Page 174 of Nobody's Girl

The pictures I have of her do her no justice. Her voice is even more delightful than I imagined it would be. It’s the slightest bit high, while smooth as silk and completely intoxicating. She is perfection.

I resist the urge to touch her. I don’t want to wake her. How I’ll be able to keep my hands off her, I don’t know. She clings to the idea of her love for that boy, yet I know she can sense our connection.

The air between us fills with sparks of electricity. I’ve never had this sensation. She has to sense it as well. Even as she sleeps, she holds fast to my hand. I want to brush my lips to hers so much it fills me with a tension I knew nothing of before her. It’s as if nothing existed until now.

How I was before, being only half of a whole. Now that I can breathe the same air she does I’m beginning to feel more myself. Odd to not have ever noticed it before. It’s certain once she falls in love with me, I’ll be a whole being for the first time in my life.

How do I get her to fall in love with me?

I have no idea how to do that. At the very least, I’m glad that boy hasn’t shown up here. Toni should’ve never told that girl of Alyssa’s accident. Now he could find out and show up.

Everything would’ve been different if I had just kept Alyssa with me. I suppose it’s useless to be mad at myself for past mistakes, but it boils in my brain.

My mother warned me and I blew her off. So smart, I thought I was. Now I look back and see that as extreme vanity.

Since I can remember, I pictured the moment Alyssa first saw me. She would love me, no matter what or how many years passed. That didn’t happen. She didn’t know me at all.

While my heart skipped several beats when her eyes opened, hers did not. I know this because of the heart monitor she’s hooked up to. It sped up a couple of times when I touched her, though. It’s obvious she’s already feeling something for me, if only physical for now. I can deal with that.

How will she take the news of her condition?

The small amount of conversation we’ve had leaves me to believe she thinks herself completely normal. Though she is far from it.

What does she see when she looks in the mirror? How does she not see her beauty is extraordinary? How could that boy have not told her as much?

That boy! How I’d like to send him from this Earth! He must’ve treated her like an ordinary girl, wanting to take her to Texas. And for what?

Was she to play his mistress while he goes to college, leaving her home to cook and clean? He would have taken her innocence without the sanctity of marriage, leaving her soul at the discretion of Our Creator. Then who knows what would’ve become of her immortal soul.

Though it’s no one’s fault but my own, I’d still like to see his face at the end of my fist, if only a time or two. A bloodied lip, perhaps, or a crooked nose, making him appear unattractive. Alyssa would hate me, though. No amount of self-indulgence would be worth that.

Her head stirs, turning towards me. Small blinks and then there they are—her gorgeous sapphire eyes. “Hi,” I say in a whisper.

Her lips curve into a sleepy smile.

She’s smiling at me, glad to see me still here, I hope.

“You’re awake.” Her voice is scratchy. I grab the cup of water and place the straw to her bottom lip. Holding my breath, I steady my hand, which threatens to tremble with the need to touch those lips. Readily, she takes a drink.

“I’m not tired, Alyssa. Glad you slept, though.”

The corners of her eyes wrinkle as she frowns. “You should’ve gone back to the house and slept.”

As if I could ever leave her side!

“I’m fine,” I say. “I wanted to be here for you. Hospitals can be a scary place when you’re all alone. I would hate for you to be afraid for even a second.”

Though beautiful in sleep, she is devastating when she’s awake.

She moves a bit, trying to sit up, and winces. “The pain meds are wearing off. My head hurts so badly.”

“I’ll press the button and get someone to get you some more. I’m not going to have you in pain.”

The smile on her face as I press the button shows I’m making progress with her. “Thank you.” Her words fall on my ears soft and sweet.

I can’t take it anymore. I have to touch her. Almost without any will at all, my hand travels the distance to her cheek. Soft beneath my hand, I stroke it. How badly I want to kiss her and make the pain go away.

“If I could take it all away I would.” My words flow out before I realize it.