‘Oh, Mam. You’re so gullible.’
‘I’m not gullible.’
‘Yes, you are. Remember when you believed that April Fools about towels being banned on the beach, and you started a petition to stop the council from allowing the ban?’
‘All right. Well, I thought it was ludicrous, which is why I wanted to start a petition. Anyway, that was a long time ago, and I didn’t remember it was the first of April. You know what I’m like with dates,’ I sigh.
This is pointless. What if all men are cheats? Is there anyone decent out there any more? Should I really be trying to write a romance?
‘Jasmine, can you come up with something better for me?’
Jasmine hasn’t been listening to a word as she is too busy on her TikTok account. She looks at me as if I have just landed from the moon.
‘Huh?’
‘I’m trying to write a book and need some inspiration. Any ideas about boy stuff?’
‘Boy stuff?’
‘Yeah. Boy stuff.’
‘I’m not in junior school, Mam. No. Sorry, no ideas.’
‘Okay, well, I’ll just have to go on my girlie trip and get some inspiration then.’
‘You’re not going to that health spa we always wanted to go to, are you, Mam? Please don’t go without taking us. It’d be lovely to have mam and daughter spa time, don’t you think?’ says Poppy.
‘That would be lovely, my darling girl, but, no, I promise I’d never go there without you. We’re thinking Monaco, possibly.’
The mention of this is enough for Jasmine to put her phone down.
‘Monaco?’ She looks at me in disbelief. ‘Monaco?’ she repeats.
‘Yes, that’s right. Soraya’s fiftieth. I’ve been invited along, and it’s all paid for.’
‘Can I come?’ says Poppy.
‘What do you want to hang around fifty-year-olds on holiday for? Oh, my gawd, I can’t even imagine. Ew,’ says Jasmine.
‘That’s very rude, Jasmine. Besides, we wouldn’t want you cramping our style, thank you,’ I say.
‘When are you going, Mam?’ asks Poppy.
‘Around May bank holiday.’
‘Oh no. You can’t go then. I was planning on coming back for the bank holiday,’ says Jasmine.
I can’t help but think that if I was here then she would probably decide to spend the long weekend with her friends at the last minute, and I’d be left alone.
If Jasmine doesn’t want me to go, then this might just make me want to head off even more. Just like her dad, she is always wanting things her way. She is definitely a daddy’s girl.
‘It’s just something we’re talking about.’
‘Oh right, you know we’ll miss you if you go away. And Dad will.’
‘Dad? Why should he miss me? He’s busy with his own stuff.’
I don’t say that stuff is mostly Jess, the latest woman he met a few months ago. Although I am beginning to wonder how that relationship is going. Lately, he’s been popping over with any excuse. Just the other week, he came over on the pretence he wanted to borrow a screwdriver.
