a Face Hugger in it. It was a fabulous looking chocolate dome, the kind they melt with a warm sauce to reveal the real dessert inside. He sits back and shakes his head. ‘No, no, no. I said I wanted fruit.’”
“Fruit. At Per Se,” I managed.
“I was so tempted to ask the waiter to get him a side of apples from McDonald’s down the street.” Noah shook his head. “I was so glad he was picking up the tab.” He leaned his cheek on his fist. “I thought.”
“Oh, my God, no,” Lena gasped.
