“You may rely on my discretion, Your Grace,” said Creighton stiffly, but it was clear his sensibilities were offended.
Robert opened the parlor door, and taking one look at its occupant, shut the door hastily and crossed the room to her side.
“Madeleine, good God, what are you doing here? Are you well? What is it?”
She was sitting on the edge of one of the chairs with her bonnet beside her, and when he reached her, she sprang up and flung herself on his chest, sobbing. “Oh, Robert, I’m so sorry, but I had to come when I heard.”
“Heard what?” he said with a sinking feeling. Her perfume, lavender, he used to find arousing, it now made him feel slightly ill, or perhaps that was just because of the sense of foreboding pervading his stomach. He patted her back gingerly and tried to extract her arms from round his neck.
“I was so cast down when I learned you were to be married, I was positively melancholy—it made me quite ill.”
He frowned, taking her hands and guiding her to sit down again. Tossing her bonnet aside, he sat beside her and said calmly, “Madeleine, I explained that was what was going to happen. I haven’t heard from you in months. I had assumed you were getting on with your life.”
She sniffed and he gave her a handkerchief. “I was so sad, but then I heard about the duchess and Ashford and thought you might need me?”
Oh God!He groaned silently.What a tangle!“Well, thank you for the thought, but no, it—isn’t what it looks like. I was at fault, not Ashford.”
She wiped her face and sniffed again. “The duchess was very understanding.”
“What?” He goggled at her dark glossy curls. Her dark beauty had ensnared him five years ago when they began their liaison. He had thought her the most beautiful woman he had ever met. Now he could only think black was no competition for chestnut.
“I was looking for you. When I came here, I was told you were in Leicestershire, so I went there, and the duchess told me you were here, so I came back again.”
He took a breath and bit back a sharp imprecation. “What did you say to the duchess?”
“I told—I told her about the baby!” she sobbed.
“What?” Robert’s world tipped on its axis, and he was grateful he was sitting down. His heart raced and that sick feeling increased.
“Are you telling me you are with child?”
She nodded, and standing up, she flattened her gown over her belly to show the gentle swell.
Robert closed his eyes for a moment and just breathed.
He opened his eyes and said through numb lips, “Why didn’t you come to me with this earlier?”
She swallowed and sat back down, her hands plucking at her skirts nervously. “I—I wanted to be sure. I was so upset I didn’t notice at first that I’d missed my courses, then I kept hoping they would start, and I was wrong. I felt so ill and tired and lethargic. I thought it was just grief at first.”
He rubbed his face with a groan. “Madeleine, I had no idea you would take this so hard. You seemed fine when I last spoke with you, not happy about it exactly, but not distraught. I—I cannot believe you would wait this long to come to me with this. You must be five months at least—”
“Do you mean to cast me off?” she said tremulously.
“Of course not, I just need a moment to—adjust! This is not what I expected. I thought we were always careful, that you took precautions. How did this happen?” He rose and paced around the room. He felt sick to his stomach. He may not have loved Madeleine as he did Sarah, though it had caused him a pang to separate from her. But he had done it thinking it was best for her to have time to adjust and find a new protector before he was leg shackled.
He had looked forward eagerly to Sarah having his children. He had never expected—. He looked back at her sitting huddled on the couch looking woebegone and small.God, I am a beast to treat her so. Why would she wait so long to tell me?She was small for five months, he thought, but then what did he know of such things?
Getting a grip on himself, he returned to the couch, sat, and took her hands. “Do not worry, I will take care of everything. You will not want for anything, you or the child.”
“The duchess said you would say that,” she sniffed.
His heart contracted.Sarah! She will never forgive me for this.He felt the sting of tears under his lids and a deep ache in his heart.
“I do wish that you hadn’t seen and spoken with the duchess. This will have caused her pain that I would prefer she didn’t have to experience.”
“Do you care for her?” she asked in a small voice.
“Yes. I’m sorry if it grieves you, but I do, very much.”
