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In the past, Olivia Lin didn’t really exist. She was your twin. She was our parents’ dutiful daughter. She was a rising-star psychiatrist who had it all together. She played it safe. Always.

But that stops now.

Rex taught me that. With him, I felt like I could breathe for the first time.

I felt worthy of being me.

Marybeth didn’t judge me, and I didn’t expect her to. I’ve sat across from patients and listened to their darkest confessions before, knowing life is rarely black and white. Sometimes, good people make the wrong choices.

The condemnation came from within me. I broke my own rules.

I should’ve recused myself the moment my emotions changed flavor, when they became more than professional concern. But I didn’t.

I should’ve protected Rex by finding him the proper care so he could get the diagnosis and treatment sooner. I was blindedby my emotions.

Loving someone doesn’t mean fixing them. Healing through pain doesn’t happen through control.

But that’s life. We all make mistakes. And that’s okay.

I don’t regret loving him though, and I think if you’re up there looking down at me, you are probably cheering him on because he’s a daredevil, just like you.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you sent him to me.

A chuckle escapes my lips as my tears dot the paper. I imagine Mia laughing when Rex scared the shit out of me after I leaped off the cliff in Dubrovnik. Or how she’d snicker when she saw me white-faced, stumbling out of the racecar after Rex cosplayed as an F1 driver.

The last two months have been painful, but necessary. I’m finally letting myself feel everything I used to bury.

Anger—because you left me behind without telling me why. Not even a note, Mia? Really? You didn’t think I would be a mess with you gone? You were my bestfriend.

Guilt—because we were always together before. I should’ve known something was wrong. But as twins, you were probably as good at hiding as I was. I wish you would’ve talked to me.

Grief—because of all the milestones you’ll miss. The tattoo I’ll be getting someday. Joining Lexy to swim with sharks in Hawaii for her bucket list. Falling in love. Getting married. Having kids. And later, grandkids.

Acceptance—because I know I’ll miss you forever, but I don’t need to carry your absence like a punishment.

I have to let go and just…be.

You’ll always be a part of me, but I need to live the part you couldn’t.

So, this isn’t just goodbye.

This is me choosingto keep going.

Choosing to be me.

I’ll miss you and love you forever, but it’s time.

It’s time for Olivia Lin to shine.

Always your dearest sister,

Olive

Sometimes, there is no why in life, or if there is, the answers are hidden. Sometimes, grief and acceptance are best friends, sitting quietly side by side, and your only choice is to survive and thrive.

Sniffling, I wipe away my tears and stuff the letter into a plain envelope, which I’ll take to the cemetery later. The ache deep inside my chest lessens a little.

My phone buzzes on the table, and then it rings.