Page 318 of Nobody's Girl

I look away and watch a silk spider’s web blow in the breeze.

He’s right.

“So are we supposed to pretend it’s not happening?” I ask.

He finds a pine cone and picks it up. “Don’t ask me. This is new to me. I can promise you only one thing. I’ll never be able to get physical with your wife. Not in real life.”

“Can I ask you something?” I ask.

He nods.

“If you could and if it wouldn’t hurt anyone, would you?” I ask.

He puts down his arm full of wood and comes to me. His hand lands on my shoulder. “I love her, Eden.”

His words feel like a hammer to my heart. “I know you do.”

He gives me a quick pat and turns away. “There’s no reason to go into scenarios where we get to have our cake and eat it too,” he says, then turns back. “I mean, even if you gave us your blessing to screw the hell out of each other, we could never do that. It isn’t in any of us to hurt each other in any way.”

“I could never give my blessing for that anyway,” I say.

“Of course you couldn’t. I’d wanna whip your ass if you did,” he says with a chuckle.

“I’m sorry, you know,” I say. “I’ve told my wife plenty of times how sorry I am about not following advice which was given to me to have her brought to me when she was thirteen. Yet I’ve never told you.”

“Sorry?” Kyle asks. “What in the world is there to be sorry about? What you see as a mistake, I see as great luck for me. I’m something I could have never been, thanks to you.”

“You don’t feel mad about this in any way?” I ask.

“I did,” he says. “At first. She’s in my life forever, yet I can’t have her physically and I long to. Then I think about people who have it worse. Real victims, real disabilities, real sorrow, and real pain. What do I have? Super powers, no worry over money ever, and great people who have my back while I have theirs.”

“You’ve found the bright side,” I say as I pick up a piece of wood. “It’s a hard life I’ve made for us all.”

“No, man, it’s a great life, Eden,” he says. “Look, we can’t help what happens in our damn dreams. I’m sure plenty of other shit will be worse than Ally and I leading a dream life together. Hell, I don’t even sleep eight hours a day. So you get her all the waking hours.”

I laugh and he laughs too. “Well, at least I have her more.”

“Yeah,” he says. “And what about me? Sure, Ally and I are having a dream baby, but you and she will have actual babies, ones you can hold and watch grow up. Our dreams could end today. Your life together is real and tangible, dude.”

I nod and look up at the darkening sky through the tall pines. “Our Creator must be quite the jokester.”

The bay of a hound dog sounds out in the tall, piney woods which surround the pasture. I look at Kyle as he picks up another piece of wood for the fire. “They sound close.”

He nods. “We better get back to the girls.”

CHAPTER 64

ALYSSA

The sound of dogs prompts Laura and me to gather up the ducklings and put them in the box in the back of Kyle’s truck.

“We need to cover the box with something, like a rag or something. It’ll make them stop quacking and go to sleep,” Laura says as she reaches into the truck, retrieving a small towel.

I wink at her. “Such a good mother you will make.”

She laughs. “I can’t have kids. I have to take care of you two.”

My jaw drops. “Laura, you can have kids. When I get pregnant, you should too. That would be perfect.”