Page 184 of Nobody's Girl

How could I have let her live like this?

Like she’s a normal, middle-class girl, when she’s so far from that. My hand lands on a royal blue sundress. It’s inexpensive, but still pretty. She can wear this if she’ll still wear what I pick out.

She may send me away, or try to anyway. She can’t really do that, but she can say it and I’ll have to give her some time.

Damn it, I’m a fool!

Dropping the dress on the bed along with the silver sandals I found, I give a longing look at the closed bathroom door. How I wish I could take back what I’ve done.

A note!

I’ll leave her a note to help her not be furious with me. Then I’ll wait for her to come to me.

Damn, I pray this works.

CHAPTER 15

ALYSSA

What the hell was that?

Soaking in the bath Eden made for me, I’m still tingling from his kiss.

How could I have ever thought he was gay?

He surprised me by holding me against the wall and kissing me. I’d never have allowed that if I hadn’t been so free with him, physically. I thought he was gay. Why wouldn’t it be okay for him to touch me?

Well, he was really holding me, now that I look back at it. I hate to admit this, but that short kiss made me feel something I’ve never felt with Kyle. Maybe it’s a mistake to think Kyle’s the one for me.

No! Don’t even think like that!

Kyle is sweet and charming and honest. Something I guess I’m not.

Oh, I am a cheater. A horrible person. Should I tell him about the kiss?

No, definitely not. It would only hurt him. But how can I look him in the eye and lie?

Even if it isn’t a spoken lie, but an omission of a small fact, it’s still a lie. I go under water. Maybe I could drown myself in this tub and never have to face him or Eden again.

I pop back up as the air runs out of my lungs. Death is too good for me. I’m an intolerable human being. I have to face this thing with Eden, whatever it is.

I cannot let my relationship with Kyle go just because a hot guy showed up on my doorstep and seems to want me.

No matter what Eden says, I know he’s a ladies’ man. He’s too slick not to be. So focused on me, like a wolf on its prey. I will not fall for it.

I get out of the tub and dry off, wrapping my hair in the towel. Pulling on my robe, I cross my fingers Eden is not waiting in my room for me.

He does know I have to get dressed. As I open the door I don’t see him anywhere.

Thank God.

He’s laid out a dress and sandals for me to wear.

Should I wear this?

After all, if he’s so hot for me, wearing something he’s picked out may not be a good idea. No, I better go a lot plainer than this. A T-shirt and jeans with an old pair of sneakers. My hair in a simple ponytail. No make-up and no perfume.

Should I put on deodorant?