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His lips wobbled when I asked him what duty meant. He said he didn’t know and he would’ve asked Mom, but she wasn’t here anymore. Tears slipped down his cheeks, and he quickly swiped them away.Because he’s the oldest,he told me.He wasn’t supposed to cry.

It’s your fault, Rex. All your fault.

I wiggle my finger under the cuff of my shirt and scratch my arm, but it’s no use. If anything, it makes it worse. Looking around, I spot a small pebble, its rough edges shiny under the light streaming in from the stained-glass window.

Setting Kazoo down by the windowsill, I pick up the small rock and stick it under my sleeve. Then, I scratch my forearm again. Tears spring into my eyes when the rock digs into my skin.

But it works. The pain chases away the itch.

I glance at Kazoo. He’s sad too.

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

No more penguins. No more Mom. No more Mommy and Rex adventures. Her lifeless face floats into my mind and I flinch, the itch growing.

She’s gone because of you, Rex.

Why didn’t I pick up my marbles that day?

Mom always said I should clean up after myself. Why didn’t I do it?

Then there were the voices. The argument. The loud banging door sounded like monsters. I ran outside to escape, even though it was raining.

Why didn’t I stay behind? If I stayed behind with Mom, would she still be here with us?

Because you were scared. You were stupid. You were afraid of monsters when everyone told you they didn’t exist. Scaredy cat, Rex. And now, Mom’s gone forever because of you.

I scratch harder and dig the pebble deeper into my skin.

I look at Kazoo again and whisper, “I miss Mom.”

More tears gather in my eyes, but I ignore them.

Crying won’t change anything. Crying can’t turn back time.

That’s when I hear it.

A sniffle, then a choked sob from inside the stall. Then another. And another.

Maxwell walks over and knocks on the door. “Ryland?”

Ryland staggers out and throws his arms around him.

Then, the unthinkable happens. My older brothers, the bravest boys I know, both start crying, their wails echoing against the walls.

My own tears slide down my face, and I run to my brothers and wrap my arms around them, not caring if I’m interrupting another special twin moment.

They draw me in and the three of us huddle, sobbing, snot dripping from our noses, because today, we have to say goodbye to the person who loved us the most.

“I shouldn’t be crying,” Maxwell whimpers. “I sh-should be strong.”

“I st-started it,” Ryland cries harder.

It’s me.I’m the one who caused all of this. I’m the one you should hate.

I want to tell them the truth. Mom used to say it’s important to be honest. I want to tell them what happened that day before I ran outside. How I could’ve stopped this if I’d just cleaned up my marbles. How I could’ve saved her. She was angry. Arguing with someone. That was why she didn’t see the marbles when she stomped down the stairs. That was why she slipped.

But when I open my mouth to tell the truth, nothing comes out. Because being hugged by my two older brothers, who always say I’m ascaredy cat and no fun to play with, makes me feel loved. For a moment, my arm doesn’t itch.