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“Are you sure you’re up for this? Because we can’t blow it this time.”

The smile slips off my face, and I straighten, because this is important. This is my chance to redo it.

Oh please, Rex. Nothing will bring them back.Thereareno re-dos in life.

I clench my hands into fists. “I got this, Elias. I won’t let you or her down.”

Raya’s dying moments barge into my mind—the same images I relive night after night.

Her hand grips mine, but the pressure is softening. Damn it, I’m losing her.

“Stay with me, Raya. Fuck. Stay with me.” I cradle her in my arms. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. They weren’t supposed to find her.

She coughs, and blood seeps out of her bullet wound.

Fuck. So much blood. Just like Mom all those years ago.

I press my handkerchief onto her wound.

It’s useless. She grows paler by the second.

“M-Make sure Ava and Cora are safe,” she rasps, her breaths sawing out of her. “Don’t let him find them. Get them o-out, tell them I’m sorry I can’t b-be with them.”

“Don’t you dare, Raya. You tell them yourself. You’ll see them soon.”

Blood bathes my fingers. Desperation convulses my insides as I press harder. Two hands now.

Raya’s eyes roll backward, and her grip on me slowly loosens. No. It can’t end this way. I can’t have another death on my hands.

She whispers, “P-Promise me. Tell them I l-love them.”

Raw, anguished sobs bellow inside the nondescript motel room.

“No, Raya. Don’t give up on me. You need to see your girls grow up and get married. Kids need their moms. F-Fuck. Don’t—”

“I don’t blame you.” Her lips barely move, but I hear her.

Then she’s gone.

It’s only then when I realize the racking sobs come from me.

I remember the wet metallic smell of damp earth mixed with blood, the sound of raindrops hitting against the small picture window, herfaint vanilla perfume.

I failed another mom with kids that day. Just like I failed our mom and my siblings suffered because of it. Logic tells me the two events aren’t related, but it doesn’t feel this way. The guilt presses heavily on my lungs. The what-ifs. The what could bes.

My mind’s a maximum security prison, and I’m serving a life sentence.

Will the guilt ever go away? If I do this, get this other woman to safety, will I be able to breathe again?

Will I finally be free?

With determination pulsing through me, I stride to Elias. “It’ll be different this time. I promise you. I joke and fuck around, but not with this.Neverwith this.”

The mobster holds my gaze, his sharp eyes assessing. His leather gloves creak when he clenches, then releases his fingers.

Finally, he nods. “I believe you. Against all common sense, I believe you. You know the plan, right?”

“Unlike last time, she’ll travel with me and be Rex Anderson’s newest plaything. I’ll flirt and act like she’s one of my flings.”