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reason why I feel guilty has changed.”
“How?” I asked, breathlessly, feeling the power of both his body and words as they both pressed against me.
“I could never move on before because I felt like if she couldn’t, then I shouldn’t either. But now? Now I feel guilty because,” his nose brushed mine, “as much as I loved Jackie, things were never right between us. And we might have grown into adults together, but our relationship was juvenile at best. Still just two kids trying to make shit work on our very best day.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “I know that now and it’s not JUST because I love you…”
It’s not just because I LOVE you.
All the breath from my lungs left with a whoosh I could almost hear. I sat there with my mouth agape, my heart beating out of control and my thighs trembling.
There was both pain and love in his voice before he crushed his lips to mine. “But, because I love you more.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sawyer
Finn thrust his hips against me and I threw my head back with a gasp.
“That gasp is mine. This mouth is mine. YOU. ARE. MINE,” Finn rasped.
As much as his words stirred something in the depths of my body, something in my mind wasn’t sitting right.
“I don’t belong to anyone, Finn,” I argued, breathing hard. “I’m not a possession. I can’t be owned.”
“You’re right. You’re not a possession,” he said. “But you DO belong to me. I may not own you like some car or a house, but you ARE mine.” He placed his hand over his chest and lowered his voice. His eyes gleamed. “The same way my lungs or my heart is mine. You are a part of me, Sawyer. And in that way, you do belong to me.”
I felt the fight leaving me and my body meld against his.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he said, his words whispered across my neck. His fingers trailing up my thighs, pushing my dress up with them.
My body hummed with awareness. With want. With NEED.
“Tell me,” he demanded, grazing his teeth over my collarbone.
“I’m yours. I’m yours!” I admitted on a cry. I pulled Finn’s head up so I met his eyes. I needed him to see the truth in my words. “I’ve always been yours.”
A guttural sound vibrated from deep within Finn’s throat. “I need you,” he groaned, his lips descended on mine. His tongue sought entrance as he devoured my mouth like he was invading it.
Claiming it.
Owning it.
Finn’s hands were everywhere. Under my dress, kneading my breasts, then they were lifting it up over my head before tossing it to the floor.
Finn unclasped my bra and wasted no time pushing me back onto the table. “So fucking beautiful,” he moaned before licking his way around each of my nipples. The feeling shot directly between my legs and I felt myself growing wetter and wetter as the need built up inside me to an entirely new level.
Finn lifted me up off the table and lowered me to the floor, tugging off my panties in one quick motion.
He parted my knees with his hands, opening me up to feel his rigid hardness against my sensitive skin through his jeans when he crawled over me and kissed me deeply. His mouth devoured my lips, our tongues dancing together, melding like they belonged intertwined. He released my mouth only to kiss and lick and suck a hot trail down my body until he paused with his mouth hovering just over the throbbing need between my shaking thighs.
Every single thing that Finn was doing to me I felt not only within my body, but in my mind, in my heart. He wasn’t just making me feel, he was opening my eyes and it was like for the first time I was able to see clearly.
Finn licked my center in one long languid stroke sending a jolt of pleasure pulsing through me. It was so powerful I arched off the floor, the muscles deep in my core pulsed.
“You taste incredible,” Finn groaned, and this time when his lips connected with my sensitive flesh he not only licked, he sucked. Lightly placing a thumb and index finger on each side of my opening he pushed his fingers together and covered my sex with his mouth, sucking and licking in a front to back motion that had me squeezing my eyes shut. Colored light danced behind my eyelids just like lightning although I wasn’t running from this fear.
I was running toward it.
Toward Finn.
Finn licked me faster. Sucked harder. The pleasure was so intense I hadn’t realized I was arching my back until Finn reached up to hold me down by my hip while he continued to send me closer and closer to an edge I didn’t know existed until him, yet every time he made me come it was more intense than the last.
“That feels…” I heard myself say, my voice deep and smoky, filled with the intensity of everything I was feeling but I couldn’t bring myself to finish my sentence. “It feels…”
Finn lifted his mouth, leaving my wet folds exposed. My insides contracted at the loss of contact. He pulled off his t-shirt by the back hem and tossed it to the floor, exposing his ridiculously defined shoulders and biceps, his many rows of sculpted abs that led all the way to the exposed V poking out from faded jeans hanging low on his hip. His eyes were focused between my thighs at the wetness he’d caused. His eyelids heavy, his gaze so intense I shivered.
My mouth watered at the sight of him and my fingers itched to touch him. I sat up and trailed my fingertips down the many ridges of his torso. Finn kissed me again.
“Fuck, Sawyer,” he groaned against my mouth, palming and kneading my breasts, making my nipples ache. “I want you,” he moaned between kisses. “So fucking much.”
“Then take me,” I breathed.
“It doesn’t have to be now,” Finn said, his neck corded. “It doesn’t have to be right here.” I could tell he was on the brink of his control.
“Finn,” I said, gazing up into his eyes and not seeing guilt or sadness there like it was when I first met him. Only desire and love shone from his beautiful blue eyes. “I’m yours.”
Finn didn’t waste time. He reached for his belt and unbuckled it, popping the button on his fly and pushing his jeans down over his toned butt cheeks. His massive erection sprang free and the intensity of our connection continued to grow. The humming was now a loud buzz of electricity between us.
Finn lowered himself down on top of me between my legs. His hard chest against my soft breasts. The feeling of his warm soft skin surrounding his long hard shaft pressing up against the nerves surrounding my opening was a feeling like nothing else. My entire body was alive with sensation both inside and out.
“You’re so fucking wet,” Finn said, looking down and watching as he rubbed his thick shaft through my glistening folds. I could only nod. Finn lowered himself down onto me and lowered his hand to tease my opening with his fingers. He pushed one long finger into me and I jumped, seeing stars of bliss. “Shit. You’re really tight, Say.” He kept the finger inside me, rubbing my inner walls and creating a new kind of sensation that burned within me.
“I want to feel you,” I said, reaching for him and wrapping my hand around the soft skin of his shaft. “Inside me.”
Finn groaned and his eyes snapped to mine. He withdrew his finger and positioned himself at my opening, rubbing it through my folds and sending sparks shooting through me.
He took my mouth with his, kissing me deeper than ever before.
Finn teased my opening with a slow swivel of his hips. I didn’t know how much more I could take without passing out. “You. Are. Mine,” he grated out through clenched teeth.
“Yes!” I cried.
The cords of his neck strained as he began to push inside me. He kissed me again as he stretched me from the inside out. At first it was just a burning sensation that grew as he reached deeper and deeper, but then his lips left mine. “I love you, Say,” he whispered against my lips before he surged forward and broke the final barrier separating us that felt like I’d been sliced with a jagged knife from the inside.
Thankfully the feeling was brief and within seconds turned back to a slow
burn.
“I’m sorry,” Finn apologized. He lowered his lips to my nipple and sucked on it until I felt myself pulsing around him from the inside.
“I…I don’t know what I’m doing,” I said between heavy breaths, closing my eyes tightly.
“Open your eyes, Say,” Finn ordered.
When I did, he met my gaze. “You don’t have to do anything. You just have to feel. Feel me. Feel this between us.” He began to slide out of me slowly before rocking back in until he was buried deep inside of me as far as he could go.
