Page 324 of Nobody's Girl

Kyle leans down, kissing me on top of my head. “I’m so sorry, Ally. I thought you were ready for this. You just have to get through it. You’ll be holding your daughter before you know it.”

The squeezing starts again. “No, no, no!”

The man at the end of the bed tells me, “Mrs. Stevens, you need to breathe.”

“I can’t,” I yell at him. “Where’s my mom? I need my mom.”

Kyle holds my hand, or rather, I’m squeezing his. “She’ll be here as soon as she can. You went into labor earlier than expected. Don’t you remember, Al?”

The pain eases up and Kyle takes his hand away from me, rubbing it. I look at my hand, which has an IV in it. It’s not him who has to endure this pain. He’s just standing there, feeling nothing. This isn’t fair.  And the squeezing starts again.

The doctor glances at me over the sheet. “I can see the top of her head,”

Kyle smiles and it makes me want to smack that smile right off his face. “Okay, Al, it’s almost over.”

On top of the squeezing, I feel an uncontrollable need to push. “I have to push,” I yell.

The doctor looks at me and says, “Not yet.” He’s completely messing up my world.

“What?” I yell.

Kyle puts his hand in mine and kisses my forehead. “Ally, just do what the doctor tells you.”

This is all too much. Neither one of them feels this pain or this urgency to push. “Fuck you both, I’m pushing.”

The doctor’s tone is stern as he says, “The cord is wrapped around your baby’s neck. If you push before I unwrap it, you’ll choke her.” His words take the little bit of air I had in my lungs away.

Pressure on my shoulder makes me look up at Kyle. His jaw is set and his tone commanding as he says, “Alyssa, get ahold of yourself. That’s our daughter. You can do what you have to so she doesn’t get hurt.”

The squeezing and the need to push fade away. Tears stream down my cheeks. “Oh my God! Hurry, before it starts again. I won’t be able to stop myself again.”

Kyle takes the washcloth and wipes my tears away. “You can do this, Al. I have faith in you. Our daughter needs you right now. Control yourself for her.”

The massive pressure builds again. I squeeze Kyle’s hand. “Jesus, Kyle, it hurts not to push. You did this to me. I hate you! I hate you so much, you fucking bastard! You better never come near me again. I’ll fucking kill you!” I scream as the pain wracks my body.

The doctor finally sets me free as he says, “Okay, Mrs. Stevens, the cord is free. You can push now.”

I let my body do what I’ve stopped it from and feel relief immediately. Then the urge passes. I breathe in several times and then feel the tightness begin again. I push as soon as the urge hits me. Suddenly I feel a relief and hear a cry.

“You did it, Alyssa. She’s here,” Kyle says softly to me as he leans down to kiss my forehead.

“Mr. Stevens, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” the doctor asks him.

He looks at me. “You okay?”

I manage to nod weakly. He lets my hand go and goes to the end of the bed. I lay my head back. I’m exhausted.

How in the hell do women do this shit over and over again?

“Look who I have here, Momma,” Kyle says as he walks back up to my side, holding a red-faced, little, wrinkly, black-haired thing.

He puts her on my chest and I raise my arms to hold her. “So you’re Junior. You just about made me hate my husband,” I say.

Kyle laughs. “Not ‘just about.’ I’m pretty sure you’ve hated me for the last few hours.”

I smile at him, then look back at the little human we created. “Thank you, Kyle. Thank you for this. She’s precious.”

A nurse wearing scrubs with baby ducks all over the shirt comes into my view. “We need to take the baby for a little while, to make sure she’s fine.”